What do you think of this plan?

[leedsforever]

I dont quite know what to say ... but I get the feeling you are listening to what the girls are saying and holding off for a bit...

good choice hun!!

 

[Serene123]

Yeah I think you're listening!

 

[sam#3]

I really hope that you think things through very carefully before you make any decisions, the situation seems like utter madness to me.
Who in their right mind would CHOOSE to bring a baby into such an unstable situation...

 

[Xanthe]

I guess you don't want to answer the other questions?

Stalker that I am, I have looked through some of OPs older posts to get some answers as this matter really concerns me.

Autumn Rose - from my understanding

1) You are living with you Mother and rely on state benefits
2) You were looking into getting a mortgage even though you don't have a job
3) You have a social phobia that prevents you from doing anything about the above.
4) Your beloved is only 18 years old too and a student

Reading through the lines, I think we can conclude that you are not currently living in the real world. You think you are "in love" with some guy on the internet - but really it doesn't matter how you feel about him cos he is essentially a sperm donor.

It really doesn't matter if he buggers off when you get pregnant, cos you will have your perfect baby, the garden will be rosy and sod looking for a job cos the state will support you.

The harsh reality is that you will most probably be suffering from your nervous disorder which could in fact be made worse by being pregnant and any post natal issues. Your poor old Mum will be bringing the baby up because you will be too incapacitated to and old lover boy will be a distant memory.

Sorry to burst your bubble love - but get from behind that bloody computer and get some counselling, get a job and then you're meet someone really worthy enough to even contemplate having a baby with.

I really hope for everyones sake that you look back on this in 20 years time and see it all as a teenagers foolish dream.

 

[AutumnRose]

I guess you don't want to answer the other questions?

Stalker that I am, I have looked through some of OPs older posts to get some answers as this matter really concerns me.

Autumn Rose - from my understanding

1) You are living with you Mother and rely on state benefits
2) You were looking into getting a mortgage even though you don't have a job
3) You have a social phobia that prevents you from doing anything about the above.
4) Your beloved is only 18 years old too and a student

Reading through the lines, I think we can conclude that you are not currently living in the real world. You think you are "in love" with some guy on the internet - but really it doesn't matter how you feel about him cos he is essentially a sperm donor.

It really doesn't matter if he buggers off when you get pregnant, cos you will have your perfect baby, the garden will be rosy and sod looking for a job cos the state will support you.

The harsh reality is that you will most probably be suffering from your nervous disorder which could in fact be made worse by being pregnant and any post natal issues. Your poor old Mum will be bringing the baby up because you will be too incapacitated to and old lover boy will be a distant memory.

Sorry to burst your bubble love - but get from behind that bloody computer and get some counselling, get a job and then you're meet someone really worthy enough to even contemplate having a baby with.

I really hope for everyones sake that you look back on this in 20 years time and see it all as a teenagers foolish dream.

How dare you say i would be too incapacitated to bring my own child up.
I asked for advice but you just really crossed the line with that comment.
And for your info, i have had counselling and every other fucking thing but nothing has worked so im doing it on my own.

 

[Mum2bewaiting]

i'm sorry, but if u are sorting out ur social phobia on ur own... what support are u going to be able to access when things get tough with ur child... and even more so how can u put a time scale on something that is such a slow process with professional guidance?

 

[pinkmummy]

This is totally off topic but I have just noticed your weight loss ticker. Surely 18.3 BMI is not healthy??

I just got this off a website

Lizzie, 33, can fit into clothes meant for a 10-year-old but at 5ft 2in tall and just over seven stone she does not look out of proportion.

Her BMI of 18.3 is slightly under the World Health Organisation's recommended minimum of 18.5

If you get pregnant you will put on weight not lose it. Please just concetrate on being a teen and enjoying life at the moment, I love my kids to bits but I do wish I had waited until I was older x

 

[pinkmummy]

-

 

[Kirstin]

Shes had that ticker for months and it hasn't moved at all so I doubt shes going to get anywhere close to an underweight bmi.

 

[sam#3]

also if you are now going it alone to so called cure your social phobia problems how do you know that you will be fine by Dec???????
Surely if it was as easy as that and you could pencil in a cured by date then all the treatment would have worked a long time ago........

It all seems a bit far out to me personally

 

[AutumnRose]

also if you are now going it alone to so called cure your social phobia problems how do you know that you will be fine by Dec???????
Surely if it was as easy as that and you could pencil in a cured by date then all the treatment would have worked a long time ago........

It all seems a bit far out to me personally

Why are you being so insensitive? I dont have to explain my illness to you because you just seem to enjoy critisizing and putting me down. Get off my back if you have nothing nice to say.

 

[sam#3]

I dont recall asking you to explain your illness to me........

 

[pinkmummy]

also if you are now going it alone to so called cure your social phobia problems how do you know that you will be fine by Dec???????
Surely if it was as easy as that and you could pencil in a cured by date then all the treatment would have worked a long time ago........

It all seems a bit far out to me personally

Why are you being so insensitive? I dont have to explain my illness to you because you just seem to enjoy critisizing and putting me down. Get off my back if you have nothing nice to say.

Look hun you asked for advice on the situation and that is all people have done. If you don't like what they say they just ignore them, its the THEIR opinion and thats what you asked for in the beginning of this thread

 

[Romybug]

Dont they make dolls over there for the youngsters anymore?????

 

[AutumnRose]

Yes, but i didnt ask them to be personal and put me down for even trying to get better.

 

[pinkmummy]

Yes, but i didnt ask them to be personal and put me down for even trying to get better.

They arent putting you down ... just making it realistic for you.

As people have said how can you put a time limit on an illness? You can't say I WILL be better by December as you may take a turn for the worst, you just never know. No one is trying to be mean I hink people just find this a really silly idea considering the circumstances x

 

[leeanne]

Ladies, I think you've said enough about her plan and situation. Although I don't agree with it either and wish that she would wait, which it seems like she just may do now, rudeness and personal attacks are bang out of order!

Play nice girls.

 

[Winter Belle]

I just re-read this thread since I last posted and I know some of these comments are starting to sound a little harsh but BnB is really a great place because so many people care about each and every individual and their situation. Your situation is firing up warning flags to everyone here simply because past histories suggest that it is an impractical situation that is highly unlikely to work out as you wish.

I really hope that you meet this guy, fall in love, get jobs and have the beautiful baby girl you so desperately want. I hope for something similar for everyone here... But there are so many possibilities that can go wrong with all of that and that is what people here are trying to warn you of. You need to be so sure that this is the right road for you to take. One minute you say you will both live over here, the next you will both live over there... that is a huge decision in itself that needs finalising before the baby comes along.

I think it definitely a wise decision to get to know the guy a bit better in person before jumping head first into having a baby. And the fact that you have put plans together and asked opinions implies you are really thinking everything through.

With SP I think it is definitely a good idea to get to know yourself a bit better once/if the SP has lifted. Through past experience anxiety disorders can begin to define you as a person and once they subside it takes a while to discover exactly what you want and who you are without that label hanging over your head.. Give yourself some time and let your OH pamper you and spoil you before LO comes along and all of yours and OH's energy and attention goes to your son or daughter.

take care xx

 

[Wobbles]

Dont they make dolls over there for the youngsters anymore?????

Ok I'm really not liking smart ass comments like this nomatter what - Can I point out that this is NOT how we talk to each other on BabyandBump regardless of what peoples personal views on the circumstances - shes 18 not 10.

I worry for your situation Autumn Rose from what I read the other day but nobody has the right to ATTACK you - If you'd like me to move or lock this thread pop me a PM if not I will assume your happy this stays open.

 

[Wobbles]

I guess you don't want to answer the other questions?

Stalker that I am, I have looked through some of OPs older posts to get some answers as this matter really concerns me.

Autumn Rose - from my understanding

1) You are living with you Mother and rely on state benefits
2) You were looking into getting a mortgage even though you don't have a job
3) You have a social phobia that prevents you from doing anything about the above.
4) Your beloved is only 18 years old too and a student

Reading through the lines, I think we can conclude that you are not currently living in the real world. You think you are "in love" with some guy on the internet - but really it doesn't matter how you feel about him cos he is essentially a sperm donor.

It really doesn't matter if he buggers off when you get pregnant, cos you will have your perfect baby, the garden will be rosy and sod looking for a job cos the state will support you.

The harsh reality is that you will most probably be suffering from your nervous disorder which could in fact be made worse by being pregnant and any post natal issues. Your poor old Mum will be bringing the baby up because you will be too incapacitated to and old lover boy will be a distant memory.

Sorry to burst your bubble love - but get from behind that bloody computer and get some counselling, get a job and then you're meet someone really worthy enough to even contemplate having a baby with.

I really hope for everyones sake that you look back on this in 20 years time and see it all as a teenagers foolish dream.

This is totally off topic but I have just noticed your weight loss ticker. Surely 18.3 BMI is not healthy??

I just got this off a website

Lizzie, 33, can fit into clothes meant for a 10-year-old but at 5ft 2in tall and just over seven stone she does not look out of proportion.

Her BMI of 18.3 is slightly under the World Health Organisation's recommended minimum of 18.5

If you get pregnant you will put on weight not lose it. Please just concetrate on being a teen and enjoying life at the moment, I love my kids to bits but I do wish I had waited until I was older x

Shes had that ticker for months and it hasn't moved at all so I doubt shes going to get anywhere close to an underweight bmi.

also if you are now going it alone to so called cure your social phobia problems how do you know that you will be fine by Dec???????
Surely if it was as easy as that and you could pencil in a cured by date then all the treatment would have worked a long time ago........

It all seems a bit far out to me personally

You know girls this is quite a nasty read!!! & I only went one page back!

Seriously you girls have NO right to pick at her weight I'm gobsmacked!

Also social phobia is common I had it BAD years ago and still have it now just not so bad so I think people should get off the lectures unless they have been there You will find people use the internet in those circumstances to makes friends, chat to people real time and even meet people my fear was a young girl left feeling worse over this situation ...mentally & emotionally if these problems exist.

Xanthe your reply is just patronising the whole way through!

What ever happened to honest but friendly advice on this forum!