What would you do?

[lalitas charm]

Hi there,

I'm having the worst dilema and it is really upsetting me. It may seem silly to some people but I am a really private person about some things and this is making me feel like I have had all my choices and privacy taken away from me, it is a violation of my privacy.

As you all know you get a whole host of tests done including HIV, syphillis and Hepititus. Well, I declined these on my first MW appointment as my mum works in the Lab where the tests are done and I know the person who actually carries out the tests. I feel like it is a breach of my privacy, I asked them couldn't they send them with only my hospital number and not my name but they said no they couldn't. I'm not worried about them coming back positive but there is always that teeny tiny risk and as such I want it to be done anonymously

I wanted to go to the local GUM clinic to do it but although they say they do a walk in clinic the procedure is really that you have to go there at 8:30 and then they will give you an appointment time for later in the week when you have to go back again so that isn't going to work either as I am already going out to appointments all the time.

Today I get a letter from the antenatal screening coordinator going on about how essential it is that I have these tests and how I MUST have them done at my next appointment. there is no effort to meet me half way or understand the upset or stress it is causing me.

I am having my 12 weeks scan (at 11+1) tomorrow and I dont want to go now. I am upset and not looking forward to it at all. I just feel so lost.

Has anyone any more ideas how I can get around this? I'm happy to have the tests done, I just want it to be done privately and to allow me some dignity. It is really upsetting me. Thanks.

Jx

 

[CharlieP]

Hi

Could you not change your GP surgery?

x

 

[Mumof42009]

You have a right to your privacy and if your mums friend mentions the test results to anyone she can lose her job, i would talk to your gp about your concerns and say cant you have them done elsewhere xx

 

[lalitas charm]

Hi Charlie, Unfortunately its the hospital who is insisting on it. My GP is brilliant and she was really understanding when I explained my problem to her. She just said to discuss it with the MW to find a solution to help me. I know it isn't going to be easy but it is so so distressing, I mean, would you like your mum to have access to this kind of info about you BEFORE you do. Its horrible.

Jx

 

[lalitas charm]

They told me that the only place in NI which does these tests is where my mum works (she used to actually do these tests a few years ago). The only way to solve this is to send it with just my hospital number and they just wont agree to do it. If the GUM clinic can do that then I dont see why they can't. All they need to do is mark the hospital number + Antenatal screening and hey presto I'm happy.

I just feel I have no way around this.

 

[babystar]

 

[Mumof42009]

Is there anywhere you could ring ask for advice? Im sure you can have them done privately at the places where you can get scans done would be worth having a look into xx

 

[lalitas charm]

Good Idea Bumps, I just left 2 enquiry messages for a couple of private clinics in Belfast. I've asked them to come back to me ASAP as my appointment is early-ish in the morning. My DH finally gets how upset I am about this and has agreed to pay for the tests if that is what i have to do. I know that there is only 1 lab in NI which does the tests, all I need is for them to be done anonymously.

This sux, I should be looking forward to this appointment not sitting stressing out.

Jx

 

[Frippledip]

Hi Charlie, Unfortunately its the hospital who is insisting on it. My GP is brilliant and she was really understanding when I explained my problem to her. She just said to discuss it with the MW to find a solution to help me. I know it isn't going to be easy but it is so so distressing, I mean, would you like your mum to have access to this kind of info about you BEFORE you do. Its horrible.

Jx

I would call up your GP and tell him/her that your MW and the hospital is not accommodating your requests for privacy. In the states there are laws about this kind of thing, and it's not right to ask you to give up the privacy that is afforded to everyone else. When you do go for your scan, I would stick to your guns and refuse to have the tests done for all the reasons you've already said. As you said, you're more than willing to have them, just not at the sacrifice of your privacy. If they still won't budge then I would try to make the appointment with the GUM clinic. Can you call them up to get your appointment and then it will only be one trip?

Whatever happens, don't let them ruin your happiness at seeing bub on your scan or bully you into taking the tests without privacy. That's against the law here....I don't know about the laws where you live though...

Good luck....

 

[third time]

 

[lalitas charm]

Thank you all so much for your support. I was starting to think that I was just being over dramatic about it but I really cant help how I feel about it. I'll discuss it with the consultant tomorrow and ask (again) about it being done anonymously. Surely all this stress isnt good for me or my LO.

I've just said to my DH that I want him to leave the room while I talk about it to my consultant tomorrow. I know I will get tearful talking about it and when I get upset my DH gets all protective and then he'll lose his rag and I cant handle that. He isn't happy but understands what I mean. He just wants me to have the experience I want which is really sweet but at times like this a little unhelpful when he gets protective.