What do you make to this? Long.

[beth_terri]

You need to walk in her shoes.
I think you are really insensitive. Clearly you don't like your SIL but it sounds like what happened was her first scan showed no heartbeat or was too early and she had to wait for another scan to see if the baby had developed at all. What she may have had is a missed miscarriage.

you may dislike her for all the reasons you mention in your first post but she is still deserving of sympathy because miscarriage is not pleasant however the baby was conceived.

You knew she had had a miscarriage so you could have tried to be a bit more sensitive about it. Yes her reaction was over the top but I am guessing that her miscarriage is a recent thing?

Blimey - i am actually pretty gobsmacked at your lack of sensitivity.

If im such an insensitive person then why does her own mother think she faked the miscarriage???? No one went to the hospital with her, no one new she had been at the hospital until after she had aparently got home. Now if that was you would you not want your mum there for support? She didnt tell anyone until 'after'.

Can you see what we have against us? There was nothing there at the scan- We ALL only heard this from her 4 year old daughter.
A month later she announces that she has been in hospital for 2 days due to a miscarriage.
She has done things like this before and it sickens me that she continues to get away with it. So who are you to judge my seisitivity you dont know her, or what emothinal blackmail she has previously put her family through.

And to your last point how was i menta be more sensitive about it. I asked her mum if she wanted to see the scan pictures and would it be ok being that toni was there. She said theyre all desperate to see the pictures.

They got passed around and then someone trid to pass it to her. It wasnt me that passed it to her. She responded why the fuck would I wanna see that.

 

[beth_terri]

"She is on watch with social services as my mum is her daughters reception teacher so she knows exactly whats been going on and classes her at risk"

seriously - your mother is sharing this confidential information with you and you are posting it on the internet. Shame on your mother.

She is on the watch with social services because I reported her! Fuck me! Get a grip woman!

 

[loverguts]

Beanz - I think you're going a little over the top. Yes, she probably shouldn't be mentioning social services but we were probably all wondering (and hoping) that the mother WAS at least on the radar with with them because it sounds like she shouldn't even be allowed to have her daughter in her house.

I agree that it was insensitive to show someone an ultrasound pic if they have had a miscarriage recently, and yes...its speculative but you can't really accuse someone of faking a miscarriage. But to be completely honest (and i don't care if this is harsh, because its true), someone like that does NOT deserve to be able to bring a baby into the world, and i hope that she doesn't manage to get pregnant again unless she sorts herself out. If she can't look after a 4 year old how the hell would she cope with a baby for gods sake?

 

[xAmiixLouisex]

Also, referring to what Tink84 said..
"However as much as a miscarriage is not nice although I would probs be raw and hurting inside I would still be chuffed for my brother etc as it's still my little niece or nephew."

As I said I couldn't be around my auntie because she was pregnant when I miscarried.
I'm over the moon for her now, her little girl is lovely. BUT at the time, I wasn't. I resented the fact she was having a baby. I was jealous. I didn't see why she deserved it more than me and looking back I had horrible and selfish thoughts. By no means do I think this is ok. But, this can be the effects a miscarriage has on you. In time, I'm sure she'll come around to the idea and she'll be happy with your little bundle of joy. But at the moment, the wound is still sore and I can see why she isn't very enthusiastic about your scan pictures.

 

[booflebump]

Locked at op request