What would you do?

[katherinegrey]

We're currently saving for our wedding, but we have a small son, who I have a different surname to, I HATE this with a passion, I never thought it would bother me, but it does, my DF says we have two options, get a registry office wedding with no reception for now so we're legally married and have the same name and then do our 'proper' wedding as a vow renewal later when we can afford it, or we can save and just have my dream wedding as my proper wedding.

So, in my shoes, what would you do?? If we get a registry office wedding our 'proper' wedding probably won't be until 2015.

 

[DonnaBallona]

I had the same dilemma except I have 3 children and we booked the wedding and waited. xx

 

[emyandpotato]

You can change your name by deed poll, it costs £14.

 

[Lauren25]

Not having the same name as my two LOs doesn't bother me at all because I know we are getting married and even when I had my first LO and wasn't engaged I knew one day I would have the same name!

Personally I'd wait and have my dream wedding!

 

[katherinegrey]

We did discuss changing my name by deed poll, but then I'd still be a 'miss', we'd look like cousins or something

 

[emyandpotato]

If it bugs you, have a registry office ceremony. That's what we did. It saves on wedding fees later too.

 

[Mummy May]

My daughter has a double barrelled surname (her Dad's and mine), and my son has his Daddy's surname (my DF) so when we get married me, DS and DF will have the same name and DD will have a different one That bothers me! xx

 

[emyandpotato]

My daughter has a double barrelled surname (her Dad's and mine), and my son has his Daddy's surname (my DF) so when we get married me, DS and DF will have the same name and DD will have a different one That bothers me! xx

Could you keep your name? Or double barrel it? Though most likely she won't mind and will find it cool, doubt it will bother her!

 

[LoraLoo]

Id wait and have the wedding that you want

 

[lozzy21]

OP, I would just wait and do it once.

Mummy may after your married you can re-register your children so that they become legitimate(sp?) on their birth certifcate. In certain situations you can ask the registra if you can change names, Im sure if you explain they would let you change it to what you want.

 

[LoraLoo]

OP, I would just wait and do it once.

Mummy may after your married you can re-register your children so that they become legitimate(sp?) on their birth certifcate. In certain situations you can ask the registra if you can change names, Im sure if you explain they would let you change it to what you want.

I actually heard you are supposed to do this by law though nobody told us, and we havent done it yet.

 

[lozzy21]

I thought you had to do it too but cant find anything online saying its a legal requirement.

 

[Mummy May]

No I don't want to change her name, maybe if she had no contact with her Dad I would change it but they have an amazing relationship. I just don't like that we won't share a name! Nothing I can do really she won't care at all! Xx

 

[lozzy21]

No I don't want to change her name, maybe if she had no contact with her Dad I would change it but they have an amazing relationship. I just don't like that we won't share a name! Nothing I can do really she won't care at all! Xx

You could double barrel yours and DS but not use use both names if that makes sence? That way you would all have one name in common?

 

[maryp0ppins]

My mother has a different surname to my dad and my siblings and I....its how it is done in the part of Canada I am from,women keep their maiden name legally. My partner wants me to change mine when we get married....I dont want to.

Id just wait until the wedding.

 

[xemmax]

I thought you had to do it too but cant find anything online saying its a legal requirement.

I didn't know any of this so thanks for posting! I found this https://www.direct.gov.uk/prod_cons.../@dg/@en/documents/digitalasset/dg_176556.pdf which says the form 'must' be completed, so presumably it is a legal requirement?

ETA this says it's law
https://www.surreycc.gov.uk/people-...ration-where-the-natural-parents-have-married

 

[aly888]

To OP, if it was me I would wait. I've had a different surname to my LO for over three years now but like Lauren says, I knew that we would eventually all have the same name.

Mummy May, when you marry (and presumably take your fiancés surname) could you not change your daughters surname to your new name double barrelled with her dads? Ie, swap out your current name for your new one? That way she'll still be connected to you, DF and DS but still have her dads name too

ETA: I did not know anything about having to re-register children after marriage If I've read that right that means even if the child(ren) has the same surname as the (now married) parents they still need re-registering! Just one more thing to organise *adds to the 'to do' list*

 

[lozzy21]

Yes Aly, even if the child has the fathers surname they still need to be re-registered.

 

[aly888]

Yes Aly, even if the child has the fathers surname they still need to be re-registered.

I just made a moany Facebook status about it. Had a mixture of responses from "I've never heard of that" to "yeah we had to do that with X" to "yeah they told us to do it...but we haven't done it (been married 5+ years)" So clearly it's not a law that they are too strict upon!

 

[emyandpotato]

Yes Aly, even if the child has the fathers surname they still need to be re-registered.

I just made a moany Facebook status about it. Had a mixture of responses from "I've never heard of that" to "yeah we had to do that with X" to "yeah they told us to do it...but we haven't done it (been married 5+ years)" So clearly it's not a law that they are too strict upon!

We had to do it, such a hassle for nothing! My parents never did it for me though, and I'm 22, whoops!