whats DH involvement in overnight feeding?

[gaves99]

What is your dh involvement in overnight feedings? Would it change if he wasn't working either?? I kind of resent that he's a sound sleeper.. bad night the past few nights and he's next to me snoring. How to you sleep through your daughter crying next to you? Wants to feed a TON which I know he can't help with but I'd love a cold drink... or how about a diaper change.

What is everyone else's night like?? Do you wake him up?

 

[FarmMom]

My dh sleeps. I resented it at first but now that i'm used to getting up, it only bothers me when i'm really tired. I'm sure i'll be bitter about it when i go back to work in a few weeks.

 

[lau86]

He sleeps. I think unless baby is really fussy and i can't get him settled there's not much point him getting up. He works full time and we have a toddler so it's much better for him to sleep and then be able to work or take care of our toddler.
If he wasn't working I'm not sure... I would resent it but again the dad can't breastfeed so unless I was having a really bad night I would let him sleep.
He should be helping in other ways though definitely

 

[Aliop]

I've always done the initial getting up and feeding (obviously lol) but if for some reason they haven't resettled easily or I'm just frazzled I'll go and wake him and he will take over the resettling. He has works very hard 50+ hrs a week as a partner in a firm but at the end of the day it's his children too and we both need to be on 24/7 if need be. He's an awesome dad and husband!

 

[wifey29]

DH doesn't do a lot. He wandered about with DS2 a couple of times to settle him when he was on paternity leave, but now he's back at work I'm the one who has to get up with both kids. Six times last night between them. I asked DH to pass me a nappy at one point as they were on his side and he grunted and turned over so I had to get up and get it. It's very frustrating when he says he needs his sleep for work, it's not like he has a taxing job. I on the other hand apparently don't need to sleep as I sit on my bum all day messing about with the kids!!! I'd love to know how he thinks the children are looked after, how the house is cleaned, who does the laundry and cooks all our meal, the housework fairies probably.

 

[Sarah lo]

I do all the get ups with LO while DH sleeps but if our toddler wakes up in the night its his job to go to her. That's kind of our unwritten agreement.

 

[Lady_Bee]

Same as above, DH gets up with DS1 if he wakes in the night and I deal with DS2.

DH sleeps in another room. If he were sleeping next to me in my bed while I was up with the baby 5 times a night I think I would hate him every morning! I deal with it much better when he's out of sight in another room and I don't have to hear him peacefully snoring away...

 

[Stacey_Ann]

With DS, hubs used to take him out of his Moses basket, take him into his nursery to change his nappy then bring him back to me, make sure I had a drink/went and got me a drink then would go back to sleep, though I could poke him if I wanted to talk to him or if DS was unsettled in anyway afterwards xx

 

[CupcakeBaby]

DH did all night time nappy changes. (Still does but they're a rarity now)

He also held DD after feeds (she had severe reflux and had to stay upright for 45 minutes after a feed) or we'd take 2 hour shifts if she was having a night where she couldn't be put down.

 

[redlemonade]

My DH is great; even though he's back at work, he insists on doing some of the burping and nappy changes during the night. I try let him sleep most of the time though.

 

[cait]

I don't let OH help at night when he has to get up for work. If the toddler wakes he gets up with her, and he does early morning at weekends so I can lie on with DS. He does nappies in the night at weekends too.

 

[armywife11]

My husband works and I stay home. With my DD it was easy because I could nap during the day if I was up at night. So night time for the most part was all me. The first few nights while he was on paternity leave he helped out by changing diapers, helping me latch her (we has some issues at first), getting me things if needed. She slept in our room so I never had to go far to get her. On weekends when she would wake, if I needed sleep I would nurse her then he would take her downstairs.

This time around he will help when needed but I need his help with DD more than the baby to be honest. He will get up with her on weekends to make sure she's fed and at night when she has rough ones.

 

[Bevziibubble]

My DH has always slept. The first few nights he did get up with me and did nappy changes, but after that I just told him to sleep because I was up anyway and I could change the nappy. There didn't seem any point in us both being up, especially since he had to be up for work. He did look after baby so I could sleep in the day though, depending on what his shifts were

 

[Doodlebug88]

My oh helped with nappies and comforting when he was off work but now he's back the nights are all me as I can nap in day. He does take lo when he gets home from work so I can do a few things

 

[gaves99]

Thanks everyone for the input. I think I would be less annoyed if he were working but he is currently only doing side construction work here and there and when he does he leaves at 9 am so no alarm is set. Don't look at me, look at the clock, moan like ugh again,... and roll over to be snoring in 30 sec. I've been up for over an hour feeding, burping, changing and rocking her, not u. Roll over, hope your sleep is great! Lol

Yesterday I wasn't feeling well and went to bed at 9pm. Only a few feedings but I am still in bed with my little peanut and loving it!!

 

[Mrs HM]

I must be a hard task-master! My DH gets out of bed, walks to the moses basket at my side of bed, gets baby, changes nappy and bring her to me for a feed. I then pass her back to DH for burping and resettling. If our toddler wakes, he goes to him too.

He works full-time 9am-5pm but I ensure he does his share with the kids too! I don't know how you ladies cope at night on your own and then manage all day too.

 

[misspriss]

My DH helped more in the early days, it's pretty much easy peasy now though. He would help with diaper changes when needed.

Then and now he helps if there is a major even. Leaky diaper? Puke? sheets need changing/clothes need changing, etc.

But we cosleep, so the rest is up to me. In fact, he now sleeps in his office (which I guess is his sacrifice) and DS and I take up the whole bed. Hopefully, we plan to get DS sleeping in a toddler bed NEXT to our bed soon, so DH can come back.

 

[Pearls18]

Mostly I let him sleep, there is no point to waking him up. In the early days when there were nappy changes or he just wouldn't settle then he would help, but DS2 stopped pooing at night months ago so there's no need for nappy changes in the night and winding takes seconds (for us) so I'm not waking him up for that.

I do wake him up to help me find dummies though lol.

But the main thing he does to help is when he's off work is give me a lie in, I will feed DS2 when he wakes around 7am and then hubby gets up with the boys and I will sleep till 10am, DS2 is still a very bad sleeper so I need it! I am very grateful for that.

I don't think we would do it any different if he didn't work, I have the boobs it's the way it goes lol.

 

[FarmMom]

I don't think we would do it any different if he didn't work, I have the boobs it's the way it goes lol.

Same here. I am getting ready to go back to work and dh said we could take turns getting up in the middle of the night. I said no thanks...i would rather get up and do feeds than pump extra milk so he can feed. It takes him forever to get lo back to sleep and they're so noisy they wake me up anyways. If we ever go through fussy periods at night, then he can help walk her, but i don't mind doing the feeds.

 

[Mrsb3]

My hubby works so I would not dream of letting him do any night changing or burping! He's up early and goes to bed late because of work- he is self employed and had to make 2 peoples wages. I appreciate that so I do all the baby stuff. He does play with lo before bath time and hold newborn for me on an evening so I can tidy up etc... X