What % of time is taken up with your LO?

[sonny]

Just wondering how much time is taken up with your LO's?
some days it feels i dont get a chance to do anything what with feeding,meds,spotting tired signs and putting to sleep,bath,wash,getting changed,placing around various playmats/chairs,washing,pumping for meds,sterilising etc etc
Then throw in my 2 stepsons...school runs,feeding,dinners,lunchboxes,homework,baths,washing,keeping amused as they always say "im bored im bored" what is it with kids now that they have a whole room of toys they never play with! Anyway also throw in a BF who knows you have just hoovered and washed the floor and proceeds to wipe crumbs onthe floor from the kitchen sideboard and takes lazy short cuts on everything he does.....

So i think my life is 95% all that and only 5% me
Really upset at the mo as this is not what i wanted to be doing when i had my first baby! Its like sometimes i dont get the enjoyment parts as im trying to run around doing everything else.
Its to the point also that i cant leave BF with Tabs as a few times she has started to choke or distressed cry and he doesnt even respond! I have to have a quick bath when i know boys are in bed and Tabs is asleep downstairs and BF is on the computer....even then its a quick 5 mins job and out as i dont trust him to respond to her and when she crys sometimes he doesnt know what to do so i cant relax in the bath or do whatever i want to do. He also knows her feed times but never takes the initiative to go make a bottle/get meds ready etc.
Sorry wasnt meant to be a rant but just wondering how much time everyone else gets?

 

[LaDY]

Aww bless you hunny...im so sorry that you feel like this. I only have my little bubs and that is bad enough...i spend 3 quarters of my day in baby land...when he sleeps it is a relief...as i love a bit of me time...have you spoken to anyone about this?? Maybe tell your bf how you feel?? im lucky as i have no family support yet my OH really helps...after all it is a 2 way thing hun...lots of love

 

[Serene123]

None. I can't even have a bath without her screaming. The only time I get to myself is when she's sleeping and that means I have to do washing or bottles or something else.. It gets me down too but it won't be forever!

 

[leeanne]

Days as a mother and wife can be very busy. Have to say that sometimes I don't feel like I am enjoying Chase as much as I should. Piles of washing, two other kids, 3 stepkids here every second weekend, school runs, cooking, grocery shopping, then add all that with helping run our businesses.

We are supermom!

Definitely have a chat with your OH honey. He should be helping out ESPECIALLY when you are taking care of his other kids.

 

[Vickie]

I'm pretty lucky, Stan's very involved with Hannah (of course I'm bottlefeeding so that makes a difference). Even than a lot of my day is spent with her or doing things for her (still working on the daytime nap thing )

 

[reallytinyamy]

well i straightened my hair at midnight last night- for the first time since she was born!!

 

[1st_baby]

The only time I get to myself is when hes sleeping

 

[Carolyn]

i'm thinking of chucking some formula feeds into our day for this reason, i don't know why but my oh 'watches' her very little...

 

[Margerle]

I know how you feel sonny.

My husband works full time at a stressful job and brings the majority of our income, so I try to make sure he gets a lot of 'down' time.

This leaves me with all the chores you mention above- though I have to give my DH credit, he is very considerate of my cleaning, and being tidy.

I also work full time away from home. I'm lucky that I bring LO with me most days - and days that it's not possible, I have my mother watch her for a few hours.

Though I have my 12 yo daughter that is a BIG HELP!

Is there some local nice young lady around 12-15 yo that you could pay a few dollars an hour to to be a mommy's helper? Just having someone there to hold baby and pay attention to her while you hurry through daily chores is a MASSIVE help to me.

Having her come for a couple hours after school a few times a week might be just the ticket for your sanity! It wouldn't have to be but for a few months until LO is more able to keep herself entertained for longer periods of time, and isn't quite so fragile so BF can look after her better.

Might this also be an option for you leanne?

 

[Angelica]

Dont have much time for myself either!
My DH is great too as he is great with the princess but then like someone else mentioned when shes with daddy thats when im washing up, sterlising or doing something else...
Quick bath at the end of the day & im happy!!

 

[CK Too]

It all depends on how my DH is working. Some days he is out of the house at 8.30am and gets back at 9pm, so its pretty much full on, I don´t have any family nearby at all, so its just me and Sam.

Other days, if my DH gets back early from work, ie 7pm, then he´ll take over bathtime and his last feed etc, so I can cook with both hands for a change and do other bits and pieces. I have to admit its not always stuff for me that I do though.

At weekends, then we share out childcare and housework etc and try and make sure that both of us have a bit of me time - doesn´t always work out that way though. I have to admit I do try and do a lot of the housework and cooking etc seeing as though DH has been at work all day - but he does do his bit. I left Sam on his own with DH the other day, whilst I went to the hairdressers and did some shopping - he had the decency to admit afterwards that being at home all day with a baby is the same as a fulltime job!

 

[sonny]

Definitely have a chat with your OH honey. He should be helping out ESPECIALLY when you are taking care of his other kids.

Well Bf got home from work and the look on his face wondering where his dinner was really got to me.....he then proceeded to cook for himself....nothing for me and the boys as he has to eat then an hour free from food before his training.
Well Tabs has been particulally (sp) clingy today and really touchy so i asked BF not to do his weight training(away from home) tonight please as i wont be able to do it all.He goes 4 times a week for an hour and a half....it used to be 5 times before Tabs came along and he thinks that is compromising.....he basically said "no im still doing my training!" I said ok well do it when the boys are in bed and Tabs is asleep please and when everything is done and he wasn't having any of it,he said i knew what i signed up for! I left my family and friends behind on the mainland for this! i have no family or friends here and his mother hasn't ever even seen Tabs although spends time with the boys!
Anyway we had a big argument and he says thats it the relationship is over. I said fine....move out as he thinks he has more right to this house than i have (we only rent) I dont know what to do now. I have had enough living here with everything....all i want to do is have time to enjoy my baby.

Even when Tabs was in special care he would always go home early to go and do his training.
As it is now i didnt buy his chicken fillets....get this he eats around 4000 calories a day...mostly made up of chicken breast fillets....fish portions.....rice portions and jacket potatoes.....he says he needs it because of his training....he also has about 4 protein drinks(very expensive about 100 pounds a month!) a day and takes zma which im sure makes him more aggressive but he wont stop he just keeps increasing his protein content without a care that we cannot afford it. I cant even afford a coat as last years one is a little too small now im dreading winter!
Sorry to go on but i dont know what to do.The closest person i have to talk to is my sis but she is in switzerland

 

[Margerle]

....it used to be 5 times before Tabs came along and he thinks that is compromising.....he basically said "no im still doing my training!" I said ok well do it when the boys are in bed and Tabs is asleep please and when everything is done and he wasn't having any of it,he said i knew what i signed up for! I left my family and friends behind on the mainland for this! i have no family or friends here and his mother hasn't ever even seen Tabs although spends time with the boys!

This would have been the straw for me.

You are not his nanny, nor his chef, nor his laundress, nor his butler or secretary. You are his 'better half', his companion, his partner in this life. That is what you 'signed up for'.

It also sounds like he's not going to change.

I'd go back home if it were me.

But I understand your predicament, and have loads of hugs and prayers for you whatever you decide.


You're a great mom, and a great woman.

 

[Serene123]

If you are so unhappy why are you putting up with it? You obviously deserve someone who wants what you want.

 

[Vickie]

That's horrible. TBH I wouldn't put up with crap like that. A baby is BOTH parents responsibility, let alone his own boys who he should be taking care of!!

 

[nikky0907]

I get no time away.

It doesn't bother me so far,cause she's very young.
The only times I get some time is when she naps or I put her in her bouncer chair.Shes quite a good baby,doesn't cry nearly at all.
But still,when you live alone you have no one to hand her to for even a minute.