What made you decide a home birth or natural birth (i.e. no pain relief) was for you?

[Nessicle]

Thanks for all the great responses

It's just something that I had been wondering for a while as for me being at home wouldnt be relaxing - I'd be worried about everything possible going wrong, I have a very low pain threshold and I wouldnt be able to relax just worrying about the mess the house would be in after

For me I'd find being in a different environment like the hospital more relaxing because it would mean less things for me to worry about. As it's in a delivery ward rather than the cancer wing or surgical wing etc I wouldnt feel I was in the hospital for a medical procedure.

Pixxie I've had so many illnesses and bad health in the past that unfortunately I have quite a blase attitude to pain relief and have no problem taking it. For me I believe it was invented so we didnt have to feel pain or as intense pain IMO - just my own personal view of course (and I still think you girls are very brave and fab for doing it without) is that if there is an option to help with the pain then I don't want to be a martyr and I'd accept anything

xx

I think the main thing is that where you are comfortable is the best place for you.
I do believe that fear and anxiety play a huge part in the pain of childbirth so I think it's important to be somewhere that feels right for you, and to be confident in your choices and know what's on offer, how it works and when are the best circumstances to take it. In some circumstances for example, an epidural can be the difference between a vaginal birth and a section (exhaustion or severe anxiety/panic).
There's nothing wrong with choosing analgesia, that's what it's there for, it's just not the coping mechanism I'd personally use unless there was some difficulty that I felt indicated it.

Thanks hun very true!

I'm defo going to try and manage on as little as I can especially at the start and then if the pain becomes really bad for my pain threshold I know the epidural is there (obviously I wouldnt be able to have it if I was past a certain dilation point etc) xx

 

[KandyKinz]

I'm defo going to try and manage on as little as I can especially at the start and then if the pain becomes really bad for my pain threshold I know the epidural is there (obviously I wouldnt be able to have it if I was past a certain dilation point etc) xx

Actually, there's no dilation point at which an epidural can't be inserted. I've even seen women get them at 9-10cm dilated... Though, many nurses/midwives will discourage them at that point cause once you're in transition... tthe hings are really hard... point in labour (7-10cm) things normally go really really fast!!!!

So if a woman asks for an epidural at 8cm.... she'd need to get atleast 500-1000ml of IV fluid before they'd administer it and the anesthetist would need to get their butts up to labour and delivery then you'd have to go through the procedure and wait for the effects to kick in... the whole wait could take 30 to 40 minutes anyways and by that time you could vary well be pushing or even holding your baby in your arms.

But in really really pushy women and situations where labour progress is slower then normal epidurals can certainly be given at ANYTIME during the labour.

 

[TattooedMama]

For me and my husband we decided a home birth is best for many reasons.

1)Neither of us are comfortable with me and baby being poked and prodded and violated in the hospital- I don't like it but it literally makes him furious. 2)My Dr has brought up getting an epidural every single appt I have had with him and how he just doesn't like when mom's want to go "natural". 3)At my 14 & 18wk appt's he was already talking about inducing me which I did not like. At that early in the pregnancy, IMO, you could not possibly forsee a reason to need to induce pregnancy early other than for his convenience. 4)I really wanted to have a natural drug free birth with my son but my mom was a bitch and made me feel like I wasn't strong enough to do it and I ended up being induced. 5) I'm also a person that has a lot of anxiety and for me being home, comfortable with my husband whom I love and my son close by is best. We want it to be stress free for everyone, including baby and feel home is a better environment for that. Also we can wait until the cord stops pulsing for it to be cut, I won't have my stomach pushed on(which hurts like hell) or my breasts fumbled with by nurses like last time. I don't want a bunch of strangers holding my baby either.


Things went so wrong for me last time in the hospital and I just want to be able to have my baby naturally, as nature intended. I don't want strangers, drugs or unnecessary interventions and checks. We want it to be special and for us that means not in a hospital

 

[sammiwry]

My main reason for wanting a home birth is my severe dislike of hospitals and the effect being in a hospital has on me. I get so irriated and wound up that I just cannot see how it is going to be of benefit to me and Madden once he is here. I also like the fact I will be able to have a pool if I so want and wont have the risk of it not being available.

 

[babyjiva]

1) my friend had awful side effects from an epidural
2) epidurals can complicate the pushing stage
3) i don't want to be medicated when i first meet my daughter
4) i don't want her to be medicated!
(those are the reasons specific to why i'm not taking pain medication. It's not about being a martyr. That would not be practical. There are very practical reasons not to take an epidural and although some people may not be persuaded by these reasons, others are. I am.)

on a personal level
5) i want to be comfortable
6) i don't want anyone deciding things about my birth for me (ie. when i get to hold baby, how i should be positioned, when i get to go home etc.)
7) i really believe birthing is easier when natural. i hear more positive natural birthing stories than hospital ones. go read the announcements/birth story section. yikes!
8) my husband is scared to death that an epidural would hurt LO somehow

 

[Nessicle]

Oh I wasnt saying anyone else was being a martyr babyjiva just meant for myself as I don't manage pain well and that would result in my baby and me getting distressed if you know what I mean x

 

[nikki-lou25]

Ness - did you ever read Aimees birth story?

For us it just felt right, I am far more relaxed at home than I would be in hospital. I was terrified before I hired my doula and started hypnotherapy. I realised quite quickly that your body is designed to have a baby.
I didnt intentionally have no pain relief, I just coped til transition without anything then gave G&A a try but didnt like it. My hubby also suffers with anxiety and there was much more chance he'd be at Aimees birth if I was at home!

Each to their own, for me homebirth is right - for others full hospital care and as many drugs as possible.

 

[Nessicle]

No I didnt hun! where is it? would be lovely to read it xx

 

[Cariad_bach]

The realisation that millions of women do this everyday and did it everyday before all the drugs were invented. They are unnecessary, I will not die from the pain.

Pain is only a feeling, I don't want to be off my kite the first time I meet my child!

Birth is beautiful and natural, I want to keep mine that way x

^ i ditto all of the above
Plus the added fact that my other labours were quite quick, i lived in a rural area over half an hour to the nearest hospital and i had other children with no way of getting child care for them so i figured chances are im going to end up having a home birth anyway so i may as well plan for one!!!

Thanks for all the great responses

It's just something that I had been wondering for a while as for me being at home wouldnt be relaxing - I'd be worried about everything possible going wrong, I have a very low pain threshold and I wouldnt be able to relax just worrying about the mess the house would be in after

For me I'd find being in a different environment like the hospital more relaxing because it would mean less things for me to worry about. As it's in a delivery ward rather than the cancer wing or surgical wing etc I wouldnt feel I was in the hospital for a medical procedure.

Pixxie I've had so many illnesses and bad health in the past that unfortunately I have quite a blase attitude to pain relief and have no problem taking it. For me I believe it was invented so we didnt have to feel pain or as intense pain IMO - just my own personal view of course (and I still think you girls are very brave and fab for doing it without) is that if there is an option to help with the pain then I don't want to be a martyr and I'd accept anything

xx

My house was left immaculate afterwards .. the MW's prided them selves on leaving everything as they found it if not better

 

[nikki-lou25]

No I didnt hun! where is it? would be lovely to read it xx

https://www.babyandbump.com/birth-stories-announcements/266237-my-dds-homebirth-story.html

There it is hun

My house was also immaculate I am more concerned this time about how I will fill up my birth pool and if I will actually like water

 

[TattiesMum]

For me it was the only way - I had given birth to my first child in our local hospital and there was NO WAY I was ever going back there again

Plus, even with my first, my entire active labout had only lasted for 4 hours and 2nd stage less than 20 minutes - I didn't have time for pain relief LOL, so I already knew I could cope without it.

It's funny - Tattie was the first of mine that I had at home .... she gave birth to Kaylum in the same maternity unit as I had her elder sister in - and as a result of her experience has sworn that she too will never set foot in there again - Her next one will be a Homie (I can't wait )

 

[summer rain]

Hi

For me I have so many close relatives who had bad reactions to the epidural and/or pethidine culminating in various interventions, that it's a risk I wouldn't be willingto take. I have short but very painful labours but at least I can keep myself going by telling myself it will be over soon. The reason I prefer home birth is because I had a hospital birth with my first two, my first experience was like something from the 50s, very medicalised and the midwives did many things which could have caused damage to me or my son, I didn't feel in control at any point. In that hospital most women have an epidural and many go onto have forceps or a c-section so they couldn't handle me, not being so predictable and insisting on only using gas and air. The second hospital was completely different but still, they did do things like insisting on putting a canula in my hand just in case, which I did not like at all.

I personally have no problem with gas and air and it works very well for me, so I don't think natural means all or nothing. I had a homebirth with my youngest and plan to do so again, my labours are so fast and sudden there is a risk baby may make an appearance before the midwives arrive, it almost happened last time. However I'd rather that than trying to get to hospital on the bus or something and it happen there.

Btw the midwives clean up everything, it's incredible.

 

[NIfirsttimer]

i just went into it with an open mind. I was determined to use the MLU rather than 'hospital' part of the maternity unit, as i knew i wanted minimal intervention (no needles or unneccessary meds & checks etc) so that was a big part of my pain relief plans, as there is only G&A, pethadine, which i defo didnt want, and the pool available there, and although the G&A was good in the earlier part of my labour, it just annoyed me at the end, so that was that! (i was begging for a general anaesthetic at transition lol)
Im really glad that I did it how i did.. i found a whole new respect for my body, and i loved how i was up & about straight away

 

[Nessicle]

thank you girls!!

I'm sorry some of you had a bad experience in your hospitals that mustnt have been fun it does put you off when you have those experiences I must admit. I've had operations at a hospital in Leeds where I'm from (albeit not giving birth - laparascopies) and I had horrible experiences so I can relate a bit!

I've just had two friends who've given birth at the different hospital I'm going to this time and I'm relieved they said they couldnt have had a better experience and the mw's were amazing etc so I'm quite relieved about that!

Nikki your homebirth sounded perfect hun! Well done I bet you were absolutely exhausted!! x

 

[Noodlejuice]

For me, it was actually fear that sent me down the natural path! When I went to the antenatal class five years ago and they ominously warned that epidurals increase the risk of forceps/ventouse and tearing, my bits all but crawled up into my stomach and I decided that I'd rather have the pain for the labour and NOT need stitches in my undercarriage. For some reason, the thought of tearing or being cut freaks me right out.

My first birth was actually pretty difficult - had her on a birth centre but didn't progress well, was exhausted, accepted pethidine so I could sleep, the midwife was threatening a move to delivery suite because I couldn't get my bean the hell out of there and she was in the birth canal for too long...but in the end I did it under my own power and, lo and behold, no tearing! Yay! I also liked the idea of being able to go home quickly afterwards rather than staying in hospital...unfortunately I was moved to the ward as they couldn't get a paediatrician to check H over, which was ultimately a horrible horrible experience (unusual, I hasten to add - most people get on fine on the wards!)

With my son, I DEFINITELY still wanted the fast discharge and made no secret of the fact that they could stuff their ward, I wasn't going there unless there was a very good reason...unavailable paediatricians wouldn't cut it. I was also scared of tearing again...luckily this time I had the perfect birth; no pain relief at all throughout, not even gas and air, then a birthing pool and some g&a to push, which only lasted about ten minutes.

This time...same reasons. Not so noble, I'm afraid...I just ain't going onto that ward without good reason ever again!

 

[Mincholada]

many reasons combined for me... i always didn't think much of hospital births, epidurals and scheduled c-sections (unless really needed). then when i got pregnant, i was without health insurance which means i have to pay everything regarding my pregnancy related medical care out of my own pocket. i was looking for OB/GYNs and hospitals and what it would cost me and it was basically not affordable for me at costs of $10.000 and above.

i remembered a billboard ad i had seen when i first moved to florida that was advertising a birth center and so i looked into that and with $4.000 costs that looked way more affordable.

well, i got my first appointment, went there and felt "at home". i first met the OB/GYN that started that birth center and he went over my options with me. we could do the birth in a hospital as he's licensed to do so (but meaning higher costs) or i could transfer over to the head-midwife who also started the birth center in a joint partnership with him. hospital at that point was already not on my list. i absolutely dislike the american health system (being spoiled from germany's health system) and every minute of me taking up a hospital bed would mean loss of profits for the hospital so they tend to rush things and that's when it comes to drugs and c-sections and i knew that's not what i want.

i want to do this in my own terms and time. the birth center has three lovely bedrooms with bathtubs and it's a nice atmosphere. they have a kitchen, i'm supposed to bring my own food and should roam around as i please when the big day comes.

i met the midwife several weeks after my initial visit and although quite surprised that she is wheelchair-bound, i feel comfortable around her. there will be student midwifes there as well which i'm not opposed to, as everybody needs to learn some way and i'm happy that there are people who choose this profession to stand against the rise of all-drugged up hospital births and convenience c-sections. i don't judge people who choose to get all drugs they can. i just know that if i am able to do this on my own unless some kind of complication arises, i will do this on my own. the hospital is like 5 minutes away from the birth center and the doctor of the birth center is the option on stand-by if intervention is necessary. that gives me extra peace of mind!

i try to watch as many videos on youtube about natural births as possible. it shows me again and again that it can be done, that it must not involve a lot of stress and screaming and that strengthens my mind to just do what i was created to do i'm actually excited about it and to see how my body will do this first time labor, if it will be long or short and how my pain threshold will be. however, baby's safety also comes first and if the midwife says, i'll have to be transferred to the hospital, then i sh*t on all the extra $$$ that will mean and just do what i'm told

 

[Janiepops]

I had a pretty rubbish first labour/birth where I was completely out of control, was offered everything going, 'coached' throughout the pushing stage, then told that a ventouse would be needed - yet I managed to push him out myself! My aftercare was pants too, I wasn't even given the chance to BF, he was taken by a nurse and bottle fed! 2 long days in hospital afterwards too, and I hate being in!
I didn't actually make the decision to have a home birth until quite late on in my last pregnancy. The thought had always been there, so I started to do my research, looking at the way hospital births seemed to lead to intervention after intervention, like my previous birth. I also wanted the use of water, but this wasn't guaranteed as there was only 1 pool for 3 wards!
I didn't want my labour managed in any way, being told when I could or couldn't push, I have the thought that it's my body, it's made to give birth, so who is a third person to tell me what to do?!?!?!
I had a great deal of apprehension regarding the pain, as I had had G&A, diamorphine and an epidural last time round, but was willing just to use the water and G&A IF I needed it. I also knew that if there was to be any complication, I wouldn't hesitate in getting in an ambulance right away. But I had definite points on my birth plan about how I wanted things done!
Turns out I managed without any pain relief at all, not even the pool as there wasn't time to get in!
I wouldn't hesitate in having another home birth, and I am amazed at what the body can do. And some people may shoot me for this, but it actually wasn't THAT painful! You never know for sure until you're actually there doing it, and don't be surprised if you find you cope really well! I'm a wimp when it comes to pain normally lol x

 

[Noodlejuice]

Janiepops...I've been contemplating a home birth rather than birth centre for this bubs; you've made me decide to look into it further. I had g&a/pethidine with my first, nothing for the whole labour then g&a and a water birth with my second (and that was fantastic)...I don't know quite what's frightening me about a homebirth over birth centre, but I'd love the guarantee of a birthing pool...hmm, think my m/w may get a call to discuss before my next appt!

 

[wild2011]

I have 3 dd's , also currently 5 weeks pregnant. I had my first in hospital, second in an ambulance so planned third at home, the odds of me having a long labour were slim, therefore i would of only been able to have gas and air for pain relief, it made sense to have her at home, rather than worrying about making it to the hospital, it turned out to be my longest, but was only hour and half, i was relaxed, 2 midwifes to myself, kids tucked up in bed and dh on hand, i must say was the best experience i have ever had, i recommend it to anyone i ever meet that asks about it, and i plan on having another home birth this time round. an experiance i will cherish forever.

 

[SwissMiss]

I went into my first labour with a really open mind. It didn't exactly START how I wanted (I was offered induction at nearly 42wks and was so fed up of being pg that I took it - REALLY hope to go on my own this time!!!), but the rest was perfect. The only drugs I had was the 1/4 pessary needed to get things going and after that I did it without a thing (they don't hv G&A here).
I think my main reason was curiosity! Sounds silly but I really wasn't afraid of the pain, more anxious to see what it was like, what 'all the fuss' was about so to speak winkwink and I wanted to really EXPERIENCE labouring, esp since she was my first. I did it in hospital b/c for all that I wanted 'natural' I also wanted to be near all the medical advances available IF NEED BE. I don't even know if they do/allow/have a policy on home births here (I'm in Switzerland) and tbh couldn't be asked to do the research. They are VERY VERY 'au natural' here as it is (its the herbal-tea-for-everything- country!! ) so I wasn't at all afraid of drugs being pushed on me even though I was in a hospital.
They also have FAB birthing beds that go into all kinds of positions and they let you move about/deal with the pain freely as you are comfortable, you can dim the lights, they have a birthing pool (only one though but still), you can put your own music on, its a really cozy setting, you don't feel in hospital AT ALL. That's the entire Swiss healthcare system, the hospitals are like 5-star hotels in comparison to in Canada!!!
The only intervention is to monitor bubs' hb every once in a while. I spent 2/3 of my labour on all fours or hanging off the bed...

Anyway, all that to say, I agree with what most of the ladies have said about mind over matter. I was always always taught to listen to and trust your body, and that's what labouring was about for me, and it was the BEST experience of my life! I can't WAIT to do it again!!!