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What is wrong with me?????

I think you need to see a Dr, sounds serious to me that you 'hate' and only 'tolerate' your son even with my GD I never felt hate towards my boys. You might need to go on some anti depressants for a while.
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, chances are if the baby had a vagina, she'd still scream and cry, still have issues eating and still be a typical baby and you'd probably still feel the same way.
I really feel for you that you're having such a tough time! Big :hugs:
Just remember your little baby loves his mum so much and it's not his fault he's a boy, try give your babies the love you wanted to get as a child from your mum.
Also I'm having my 3rd son in May. So no girls for me either but after having two miscarriages and the awful issues I've had this pregnancy I'm just glad I have a healthy baby to take home soon. It doesn't matter that he's not a girl, sure I still get sad at other people's girl announcements, seeing girls clothes and accessories but that's life we just have to move on and live with the miracles we have been given.
 
I too want to send some hugs your way. And I agree with what Misscalais said in the above post about going to see a doctor. I'm only 16 weeks but I can relate to a lot of the feelings you had when you were pregnant. I'm 26, recently married and we conceived within 1 month even though I was told it would take a while as I have endometriosis. Thank you for being so honest and sharing your story.

We don't know what we having, I worry too about having gender disappointment as I really want a boy. But other than that all of the other worries I have had have almost gone. I wish you best of luck.
 
Thank you ladies :)
I decided to bite the bullet and despite my resevations on the matter I saw the doctor who was very sympathetic and he gave me the lowest possible dose he could of anti depresents.
I have to give them 3-4weeks to kick in so he wanted me to go back in a month to tell him how im doing (and see if i need anymore)
I am very disapointed in myself for not handling it on my own but as I explained to my husband.
Its not fair on our son, my husband or me. I said it must be so hard for my husband waking up not knowing if I will have a good or bad day, and nor on my son who doesnt understand.
Hopefully things will improve again over the next couple of weeks and if nothing else I wont get so down about having a child.
Thanks again ladies, I will come back and say how I'm getting on with the tablets from time to time and mrs owl.. please let me know how ur 20week scan goes, boy or girl. I would hope you get your boy and if you have a girl I hope that you are happy and dont go through what I am now.
Xxx
 
My daughter was a terrible feeder--she just wouldn't stay awake and I remember about a month after she was born sobbing and being at my wit's end as to what to do with her. I was falling apart because of lack of sleep. It slowly did get better over the course of a few weeks. I don't think I would have said I had very friendly feelings towards her at the time, so part of what you're feeling is quite natural. I don't think it has to do with GD at all.

And all that doom-and-gloom is really the depression whispering in your ear. But as you'll find out, there's so much time for things to change. I thought I was done with one son for seven years, until I got brave enough to try again. I also had pg and health issues that caused a delay. And then I thought I was done with kids, but here seven years later again am starting over. You might also end up adopting the little girl you'd like someday, and that's great and awesome. There are just so many possibilities for you!

Good luck and give yourself some time to get better. I'm so glad you have a doctor on your side now that will be monitoring your health.
 
Thank you ladies :)
I decided to bite the bullet and despite my resevations on the matter I saw the doctor who was very sympathetic and he gave me the lowest possible dose he could of anti depresents.
I have to give them 3-4weeks to kick in so he wanted me to go back in a month to tell him how im doing (and see if i need anymore)
I am very disapointed in myself for not handling it on my own but as I explained to my husband.
Its not fair on our son, my husband or me. I said it must be so hard for my husband waking up not knowing if I will have a good or bad day, and nor on my son who doesnt understand.
Hopefully things will improve again over the next couple of weeks and if nothing else I wont get so down about having a child.
Thanks again ladies, I will come back and say how I'm getting on with the tablets from time to time and mrs owl.. please let me know how ur 20week scan goes, boy or girl. I would hope you get your boy and if you have a girl I hope that you are happy and dont go through what I am now.
Xxx
That's great news that you've taken a huge step to seek help. That takes a lot of courage :hugs: I really hope it helps you Hun because you deserve to be happy and enjoy your son while he's a bub x
 
I'm so sorry you feel this way, I understand the hard nights too, but I tell you a year down the track I miss the late nights, up cuddling, just me and my boy!
 
:hugs: well done for going to the doctor.
 
So I'm just over a week on my tablets and I honestly don't know if it's the tablets or coincedence.

I have been having massive bouts of energy and non stop cleaning (which has made me feel pretty amazing as Im happy with the house again)
Also despite ds being so hard through the night I'm starting to enjoy his smiles first thing in the morning. Today and yesterday he has also been very chatty which I have enjoyed.
I went to a bumps and bundles group yesterday and the mums there seem so lovely and supportive. I'm hoping meeting some mums with babies who are all precrawlers will help me.

So.... so far things are slowly getting better. When ds is screaming I'm still annoyed of course but I am able to deal with it without bursting into tears :)
 
That's great, I'm glad things are improving
 

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