what the hell!

[vaniilla]

I had to post this as I want to see what others say, maybe I'm losing the plot and not seeing things properly, I met up with a girl who I used to go to high school with as she lives 15mins train journey away from my new place,

and it turns out her and her oh are ttc which I was like great to at first, then she said that the moment she gets pregnant both her and her bf are quitting work as they don't want to work once baby is here.... I asked how will they provide for him/her and they'll just be depending on benefits as they don't want to miss out on them growing up, is it just me that thinks this is ridiculous!?!?!

 

[vinteenage]

Uh yeah, that's ridiculous.

I mean it's great that they both want to be involved in the baby's life however if they're only on relying on benefits they're creating a situation where there baby will probably have to miss out on a lot of things because of finances. It also seems like they're using the system.

She should quit work, and then her boyfriend should talk to his boss well in advanced and see about getting some type of leave.

 

[lynne192]

hey lose who can do. but if they drop work then wont get benifits until the baby is born and even then if they are a couple its nothing compared to her claiming as a single parent so one of them will need to work or even benifits wont be enough.

 

[vaniilla]

I tried explaining the finance side of it but she was convinced that there would be enough money for it she's convinced that kids don't need a lot of money to take out and won't miss out on anything, I couldn't really say much else as I didn't want to look like I was telling her what to do

 

[vinteenage]

That's very sad.

OH and I won't have income coming in once Finn is here (OH goes to school full time and will have an hour commute, and I'll need to home with Finn obviously!) so we'll be relying completely on our parents and any savings we're able to pull together before then. We will get help with food through WIC and such, but I can't imagine anyone choosing this when it's possible for them to have a steady income!

 

[lynne192]

if she wants enough for her and baby too survive on then she will have to leave him and claim as a single parent and then he would still have to work, benifts will only be give to single parents because of course its harder for single person with small child to work, but if there are a couple in the house they will expect one to work and then will top it up with working tax credit. benifits are all changing as well so in the next 8-12months benifits will all be different and might be less, plus if she's under 18 then she will get even less, i am in my 20's so get more money, but even then its minimal, i want to work but my son has behavioural and learning disablities so he has appointments all the time which no employer would put up with he starts nursery in 2 weeks and if he gets on good gonna try get nightshift work

a couple get less money and wont be enough, i get £133 a week i think and that bearly covers, food, gas electricity, phone and council tax etc, if i need to buy nappies its a poor week cause they are sooooo expensive and the milk can be like £9 a tin sometimes, which is madness as it lasts like 3days. then wipes, washing power, bottles, thats only for the baby, if she gets pregnant and quicks work she wont get anymoney until she is 29ish weeks so she will be pennyless, if her partner quits work he will be lucky to get job seekers but they will more than likely refuse as he doesn;t have cause for leaving his job, he will be unlikely to be awared anymoney what so ever, the jobcentre will back this up as well as CAB

https://www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_search.aspx

 

[stephx]

Oh lord

Im sorry but no-one should be TTC on benefits

xx

 

[stephx]

And her OH will have to stay on JSA once the baby is born... so will need to prove he is activley seeking work, which is doesnt sound like hes planning to do

And if you quit your job you cant claim for 6 weeks, I guess they have savings for surviving that

Im sorry but it doesnt sound like a very good plan!

xx

 

[becca'&bump]

That is ridiculous!

No one should TTC, and then live off of benefits.. its like having a baby just so that they get benefits!
Frustrating!


x

 

[vaniilla]

I agree, its an awful plan but she doesn't think so I really don't understand though how she came up with the idea, she always seemed like a sensible person to me but she thinks benefits will be enough, I don't know what cuts they will do to them but its likely that through recession there will be less, I know people that don't work but they live with their parents (not through age but just lazy) but living on your own without a job,trying for a baby, I don't get it, why would anyone do that?!?!?

 

[Tanara]

I think that is rediculous, my OH may go on EI for a bit, since the work he does means he gets laid off in Dec rehired in Mar, but hes undecied he may just get an indoor job during the winter.

 

[Sophiiie]

They're really lucky to have jobs with the way things are at the moment, seems insane to give them up x

 

[Lea21]

I rely on benefits as OH only works part time as he is ill, and its still hard with half a wage coming in

 

[Youngling]

It annoys me how some people use their children to get benefits.
Im on maternity leave at the mo and OH works full time but I bet they will still be better off then we are. We struggle every month
xx

 

[LoolaBear]

omg that is such a stupid thing to do. i work full time, have working tax and child tax as well as child benefit coming and i still struggle! thankfully wont be for much longer thats why we decided to have another baby as before the baby is born we would have paid our unpaid back rent so will then be able to just afford another baby and complete our family.
but to just quit work as they dont want to miss out on anything and survive on benefits is stupid. i know so many people living on benefits who struggle so bad and thats without children! i work full time and dont miss out on anything that my children do. ive been there for their first crawl, first stand, first word, first tooth. ive not missed out on a thing and i work 42 hours a week!
and if they are that worried about missing out then why cant her partner work night shifts?! if he found somewhere he could work 6-2 he can still get a good sleep but then be up during the day to spend time with his partner and child. then they will still gain tax credits and child benefit and would be so much better off.
do they not realise exactly how much a child costs??!!
this has angered me in a way as they are both capable of working as they do currently both work but will both leave work to live off benefits that my taxes i pay contribute towards just because they feel they will miss out?!?!?!? i work for my children if i had the money and the choice i would stay ot home but i dont but i work so i can support my family and childrenjust for them to think its ok to try and scrounge off the benefit system as they think they will miss out?!? (thats not a dig at anyone on benefits as i do know how hard it can be to find work and also for single mums as i do have friends who are single parents its just people who feel its ok to just give up work just like that and live off tax payers money for no decent reason at all, so please i am not trying to have a go or offend im just stating that i dislike people who do it for no reason at all, so so so sorry if i offended anyone)
bit of a rant there, sorry. i think you need to sit your friend down and show her exactly how hard it would be, perhaps show her the site whatamientitledto.com, i think thats the site anyway, and then give her a break down of costs for a child and show her that on benefits she just would not afford it at all so one of them would have to work to afford a child. or show her this thread about how hard it will be and how much of a struggle it is even with working parents and not just on the benefit system. xx

 

[LoolaBear]

sorry my computers on a go slow and wont let me edit my previous post.

this is my break down of an average weekly shop for one baby:
in a 7 day period if not breast feeding there is a possiblity of 1 tin of formula every 2-3 days so roughly 2 1/2-3 tins a week at £8 each x3 = £24
nappies - they say to help reduce risk of nappy rash to change bums at least 8-12 times a day so thats 84 nappies a week at least so thats £12 to give you a few extras in case of exploding poos
baby wipes for said exploding poos you will need to stock up on wipes, decent wipes that dont fall apart on you are about £1 a packet so i would say £5 a week for wipes
then theres all other extras like clothes, toys, bedding which can be roughly about another £10 a week
extra electric needed for a baby (im on a pay as you go meter) and i pay an extra £10 a week electric (dont have gas) to fuel extra things needed for babies like steriliser, tv programmes, music, night light.
water we pay an extra £6 a week

so for one baby your looking at an extra £70 (rounded up for emergancies and a bit extra added for a few baby luxuries if you want to treat your baby) a week which is about an extra £280 a month on top of all other house hole chores and bills like phone, internet, usual electric, food.

her partner wont get any benefits as the job centre will refuse to accept his application for JSA as he wouldve given up his job for no plausable reason (i used to work part time for the job centre and know that this is the case) and he wont be entitled to anything else, and as a couple she will probably only get around (with a baby) £110 a week (but thats going by someone whos 21) so if shes younger she will probably get less, if she ditched him she would probably get an extra £100 a month and thats it. child benefit is only roughly about £20 a week. if she gave up work as soon as she found out she was pregnant she wouldnt be entitled to JSA as she wouldnt have a plausable reason to give up work, so wouldnt get a penny until she was 29 weeks.

i think you really need to show her this post. just say your not telling her what she can and cant do just felt as a friend you wanted to show her the reality of living off benefits with a baby and that it is actually harder then she thinks and if she still feels she will be ok afterwards then at least you have warned her. xx

 

[baby.moo]

I think they will wake up really quick when the benefits just arn't enough.

 

[vaniilla]

its not really as simple as that, we're not close enough for me to tell her what she's doing is wrong for it to not seem like I'm intruding, only her oh is working atm and they get help from their parents with money, but even so I don't think it will be enough, its ridiculous she really does think its going to be great, she said she knew people that were living on benefits and they were getting by alright, when I was on the ttc part of the forum there were a few other couples that had the same plan - neither to work even when lo is born so its not an odd one out, I wish they would think it through though

 

[Pixxie]

muppets

A girl I went to school with did this, I saw her about a year later hammered in the town centre with her baby boy in his pram and she begged me to take him off her because she couldnt look after him any more...

 

[aob1013]

That's disgusting and it's why people on benefits have such a bad name.

I hope while they have that attitude, a baby isn't brought into their world.