What readings/poems are you having ?

[Lauren25]

We have decided we are going to have two, I want a fun one and then I really want one about being a family, like already having children but I can't find one! Any ideas ?

But our fun one we are either having -

Yes, I'll marry you, my dear, and here's the reason why;
So I can push you out of bed when the baby starts to cry,
And if we hear a knocking and it's creepy and it's late,
I hand you the torch you see, and you investigate.

Yes I'll marry you, my dear, you may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble-drier goes it's you that has to mend it,
You have to face the neighbour should our labrador attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me it's you that has to whack him.

Yes, I'll marry you, You're virile and you're lean,
My house is like a pigsty you can help to keep it clean.
That sexy little dinner which you served by candlelight,
As I do chipolatas, you can cook it every night!

It's you who has to work the drill and put up curtain track,
And when I've got PMT it's you who gets the flak,
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you, and so before you see the light,
I do, I do, I do!

Or

If you go to a wedding, here’s what it means
No one wears trainers and no one wears jeans
Your best new clothes are all that you wear
And everyone in your whole family is there
Even some cousins that you’ve never known
And the grown-ups all say “Oh, how much you have grown!”
So everyone’s sitting in one big room
(except Sally and Richard, the bridge and groom)
Then all of a sudden things quieten down
And music starts playing and people turn round
And really slowly, Sally walks in
And she’s prettier now than she’s ever been.

She’s a bridge and she’s really great looking today
(when normally she looks just kind of okay)
She walks in and stands with her dad for a while
As Richard her boyfriend, awaits in the aisle
His hair is all combed and he’s wearing a tie
And then Sally’s mum starts to sniffle and cry.

And now it comes time for the “get-married” part
The Registrar says that we’re ready to start
So she talks and she talks about serious things
Then their friend Chris steps up holding two rings
He gives one to the groom and the other to the bride
Then his girlfriend, Janaki pulls him aside.

Then Sally and Richard kind of look at each other
And another big sniffle comes from Sally’s mother
And Sally and Richard put on the wedding rings
And they talk and they promise each other some things
They promise that they’ll love each other a lot
And help one another no matter what
And be with each other the rest of their life
Then the Registrar says “Now you are husband and wife”.

Then everyone’s in such a big happy mood
And you go to a party with very much food
Where you dance with some grown-ups and drink some wine
And then do a conga-dance in one long line
‘till Sally and Richard drive off in a car
and everyone’s thinking how happy they are
So we all yell goodbye and throw handfuls of rice
Then the whole thing is over. Weddings are nice

What are you all having ?

 

[Mummy May]

I like those! I prefer the top one for my wedding though I'm not sure what were allowed since were having a church wedding. I bought a brooch for myself with good old corinthians in it so I may just end up going for that if the church don't like funny stories I keep watching other peoples journals to steal though! xx

 

[lozzy21]

Were having that first one.