What to ask at appointment *UPDATED*

[Mrs R]

Another one of these posts lol We all have a little panic before a much waited on FS appointment and need advice on what to ask

Appointment on Tuesday after being given 3 months to loose weight before FSH injections will be considered. Have already completed 5 cycles of clomid. I definitely have not lost a significant amount of weight as requested, but I'm only human after all (and have PCOS). Have lost a little.

Hubby and I are 99% sure we'll be sent away empty handed for another few months, but we have booked an IVF consultation at a private clinic as we're not prepared to wait on the NHS any longer. I am really nervous / dreading this!!

Do you think we should tell our NHS consultant about this or just keep it to ourselves?

Any other suggestions of what we need to ask?

 

[Jane1972]

Hi Mrs R
Didn't want to read & run.
I wouldn't tell them straight away about private appoinment you dont know what they might say & after you've been to the private appointment you can have a re think with all the info. (hope that made sense?)
Just wondered about your BMI, I know the hospital I went to wouldn't do IVF on NHS if it was above 30, but did offer help with weight loss.
Good luck hun

 

[reallyready]

If I were in your shoes I definitely wouldn't tell the state health care about your plan for a private visit. I would think it is none of their business really. Good luck with your appt and I hope you get the answers you are looking for.
xxx

 

[maz]

I wouldn't tell the RFC at the moment ... you are allowed to have up to three private treatments and still qualify for your NHS one, but if you have 4 or more then you aren't eligible for NHS treatment. I would only tell them if they want to give you medication in another few months time.

As Jane1972 said, I think the cut off BMI for stimming drugs is 30 - if you're above this then they may well use this as an excuse to not take things further at this stage. If that is the case, tell them what you've tried in an effort to lose weight, but that it hasn't worked as well as hoped, and ask for their help.

Good luck for tuesday.

 

[Oneday]

Hi Mrs R
good luck with ur private appointment. I'm waiting for mine, I have been refered by my nhs consultant as I have a child and my bmi is 35 so they won't fund ivf. I didn't really feel like I was shown the door by the nhs though she is doing all the tests I need she can on the nhs and wants to remove my tubes before ivf to prevent another ectopic I am really against this as it will involve open surgery. Where r going for ur consultation? I wants to ask then their opinions on the tube remval versus ectopic and whether I am a good candidate. You will need to go armed with your hubbys sperm results are your baseline blood levels fsh I think. Good Luck let us know how u get on x

 

[Mrs R]

Thanks for the advice girls.

My BMI is 29 and they never offered me any help with losing weight. I am losing it very very slowly but it's so disheartening when you're as good as gold all week, go to the gym 3 times and take the dog for 7 walks, and the scale only drops by half a pound!

RFC have told me they will give me a copy of my latest blood results when I go for my appointment, and will prob want to know what they're for. DH and I have a joint appointment with our G.P on Wednesday to discuss our IVF route (to see if G.P thinks we are mad!), and to see if she can help with blood tests etc.

I'm off to wrap myself in cling-film and go and sit in a sauna at the local swimming pool for the next 2 days..................

 

[Jane1972]

Good luck Mrs R. Looks like your on track with the weight loss it is very hard esp when you try so hard & only have to look at something fattening & 2 weeks of work are down the drain.

 

[Mrs R]

Oh God I'm so nervous about my appointment, only 11 and a half hours to go. Tomorrow we can make all our decisions about IVF, telling our families etc. Going to be a big scary day, but we both have to go straight back to work after so all discussions will have to wait til tea-time!!

I'm not going to get a wink of sleep tonight!!

 

[glitterqueen]

Hi
Just to let you know I will be thinking about you tomorrow loads of luck stand your ground and ask everything! don't let them hurry you out the door until you are satisfied
Really wish you all the best x x x

 

[reallyready]

Good luck tomorrow Mrs. R!
I'll be thinking of you.
xoxox RR

 

[Justme]

Hi hun,wanted to wish you lots of luck for your appointment tomorrow.I wouldnt mention to them that you are looking into private ivf either.What BMI do they want you to get down to?? I wouldnt have thought a BMI of 29 was that bad anyways x

 

[Mrs R]

Thanks girls, you're the best.

Sarah, I didn't think a bmi of 29 was too bad either but now I just feel like a monster!! I suppose resources are so limited on the NHS that they have to put limitations on it somewhere.

2 and a half hours to go.....I've been up since 6am whereas i usually struggle to drag myself out of bed at 7.30am.... I've even told DH what to wear to look 'professional' and bless him, he put it on without any arguments because he knows I'm on edge!

Will let you know what happens when I get in this evening xx

 

[maz]

Good luck Mrs R ... I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Re your request for your blood results ... they're your results so why shouldn't you have a copy??? I'm sure they'll realise that you're looking elsewhere, and you never know, it might make them realise that you're serious about getting help, and give them a boot up the arse into helping you.

xx

 

[lioness168]

I wouldn't think that a BMI of 29 would be a problem. Good luck with your appointment Mrs R! Am interested in how you went. I have an IVF appointment on Wed 30/09, looking forward to it.

 

[Justme]

How did you get on hun? Popped over to see how it went for you x

 

[Mrs R]

Hi girls, I typed in an update yesterday and then my internet lost connection so I gave up.

I'll give you the short version of events...

Seen our F.S on Tuesday and amazingly enough he agreed to give me the injections. Then he dropped the bomb shell - there is a 7 month waiting list for the injections! WTF???????????

He told me I would begin treatment around Easter next year. We were guted to say the least! He told us we could go private to speed up the process. So we left feeling pretty crap TBH.

I phoned the the only private clinic we have here in N.I, only to be told their waiting list is the same length!!

So we visited our G.P on Wednesday, basically just to see if she thought the idea of private IVF at this stage was mad. I managed to get one sentence out before I starting balling my eyes out!! I cried so much I couldn't even talk and DH had to tell her what was wrong with me!

She was lovely and so understanding. She said that if we could afford he treatment, then why would we wait another year on the NHS. I told her DH has reservations about IVF as he is worried that IVF babies are more likely to have health problems. She said she had quite a few IVF babies on her books and they are all perfectly healthy. This satisfied him a little.

She also offered to put us in touch with coupes in our local area who have been through IVF. We declined and told her we hadn't even told our family yet. She urged me to tell my family, especially as Im finding it so difficult to deal with.

She agreed to write the referral to the private clinic and said she would do any blood tests she could on the NHS. She said any tests she couldn't do, she would find out how much they cost privately here so as we would have them ready when we go for our consultation.

On top of this, she also asked me if I've been offered any help with my weight loss. She said she knows metformin is used in America for weight loss and PCOS, but it's not common over here. She said she would research it and phone me in a few days to tell me what she'd found out.

So all in all, this was a very positive appointment. I felt so relieved just letting it all out. And she's also going out of her way to help us.

Today, all our paper work arrived from Manchester (yippee!!) and we've got our flights all booked to go at the end of the month so it's full steam ahead!

With regards to telling my family, tomorrow is the big day lol. My mum has been working the last few evenings so it hasn't been possible. We'll tell DH's parents on Saturday.

Phew, I'm tired even thinking about all that!

 

[glitterqueen]

Mrs R
I am delighted you got at least a little bit of positivity! I was at FS today as well and he basically told me to go to Origin as the royal would be at least a yer-didn't offer anything else and I forgot to ask bout fsh injections or even clomid-might just ask my GP?
The FS guys are brutal aren't they Being in NI I can totally sympathise with thr fact we have not a lot of choice
Anyway I have posted on older ladies ttc just looking foe a bit of advice on where to go from here so confused!
Good luck x

 

[Steph63]

Oh hun, what a couple of days you have had!

I'm glad your gp was so supportive and Manchester is all systems go, at least that is something positive for you to focus on. What date is your apt? We are really seriously looking at going there too so can't wait to hear what you think about it.

The Royal is just a nightmare - nuff said!

Big keep us updated xxx

 

[Mrs R]

Just finished telling our families our ttc story!!

Told my parents last night and DH's today. Everyone was very shocked but very supportive. DH's parents have also offered to pay for everything! But thankfully we've been saving and can afford this ourselves but it's nice to know there is a back-up plan.

A problem shared really is a problem halved

 

[maz]

Mrs R - I'm so pleased you had a positive appointment and your GP sounds great. I can't wait to hear how things go in Manchester and I really hope things start earlier than Easter. Good luck hun.

xx