What's so bad about only wanting 1 child?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Club' started by Neecee, Oct 27, 2008.

  1. Neecee

    Neecee Guest

    I'm getting a little fed up with the reaction I'm getting from people when I say my hubby and I only want 1 child. I'm not particularly enjoying this pregnancy and my mum has given me her full understanding and sympathy. She's watching me go through the exact same things she went through with my brother and she told me that if she'd had him first, she wouldn't have had any more children because she had such a rough time.

    So now when I say that hubby and I are happy to have just one child, people are constantly telling me "oh, you say that now, but you'll forget all about the bad bits..."

    If one more person says this to me they're seriously gonna get a slap! :hissy:

    We're happy to have one child and give that child all our love and attention, we know he's not going to be lonely because he'll have lots of friends and cousins his age. And for the record, NO, I will NOT forget the sickness, the hospitals, the drips, the needles, the nosebleeds, the sciatica and the general crappy fellings. I didn't forget it the first time round and I knew I'd have to deal with it again with this pregnancy. I just wish people would respect my descision. Some people are good at this pregnancy lark, some aren't. That's just the way life goes.

    Sorry for yet another rant today, but like a good fart, it's better out than in.
     
  2. maddiwatts19

    maddiwatts19 Guest

    bless you hun. i'm an only child, and i turned out just fine!! i dont feel lonely at all, i'm really close to my cousins, and i know that me and my parents wouldnt change it for anything!!
    my mum was the same as you, she had a really rough pregnancy with me, needed a blood transfusion, didnt have one and got really ill, so she didnt fancy doing it all again!
    but then OH's mum had 11 kids because she loved being pregnant and she wanted a large family. its completely personal choice, so those people can just piss off!! hehe!
    :hugs:
     
  3. Cariad_bach

    Cariad_bach mum to 2 boys and 2 girls

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    Forget them hun....

    .....people are forever looking down there nose at me and OH for having 3 (they dont know im expecting a 4th yet) because in my family most of them only have 1 child.......its all personal choice xxxxx
     
  4. PeanutBean

    PeanutBean Mumma to Byron & Indigo

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    Hmmm...I think people enjoy criticising and feelign superior for one thing - only one child? Oh you'll want more. 4 children? How will you ever manage? etc..

    I want more than one because lots of the people I've known who are only children tend to struggle more to share (my Dad for one!) but this is a generalisation and not really a particularly valid reason for picking family size! I would come back with smug comments about the impact on the environment of having more - you are helping to reduce world population growth and your family's carbon footprint will be smaller than average!

    People really should keep their opinions to themselves on such matters as these rather than spouting them out knowingly and unasked for, full of patronising self-assurance.
     
  5. WelshGirl

    WelshGirl Mummy at last!!

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    Sorry hun, but this made me laugh soooo much!!!!! :rofl:

    Back to your original point though - as someone else said, whether you tell people you want one kid, or 5 kids, they will always have an opinion on it.

    I can totally understand where you are coming from. We won't be having another after this one. We always said we only wanted one child - technically, this our 2nd, as our son was Stillborn at the start of this year. I had such a rough time physically before he was born, that i said I couldn't do it again. After we lost him, we had to choose - did I go through the horrendous sickness, being admitted to hospital again?? But then that's a slightly different situation. God willing, our little girl will be ok, and she will be our last child.

    Don't let anyone make you feel bad for only wanting the one child :hugs:

    xxx
     
  6. BlackBerry25

    BlackBerry25 Helena & Elliot <3

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    Thats all I want! I don't think there is anything wrong with it. If other people want to overpopulate the world, then they can, lol. LEAVE US ALONE! I told my mom that I was going to write myself a letter, to ensure that I won't forget all of my misery while being pregnant.
     
  7. Dragonfly

    Dragonfly Mother of 4

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    yep i get the same, when i say no thanks i have been through a rough time so far and cant imagine trying to look after a child and being pregnant at the same time the anwer is

    "oh you will forget about that all and get broody again" errm no i wont forget i have thrown up for near 9 months and went through hell and i havnt even got to the labour yet.

    Or "your stopping at one?why?!

    some have it so much more easier than others i think. I may sound selfish but i have sacrificed all my freedom for 1 baby and have enough on my plate with worry of this one to have another one.

    then they say

    but you cant say that yet you dont know what the future holds!

    yes i do a large pack of condoms and caution!

    now i want this baby and always did but one is enough. i dont think i could go through this again.

    I know people that fart babies out and I wish mine would just fart out with not a bother. They make it look so easy! ffs i am loosing teeth here and patience! lol
     
  8. nessajane

    nessajane Well-Known Member

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    why do people always feel the need to comment on other peoples decisions!! :grr: butt out init!!
     
  9. DonnaBallona

    DonnaBallona newlyweds!

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    This made me chuckle too :blush: sorry Neecee!!

    Im sorry you're having such a rough time at the moment-I hope things ease up a little for you. I have absolutly no idea how many children we will be having-Each person is different and what will be will be!

    Hang in there x x
     
  10. Cariad_bach

    Cariad_bach mum to 2 boys and 2 girls

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    LMAO yer thats one of the comments I get alot :winkwink:
     
  11. anita665

    anita665 Mum of 2 & expecting 3rd

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    There's nothing wrong with wanting just one. I used to only want one. I've changed my mind now but not everyone does. I suppose one child would just get the best of you.
     
  12. XKatX

    XKatX Well-Known Member

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    Babes - my OH is an only child and he's quite stable!!! We don't know if we'll have more - we'll just wait and see. But if one is enough - then one is enough. It doesn't matter how many you have, as long as you as a family are happy and content - which I am sure you will be. 100%!!! x x x
     
  13. Nic-Flowers

    Nic-Flowers Well-Known Member

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    I understand how you feel. We are being judged for only wanting one child but if all goes well with this pregnancy I really do not want to do it again. I get so sick and pregnancy is hard on me, so it will most likely just be the one for us.

    I think it is a personal choice and as long as you and OH agree that is all that matters.
     
  14. brownhairedmom

    brownhairedmom Well-Known Member

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    Ugh you don't know how often I hear this. I tell them, no I only want one...and then I get "oh but you'll meet someone really nice one day and you'll settle down and have a family"! :shock: It has NOTHING to do with me being single and not seeing myself with a family!! I just physically don't want to carry another child!! They can't seem to comprehend it. I tell them that I'll adopt in a few years if I'm in the position to do it, but they don't get it and still say "oh you're only young". I may be young but I damn well know I never want to be pregnant again.
     
  15. nataliecn

    nataliecn Mommy to Grady and WTT!

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    i always thought i wanted two... but now that i'm actually pregnant, i'm not liking this whole pregnancy thing, and i honestly don't think i'm gonna want to go through it again! and i'm not even half way and i'm sick of it! LOL
     
  16. Neecee

    Neecee Guest

    I feel the same way - this pregnancy lark is not what I thought it would be at all!
     
  17. 1st_baby

    1st_baby Guest

    I plan on having only one too :) and trust me i got so many of those comments its not even funny lol its quite annoying but now i just ignore it ..or answer "with one child he will get all my love , all my money , all my attention" he wont have to share lol
     
  18. mrsholmes

    mrsholmes Well-Known Member

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    I feel the same! I only want one child, for several reasons: from being an only child myself and loving every second of it, being sick all the time and not seeing how id cope with a a toddler and not being able to afford more than one!

    people are saying to me all the time 'oh you'll change your mind' I dont know why ppl have to put their opinion in! I think the most common thing ppl say is 'they wont have a brother /sister and im so close to mine, they will never know what feeling' but I think people forget alot of people are not that close to the siblings!

    my OH agrees (he's one of 3) and can see why I loved being an only child.
     
  19. Dona

    Dona Well-Known Member

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    I am an only child and was not lonely! Both myself and Hubby have agreed that we are only having one. People should keep their opinions to themselves if they are going to upset folk.
     
  20. xxxjacxxx

    xxxjacxxx My Eggo is Preggo!

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    I can totally relate to the 'I only want one child' scenario......but what if you and OH split up in say, 3/4/5( or more) years and you meet someone else, fall madly in love, they dont have a child of their own and are desperate for one?

    This is what happened to me....I already had 2 great kids when I met Ant 8 years ago and didnt want any more at all! But I knew how much he wanted his own children, he never pressured me but I felt bad expecting him to bring up my children as his own but not give him his own child.....I felt as though there was something missing from 'our family'

    I had a horendous pg with Lily (my 3rd, his 1st) I was sick from beginning to end, I had severe SPD from about 16 weeks and had to use crutches to walk for the last 8 weeks....eventually I begged them to induce me 2 weeks early.....I swore I would never ever do it again!!!!

    Here I am 14 weeks with my 4th:blush: I know my pg is going to be bad (alls fine so far) but the way I see it, its worth it...no pain, no gain.

    Dont get me wrong, I am not saying you dont know your own mind but you never know what is going to happen in the future...so you should NEVER say Never.
     

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