What do you think of this plan?

[x_Rainbow_x]

All i can say is weve given you advice, and help if your not willing to take it then thats your choice but were telling you from experiance and life experiance.

 

[Serene123]

You asked us what we thought, so we're telling you!


I have anxiety problems and it's been awful fighting them to do stuff. I found it hard to go to clinic and stuff. I'm only telling you that it'll be hard for your own good. Being a mum gave me anxiety issues so I can only assume that if you have previous problems it could make them come back / make them worse?

 

[AutumnRose]

No, im not using him to get me pregnant that would be selfish ....I love him and he is a caring person. Im still considering moving to Florida to live with him after we get to know each other... since then we wont be apart.

 

[welshlass]

You guys dont really understand my situation and my social phobia...so you cant make out im weird... i know its not normal but then what is normal?
Nothing wrong with me wanting a baby, i will get better first for the fact it means i can become a mother.

There is nothing wrong with you wanting a baby but we can;t always have what we want at the time we want it ! and people are just suggesting other ways of getting what you want. And no-one has called your phobia wierd.

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

I also suffer with bad anxiety, my husband gets mega frustrated with me because he nos i can go out but wont. i have a strange form of OCD which seriously sends me wappy! it was soooo bad at one point it prevented me going to a midwife appointment. what you gunna do if you need 2 do something or go somewhere for the sake of your child but cant. I have good weeks and bad.

 

[Serene123]

No, im not using him to get me pregnant that would be selfish ....I love him and he is a caring person. Im still considering moving to Florida to live with him after we get to know each other... since then we wont be apart.

Right so you're 'considering' living with him if you get on with him, but you're definately going to have a baby with him?

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

just sayig get to no this guy first spend a few years doing things together going out having holidays, partying together living together. you NEVER no somebody untill you live with them trust me!

 

[welshlass]

No, im not using him to get me pregnant that would be selfish ....I love him and he is a caring person. Im still considering moving to Florida to live with him after we get to know each other... since then we wont be apart.

you want to move to live with him 'after you get to know him' but you know him well enough to have a baby ?

 

[Serene123]

No, im not using him to get me pregnant that would be selfish ....I love him and he is a caring person. Im still considering moving to Florida to live with him after we get to know each other... since then we wont be apart.

you want to move to live with him 'after you get to know him' but you know him well enough to have a baby ?

That's what I said

 

[kristy87]

never mind not knowing someone till you live with them, you have to meet them first!!!

 

[AutumnRose]

No, im not using him to get me pregnant that would be selfish ....I love him and he is a caring person. Im still considering moving to Florida to live with him after we get to know each other... since then we wont be apart.

Right so you're 'considering' living with him if you get on with him, but you're definately going to have a baby with him?

yes, we would have to get married for me to live over there with him.
That way, he would be with me throughout my pregnancy and the babies life.
Although he would earn just enough to get us all by and pay bills.

 

[Alexas Mommy]

I agree with the others-this is an awful situation to bring a baby into-You say you have been desperate for a child since you were 12!! It sounds like you want a baby, so you can fill some sort of void in your life, and I am sorry, but it doesn't work that way-that is a very selfish reason to have a baby. It is not fair on the baby. It sounds like, to me, that you have found a guy, who humours the fact that you want a baby, and he does as well (he's on here too?!) I'm confused as well as concerned, because no decent man would want to ttc a baby, with a woman they don't even know-sorry that may sounds harsh, but even in a relationship that has been going on for years, it is the man holding back on having a baby... Don't be in such a rush to have a baby-I understand you are not a socail person, but you do need time to get to know your OH irl-internet is different from real life, and it is also very different living with a guy-there are so many obstacles that need to be dealt with before trying to bring a baby into the world. Your situation is not healthy at all-and Toria's situation is nowhere near yours-she knows her OH, and he is part of Caitlyn's near everyday life...

I am desparate to be a mother and have been since i was 12, i want it so badly it hurts and i cant ignore the painful desire anymore.

Overall, I don't understand why you have been wanting a baby since you were 12, regardless, that does not justify rushing a baby into an unstable world-again-very selfish-having a baby is about being selfless-not to fulfill your "desires"-sounds like you think having a baby is all fun and games-well it is not, they are not dolls, and not angels-maybe you think you know that, but it doesn't seem as though you really do, because I have never heard something so selfish, as to bring a baby into the situation you're in.

Please rethink.

 

[Serene123]

No, im not using him to get me pregnant that would be selfish ....I love him and he is a caring person. Im still considering moving to Florida to live with him after we get to know each other... since then we wont be apart.

Right so you're 'considering' living with him if you get on with him, but you're definately going to have a baby with him?

yes, we would have to get married for me to live over there with him.
That way, he would be with me throughout my pregnancy and the babies life.
Although he would earn just enough to get us all by and pay bills.

So you're not up to marrying him, which can be undone with a divorce, but you're up to having a child with him? I don't get it..

 

[AutumnRose]

Yes i do want to marry him!

 

[Serene123]

But you've never met him... He could have aids or a crack habit........ Or just be completely nuts!

 

[binxyboo]

Yes i do want to marry him!

has he asked?

 

[Alexas Mommy]

No, im not using him to get me pregnant that would be selfish ....I love him and he is a caring person. Im still considering moving to Florida to live with him after we get to know each other... since then we wont be apart.

Right so you're 'considering' living with him if you get on with him, but you're definately going to have a baby with him?

yes, we would have to get married for me to live over there with him.
That way, he would be with me throughout my pregnancy and the babies life.
Although he would earn just enough to get us all by and pay bills.

I think that if you are going to have a baby with him, he should be able to more that "just" support you and baby.... I think you need to live with him first, have a job, and become stable in all ways possible, and then think about having a child.

 

[kristy87]

he would have to earn enough to see us all by ?

it sounds like this man as others have said is just there to supply. im sorry if it seems harsh i just dont get it

 

[NuKe]

i have had mental disorders before, and you just CANNOT put a timeframe on healing them! for you to say 'i will be better by december' is downright ignorant. it took me years to get over my issues and trust me they were a lot more serious than anxiety! not to downtrod anyone with anxiety, i know its an awful affliction, all im saying is my oh has suffers from anxiety for over 15 years and i can tell you its not a quick-fix problem. and instead of being so defensive, try listening to some of us! theres a lot of experience and wisdom in these forums! don't post threads on wanting peoples' opinions if you really just want confirmation that you are doing the right thing. you won't get it and you clearly are unsure if you have to get opinions from people you don't even know.

 

[malpal]

What do you do now? Do you work/school? Do you live on your own/parents? Sorry not being nosey just want to try to understand your situation.