What should i do??

[Imi]

We are getting maddie christened in june ... hopefully the first sunday of the month at the church next to my mums.

I've asked the god parents and they have accepted so we are over the moon but the problem i have is this:

My mum and dad are divorced, it doesn't bother my mum, she an her partner are happy and get on with it ... its my dad and his side of the family who have / are being petty and have been since the day they split (nearly 8 years ago ffs)

the plan is that we are going to get maddie christened then all go back to mums for a big BBQ and party ... kids can play and adults can chill and have a laugh ... very informal, music, markee (SP) Bar etc ...

Im inviting my dad and his partner but i i know for a fact they won't come to the after do if it's at my mums but to be perfectly honest ... i don't even think he is gonna come to the church or my aunts and uncles or my nan cause my mum is going.

Yes they really are THAT pathetic ... my dad got maddie beach towles for xmas ffs ...

but what do i do ... invite them and wait to get a slap in the face? or change the venue for afterwards even though they proberbly won't come anyways?? (to church or party?)

If any of my dads lot come to the church anyway i will be surprised, but its still very upsetting ... i just wish they would all fucking grow up!

My dad really would cut his nose off to spite his face and they really won't come so i know im setting myself up for a fall, Do i leave things as i would like them or cause myself more expense for no reason?

My father really is willing to let his daughter and granddaughter down like this and so are the restof that side of the family ... if she was a boy it would all be different ...

Help!


xxx

 

[Suz]

Imi,

I think this is a big deal for your family. You need to do what you want. If your dad is going to ack immature, than its his loss. Plan it your way and dont worry about your dad. It will be his choice to attend or miss out on a once in a life event for his granddaughter.

 

[Wobbles]

Ask him straight up Imi BEFORE you start planning ... will he come or will he not - if he says no then it's his lose if he says yes make it quite clear hes not to waste you time & money. I would be as sharp as that if I felt I was in for a let down.

Its your daughters day one she will enjoy & you guys along with family & friends. I wouldn't let anyone ruin that day not even a punk

 

[Cat]

I say stick to your plans. Ican understand him perhaps feeling uncomfortable about going to your mums afterwards, but perhaps at the time of inviting him suggest that if he would rather you could go out for a meal with him the following night or something. That way he can still attend the ceremony on neutral teratory, but if he is still being silly and doesnt want to do that, well thats his problem not yours.

 

[Trinity]

I agree with wobbles .. ask him if he would come and if he says no then you dont need to worry about changing venues or anything. You should just do what you want to anyway .. and other people should fit in round you. But i know it doesnt always work that way. Hope you get it sorted hun

 

[Imi]

I've spoken to god parents and my OH about this an they are all in agreement that because te chruch is 40secs walk from my mums he won't even come neither will the rest of them.

Stupid thing is im afraid to ask ....

But i don't want to offend my mum as she wanted the garden party for her granddaughter and as she is the grandparent who bothers i don't see why i should let her down ...

But then my dad is my dad ....

Oh fffs ....
xxx

 

[Imi]

*UPDATE*

Have now decided (after talking to OH, Mum and Godparents) that we are gonna postpone it until next yr and have the girls christened together and hopefuly by then we will have managed to sort something out with my dad and his lot!

Grrrrr really don't need it all right now tbh ....

PARENTS GRRRRRRRR
xxx

 

[hypnorm]

thats a shame but maybe you can make it on big day for both the girls and hopefully the 'grown ups' can put away their pettiness for a couple of hours for the sake of the grand kids.

familes! can't live with em can't live without em half the time!

 

[LynnieH]

Give me sometime to lose some weight!

 

[Imi]

You don't need to but i will lol!

xxx