What to do about work?!

[rm16]

Hi everyone
I've made it to just over 8 weeks...terrified every day. Last time (my first) I had a MMC at 11 weeks and we found out the baby died somewhere between 8-9 weeks. Of course this means I am totally freaked out this week, even more scared to move than usual!
I'm a dance teacher, and through the pregnancy so far have made up an excuse about injury so I wouldn't have to dance, but last week I had half term and it was so fantastic to be able to hide away at home. I get a lot of hassle from unsympathetic people (funnily enough my adult students are the worst!) who just want me to be on my feet and teach them. I have been teaching from a chair which works surprisingly ok. although of course it isn't as good for them as when I'm doing everything full out. They constantly moan when they see me sitting and demand to know 'when I'll be better'. I just can't be standing and jumping around for 6 hours non stop each day, I did it last time and have never forgiven myself.
On top of all this I have some meetings this week that I know will stress me out.
I am so so tempted to just call in sick and hide away for a few days. I am not suffering too badly from symptoms though, just mega tired and always feel a bit rubbish mid afternoon (just as my teaching day will start!!). I'm also exhausted by 8pm and don't usually finish work til 8.30...

I don't want to take time now when if something goes wrong I will end up having weeks off later....but at the same time the very thought of going in and dealing with it all is making me so stressed and upset, and especially this week I am just terrified!

Any advice? Should I just man up?! Or would it be sensible to take some time? I never, ever take time off unless I'm really sick, which is why I feel a bit of a fraud even considering it now... all advice vert gratefully received

 

[cb1]

Hi, I can't work out from your post if your self employed, or work for a company or school. If it's the latter, have you told your manager? It might make things easier if you have their backing.

As for taking time off sick, I was advised by my epu that I should put this pregnancy before everything else (easier said than done...) and after a major row with my boss last week about scan appointments (he called me unreliable as I need to cancel a couple of meetings to attend appointments over the next month) I'm very tempted to ask my doctor to sign me off - I don't need the stress right now, and morning sickness is making me feel terrible. Perhaps you should speak with your doctor, you need to keep stress to a minimum, and this is obviously bothering you. xx

 

[Mom2mmcjg]

Sounds like you need to be open about your pregnancy. I know its hard to tell people so early, especially after loss, but in this circumstance it may be best to be open about it. Then you can teach with minimal "jumping around" and have the understanding of your class and boss.

 

[SabrinaKat]

I had an mc at 7-8wks in August 2009; when I discovered I was pregnant again, I did tell my overall boss as I was terrified that I would have another mc and/or problems that would mean time off -- (as you can see from the ticker -- LO arrived earlier this month safely!); and although I told others at 12wks, it meant that doctor's appointments and changing my classroom from third floor to basement (closer to the bathroom) wasn't an issue and when I was ready to tell others, my overall boss had made it clear to me that me being okay with everything work-wise was important --

I would tell your immediate boss (if you work at a school) as your job sounds far more physical than mine, and I was so nervous (the whole pregnancy actually) that I would tell somebody so you can relax a little bit!

best wishes (and congrats!)

 

[rm16]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts
I am head of the school so although I do have a boss over me she works in a totally different building and I only see her once a month. I have told my colleagues and they know about last time, so when I burst into stressed out floods of tears yesterday they were brilliant!
My doctor says I should just do everything normal, what he doesn't get is my gut feeling that 6 hours of teaching dance a day is way too much. I have never gotten pregnant or even ovulated whilst in term time, which really makes me think it's too much for my body.
So I don't think he'll sign me off, and my husband thinks at least if I am at work then I have to think about other things for a few hours so maybe I stress out less about the pregnancy...

Anyway, yesterday went ok and I just put my foot down and said I am injured and can't dance until easter...I also told my students what to do in class 'if ever I'm sick', which means everyone is ready if something does go wrong in the next few weeks. I have a scan on Thursday, time has never gone so slowly!

Thanks for all your advice, I think I will keep at it for now and just take it as easy as I can. Its difficult as everyone is always on at me, kids, parents, colleagues, everyone has something to demand of me and it's exhausting when I'm not pregnant!

I just desperately want to make it through with this one, had awful nightmares last night as I have done most nights since I found out!

I really do appreciate all your thoughts and Sabrinakat congrats with your little one! xxx

 

[Mom2mmcjg]

Sounds like you did exactly the right thing.

 

[rm16]

Thank you so much for saying that!