What made you decide a home birth or natural birth (i.e. no pain relief) was for you?

[Nessicle]

This is genuine curiosity and I don't want any opinionated posts on here please people! Lets keep it nice!

OK, I'm so respectful of the ladies who have a home birth or pain relief free birth because quite honestly childbirth scares the crap outta me and I want every drug going!

I just wondered apart from the obvious reasons of convenience if you have another child/not having a sleepy baby etc, what is the main reason that made you decide/decided to have a natural or home birth? I mean stuff like: to see how your body can manage etc because it would interest me to see how high my pain threshold is but I know I'm a wimp lol!

I think you're amazing ladies who do this and I would never be able to do it knowing there are drugs to take away the pain. Suppose I feel weak in saying that as it is the most natural thing ever but I just know I couldnt do it and I take my hat off to you

xx

 

[trumpetbum]

I think for me as positive as my first birth was, I hated the lack of control, the feeling of being passive and overwhelmed by the clinical setting. I started to question things that were routine such as being on your back etc. Had my birth been longer, I don't know whether I would have got past the 'brick wall' stage without begging for analgesia.
I sought support for breastfeeding and a change in how I wanted to parent and found an amazing little site run by an uber crunchy mama and similar types. I started to read about homebirth and realise that it was actually an option that appealed to me. I wondered why i needed to be in a hospital setting when the safety of homebirth was well established. The more I read about intervention leading to more interventions the more I wanted to avoid this. I knew I could cope with labour but was sure being at home would facilitate this more easily.

My homebirth wasn't straightforward. I was in labour for a long time, baby was posterior and born sunny side up, she was considered large for my build, my contractions did nothing to help me dilate for a long time as she was trying to turn. I still managed with entonox though and would choose my homebirth over my first any day of the week.
The m/w who attended me hadn't been keen to be there, she just drew the short straw in the shift change over. She told me that in her opinion if I'd been scanned and they'd known baby was large and posterior they would have pushed to get me in, that my birth would almost certainly have been with an epidural and either assisted delivery or C-section for failure to progress. Such was the policy at the hospital I was attached to.

So, this time around I planned a homebirth from my BFP. There are circumstances where I would go to hospital and a few where I would look at options such as epidural, but for the most part I like as little interference as possible and know that it is much easier for me at home in my own environment.

 

[Nessicle]

Thank you! Some really positive pro's about home birthing - see this is the stuff the NHS websites and pregnancy books don't go in to depth about really so it's nice to hear about real experiences

 

[JenStar1976]

I only decided on a home birth after my NCT classes at 35 weeks: I wanted to guarantee that I could birth in a pool and it was explained to me how busy my local hospital was (it only has one pool). It just sounded like an horrendous conveyor belt on which I did not want to travel!

I have never been scared of giving birth and consider myself to have a high pain threshold, so drugs as pain relief were never something that I'd given much thought to (whether I'd been at hospital or at home). When it came to it, I used all the breathing and visualising techniques I'd learnt at pregnancy yoga and I was able to have a pleasant and calm labour and birth. I believe in mind over matter. If you go into it feeling anxious about pain before you've experienced it, then I really do think that you will feel it more when the time comes. x

 

[Nessicle]

very true about pain JenStar1976 - a lot of it is mind over matter, I know personally I don't handle pain very well and get myself all worked up about it which for me and my bubs wouldnt be a good situation which is why I'll be having pain relief and in a hospital. It would be lovely to have a nice calm natural birth though I do envy you brave ladies x

 

[Farie]

For me there are a few factors - in a rough order of personal importance

• I want to be in an environment that I'm really comfy in - for me thats at home
• I want to be able to stay active and cope with the pain as I see fit - again I feel this will be easier at home. I actually have a very low pain threshold, but I also know distraction is a very powerful tool against pain.
• I want to use water as its a proven form of pain relief and I LOVE baths anyway - they really relax me so I figure that can only be helpful in birth, particularly to avoid tearing.
• Statistically birthing at home is no more dangerous
• It is proven that the more intervention used the more likely a c-section will be needed
• At home where stronger pain relief is not available I will be less likely to want/need it - rather than being in an environment where its readily offered and my pain is a main focus.
• Women have been giving birth for thousands of years, we are built to do this, we can do this - yeah it will be painful, but its not a pain you need to fight, its a positive pain that you need to work with.

And lastly but not least, I trust my midwife implicitly, if she says I need to do X then I need to do X, if she says I need to go to hospital then thats where I go.
I know she will do her best to allow me to have the birth I want as shes very pro active, natural, water birth and home birthing, but if she says I need a hospital, an epi and a c-section, then thats where I'll go and what I'll have - bubs safety always comes 1st.

Ps - edited to add at home I will have access to tens, water, gas and air and if necessary pethadine - so pain relief is available even at home!

 

[goddess25]

It just seems like a natural progression to me... I wanted a drug free first birth although with the first i made the choice to go to the hospital. I laboured at home and got into the hospital at 9.5cm dilated so I made it to the pushing point drug free.. unfortunately Euan was stuck and he had shoulder dystocia so I had to go to theatre and have a spinal to get him out... but since I know that I laboured at home and almost did it I know that I can... and I also know that if I at home I will be comfortable, be in more control and there are less options for intervention unless absolutely required. I was so uncomfortable in hospital last time as I had the spinal and i was in the most horrendous bed that bent in the middle... and I could not move for about 8 hours after and I was just so sore. Homebirth sounds good to me... my OH is not convinced yet so we are not 100% decided he is an important part in the process of giving birth so if he does not come round I will do the hospital.. but I think he will.

 

[Tulip]

I should start by saying that in the initial pack from the community midwives that we get here, it states that they are very pro-homebirth for uncomplicated pregnancies, even for first-time mummies.

The other thing for me was the guaranteed availability of the birth pool at home! (Our hospital only has one too). But once I started reading more about the cascade of intervention it became more important to me. I will also feel more comfortable and therefore progress better at home. Goodness knows I've spent enough time in hospital over the years (not excessive, but I've had several ops on my left eye and enough outpatients appts to last a lifetime) so they hold no fear for me, but that extra privacy of home means a great deal for me - I don't want randomers wandering in and out of the room when I'm trying to bring my baby into the world.

I also believe that a) our bodies were built to do this, so it shouldn't be agony and b) mind over matter is a very powerful thing. I remember when i used to get terrible period pain in my teens - if I concentrated enough, I could imagine the pain away. I've only just remembered me over the last couple of weeks and it has really excited me. We have been to hypnobirthing classes to learn relaxation techniques and with my reasonablly high pain threshold I am fairly confident that I can manage labour with hypno, TENS and water (but not TENS and water at the same time . We don't get G&A here until 7cm dilated because of the size of the cylinders carried by the CMWs. Hubby says surely if I can get to 7cm without G&A then I can get to 10cm... and I think he's got a point.

I did have a bit of a wobble a couple of weeks ago - as mummy to an angel I will always be expecting something to go wrong until he is in my arms - and I was worried he'd need resuscitating. But resus at home would initially be the same as resus in hospital, and we are 8 minutes away by blue lights. The most reassuring part was the MW I saw last week - we had a long chat and she is SO EXCITED and very supportive about my home hypno birth. I absolutely can't wait and emailed the pool hire company this morning

 

[tinybutterfly]

i'm going for natural bc otherwise i'd be the firsts female in my family to do it with an epidural, i'd be the wuss haha.

but seriously, millions and millions of women have done it before me, i'm sure i can do it too.

and i want to give birth under water, then you can't get pain relief

 

[stardust599]

I didn't really think about it before.

Then my MWs told me they don't offer epidurals in our area as they don't have the staff available for the complications that can arise. The only other thing on offer is pethidine/diamorphine which are very very similar drugs to heroin. My sister had diamorphine in her first birth and it made her baby very sleepy for 48hours and she wasn't allowed home straight away which is important to me. I did some research and came across lots of other disadvantages to these for both Mum and baby and decided I needed to find a better way to cope!

So I turned to google for labour pain relief and came across natural births. I considered a home birth but decided it wasn't for me seeing as we live in a poky flat and are at least 20min from hospital in an ambulance. Then looked into hypnobirthing but I am a bit skeptical - I have hypnosis CDs for my anxiety etc. and they really haven't done much for me.

Then decided just to go back to basics and do it the way it's always been done by women - I started looking at how births were managed in history and sort of combined it with a modern take on natural birthing. I'm now going with plenty of mind and body preparaton, managing at home as long as possible, minimal intervention in hospital - just want to be left with my OH to get on with it and only be helped if there are concerns. Pain relief by TENS, water, massage, birthing ball, staying active etc.

So for me it's not really about being empowered by it or seeing how my body can manage the pain - it's about what's best for me as a Mum and my baby and what gives us the best chance of being safe, healthy and happy and recovering quickly. I am still happy to accept the things that won't affect us such as quick examinitations and baby monitoring etc. and if the DRs find something that concerns them I will be happy to take their advice.

xxx

 

[KandyKinz]

First off I wanted to say I remembered your name from the TTC from many many moons ago so congrats on the BFP!!!!

Secondly that's a very good question!!

For me, my drive towards natural childbirth homebirth was basically because that's what my inner instinct drove me towards. Childbirth is one of the most momentous times in a women's life and it can either go two ways... It can be absolutely traumatizing... Or it can be absolutely amazing... To me an amazing birth consists of giving in to nature and letting my body do what it was meant to do, I want those close to me to experience the journey with me. I want to labour in water. I want candles, music and serenity.... I don't want to be in a foreign sterile artificially lit up environment. I don't want to be in a place where I go when I'm or those close to me go when we're sick. I want to be in a place of comfort.

And having had a hospital birth in the past.... I have acknowledged that the hospital environment is not my serene place of comfort.

I guess for me, I consider birth more of an intimate celebration as oppose to a medical procedure. And while I do think that in the end the only thing that really matters is the health of babe and myself I'd still like the journey to get there to be special and memorable if possible. It's kinda like getting married.... In the end the only thing that really matters is that you and your husband are married and committed to eachother for eternity... but for some the ceremony and dress and cake and dancing and photographs are lovely lovely add ons that you look forward to and cherish for the rest of your life.... Some girls are perfectly content eloping at town hall and others want much much more.... Both options are fine as long as your happy in the end.... When it comes to birth some girls don't care how the baby gets out as long as the baby gets out in good health and it doesn't hurt too bad. But for me I want a healthy baby and much much more!

 

[misspeach24]

Ive decided on a natural waterbirth, most likely in a birthing centre. I would have loved for homebirth, but circumstances probably dont permit, because it looks like I'll be moving back with my mum soon in her house.

The reasons:

I'm scared of hospitals because Ive had terrible experiences, dont trust doctors/nurses, dont trust modern medicine.
I want to be comfortable and in control and do it at my own pace.
I wouldn't consider any pain relief, i want the full experience, I dont mind the pain because it is for a reason and means soon I will be holding my baby. I'm going to try a bit of hypnobirthing and ofcourse use the water.
Sometimes I feel a bit scared, but not for the pain just being scared for the lifechanging experience that going to happen and really hope it goes smoothly!

 

[Pixxie]

The realisation that millions of women do this everyday and did it everyday before all the drugs were invented. They are unnecessary, I will not die from the pain.

Pain is only a feeling, I don't want to be off my kite the first time I meet my child!

Birth is beautiful and natural, I want to keep mine that way x

 

[Nessicle]

Thanks for all the great responses

It's just something that I had been wondering for a while as for me being at home wouldnt be relaxing - I'd be worried about everything possible going wrong, I have a very low pain threshold and I wouldnt be able to relax just worrying about the mess the house would be in after

For me I'd find being in a different environment like the hospital more relaxing because it would mean less things for me to worry about. As it's in a delivery ward rather than the cancer wing or surgical wing etc I wouldnt feel I was in the hospital for a medical procedure.

Pixxie I've had so many illnesses and bad health in the past that unfortunately I have quite a blase attitude to pain relief and have no problem taking it. For me I believe it was invented so we didnt have to feel pain or as intense pain IMO - just my own personal view of course (and I still think you girls are very brave and fab for doing it without) is that if there is an option to help with the pain then I don't want to be a martyr and I'd accept anything

xx

 

[Pixxie]

You will only feel intense pain if you think you're going to feel intense pain

Animals dont scream in agony when they have their babies xxx

 

[Nessicle]

thanks hun - i know a lot is mind over matter but I suffer with panic attacks and anxiety so reckon it would be better for me and bubs anyway if I didnt get myself worked up like that, I get terrible adrenaline as well at the thought of pain I lose sensation in my legs (hey that's not so bad though is it ha ha?!) xx

 

[Pixxie]

Everyone is different, if you're comfortable with having the drugs then get off your kite on the NHS! xx

 

[stardust599]

Haha "get off your kite on the NHS" made me laugh.

Seriously, if it was any other operation I'd take any morphine/pain meds they could through at me. I just don't want to put my baby at risk or ruin her birth and that the only reason!

xxx

 

[trumpetbum]

Thanks for all the great responses

It's just something that I had been wondering for a while as for me being at home wouldnt be relaxing - I'd be worried about everything possible going wrong, I have a very low pain threshold and I wouldnt be able to relax just worrying about the mess the house would be in after

For me I'd find being in a different environment like the hospital more relaxing because it would mean less things for me to worry about. As it's in a delivery ward rather than the cancer wing or surgical wing etc I wouldnt feel I was in the hospital for a medical procedure.

Pixxie I've had so many illnesses and bad health in the past that unfortunately I have quite a blase attitude to pain relief and have no problem taking it. For me I believe it was invented so we didnt have to feel pain or as intense pain IMO - just my own personal view of course (and I still think you girls are very brave and fab for doing it without) is that if there is an option to help with the pain then I don't want to be a martyr and I'd accept anything

xx

I think the main thing is that where you are comfortable is the best place for you.
I do believe that fear and anxiety play a huge part in the pain of childbirth so I think it's important to be somewhere that feels right for you, and to be confident in your choices and know what's on offer, how it works and when are the best circumstances to take it. In some circumstances for example, an epidural can be the difference between a vaginal birth and a section (exhaustion or severe anxiety/panic).
There's nothing wrong with choosing analgesia, that's what it's there for, it's just not the coping mechanism I'd personally use unless there was some difficulty that I felt indicated it.

 

[Nessicle]

Everyone is different, if you're comfortable with having the drugs then get off your kite on the NHS! xx

sounds good to me ha ha ha xx