What's your sex-life like right now?

[lcmorla]

My drive started going down as soon as the nausea started around week 8 or so. Nausea went away but drive never came back. Now my sex life is nonexistent. We haven't had sex since New year's day! I miss it but I feel so unattractive and he's turned off by the fact that his baby's in me. Anyone else in a similar boat?

 

[Hopefulk]

I'm in a much worse boat! We had two mmc before our daughter so we abstained during pregnancy with her (combination of not being in the mood, dh too nervous to touch me, ms and ob/gyn saying "there's no evidence to say it's harmful - just decide how you would feel and if you would blame yourself if anything went wrong and you'd been having sex")

Then our little Velcro baby was born so c section meant things weren't happening for around eight weeks. Then there was the initial sleep deprivation. Then she slept relatively well for a couple of months but we were out of the habit so it didn't happen often. Then she hit six months and would only sleep for max of 90 minutes at a time until she turned a year! Then we discovered she would sleep IF she was holding on to me. So we did that for a few months.

Then, when she was 22 mo we got pregnant again and haven't had sex since! So we've probably had sex 10/12 times in three years. I kid you not.

Now we're at stage where baby is wriggling, it feels strange so I know we won't know until after 6 week check up... Meaning it will be another 18 weeks!

I do miss it and we do discuss missing it... And then we cuddle and say "sorry I'm just so tired!" We have the rest if our lives to make up for this lost time!

 

[lcmorla]

Oh god. That sounds awful. 12 times in 3 years! We used to have sex 12 times in 3 days!! Haha. We're optimistic that our sex lives will come back.

 

[rosegarden620]

Oh sex !!! I miss it so much!!! First tri sex went down- never 100% but down in frequency

Second tri- it was way better. Sex picked up but sill not to prepregnancy shenanigans. Prepregnancy it was 5/7 days!

Middle of third tri things started to slow down. Once I started dilate he became to much to take, positions difficult to come by baby moving... We were back to once a week.

Then I got put on pelvic rest and sex has become sneaky... We've broken the rule twice...as of Friday next week it's fair game again and I truly cannot wait!

Oh sex.

 

[Leo_Mumma]

I know it sounds bad but when I thought my sex drive had gone I think it was more the idea of it that turned me off. The idea of getting all my chub out and all that effort was just not appealing. My OH has been sooo understanding and I do feel for him as we both have a very high sex drive normally. Now I've started making my self do it (making it might be the wrong word) I've realised I actually rather enjoy it! We're still nowhere near where we used to be but when we do have sex its almost better.

 

[Dolly84]

I'm in a much worse boat! We had two mmc before our daughter so we abstained during pregnancy with her (combination of not being in the mood, dh too nervous to touch me, ms and ob/gyn saying "there's no evidence to say it's harmful - just decide how you would feel and if you would blame yourself if anything went wrong and you'd been having sex")

Then our little Velcro baby was born so c section meant things weren't happening for around eight weeks. Then there was the initial sleep deprivation. Then she slept relatively well for a couple of months but we were out of the habit so it didn't happen often. Then she hit six months and would only sleep for max of 90 minutes at a time until she turned a year! Then we discovered she would sleep IF she was holding on to me. So we did that for a few months.

Then, when she was 22 mo we got pregnant again and haven't had sex since! So we've probably had sex 10/12 times in three years. I kid you not.

Now we're at stage where baby is wriggling, it feels strange so I know we won't know until after 6 week check up... Meaning it will be another 18 weeks!

I do miss it and we do discuss missing it... And then we cuddle and say "sorry I'm just so tired!" We have the rest if our lives to make up for this lost time!

Oh we're in a similar boat, we ttc for 2 years before I had clomid and got pregnant with ds, because of the length of time ttc I completly went off sex and so did dh just incase we started a bleed or a mc. So we didn't have sex until ds was 14 weeks old (I had a 2nd degree tear) then that one time got me pregnant again, so we swore off sex again, but ended up having a blighted ovum mc at 9 weeks. So took me a while to get over that so didn't want sex, then it was 3 months before our wedding and I didn't want to be ab pregnant bride, so we only did it every so often, then we went on honeymoon and hired a log cabin and that is where this baby has come from so this time we've stopped the sex as well because I couldn't live with myself if anything happened, I think I have that mindset definatly after a loss. But I'm due baby #2 in 3 weeks and I'm looking forward to the sex again, (and I'm definatly getting the implant this time) no more surprises, for the time being anyway 😊xxx

 

[pansorie]

We're still active, though frequency has gone down. I would say 1-2x a week, and that has to do more with time and fatigue rather than not wanting or feeling unattractive.
It honestly never occured to us to abstain from sex the first tri. In fact, as soon as we found out I was pregnant we had sex. I did not know people did that until I started reading the forums.

 

[jeoestreich]

We are still active but not as much as usual. Lately I have been really sore so I have not been in the mood.

 

[Catiren]

before pregnancy it was several times a week. since pregnancy i havent wanted intimacy at all much but when i do, he's not here. he wants it all the time and finds me extremely attractive with my bump and all(actually evenmore so with it). sometimes i dont want it because i feel like he comes on too strongly and i dont like being jumped on when i feel so much body aches, tiredness, or when im nauseous. but i find myself in the mood when he doesnt necessarily try to do anything or ask for it.

overall id say we make love at most 3 times a month, but at least once.

 

[Inoue]

Non existent like others . My DH doesnt have a high sex drive normally anyway so now im pregnant and im not initiating it - not much change. I plan to have sex past 38/39 weeks but its more of the 'trying to start labour'.

Im definitely not feeling attractive like this and have gained at least 35lbs so im not to concerned about lack of sex.

It will get better ladies once baby out and you're all healed

Xx

 

[zebbed89]

Pretty much non existent once or twice a month maybe. I feel very swollen down there so it just doesn't appeal it was like this last time so hubby knew what was coming! X x

 

[Hopefulk]

It is awful but have to be intimate in other ways and we are BOTH so tired that I don't have the guilty feelings on top of missing sex. It was quite funny that we got pregnant first time having sex after we decided we'd try... Hubby said, "really? I have friends who are sick of being ordered to bed because it's taking so long to conceive and it happens for us on the first time? What about all the sex?!" Hahaha!

We were then on holiday for two weeks (so lg in our bed - again!- as she hates travel cots, came home and my ms and exhaustion began before finding out so he really has lucked out! Hahaha!

We will make up for it! Karma owes us a sleeping baby!!!

 

[Beanonorder]

Sex.... Hmm, we've done it twice between October and now!
Dh doesn't have the highest drive anyway. Last time he got really put off so I expected it this time. To be honest I actually don't care. Last time we tried it was a bit sore.

I guess we'll see what happens after baby arrives.

 

[mod19]

Yeah first tri see drive completely gone, came back late in the second tri. We've still kept doing it up until about 3 weeks ago. I am in so much pain right now just walking around I can't imagine what it's going to be like with him inside me. It already feels like someone is sticking a knife up my crotch, much less something actually going up there. Poor guy.

 

[hairftsher]

Wow. I'm actually shocked that so many people are turned off or not in the mood. I suppose I haven't put much thought into it. Our sex life has pretty much stayed the same. Daily or every other day.

 

[mayacat]

Very low. Not non-existent, but I know it feels that way for DH. We're averaging 1-2 times per month at the moment. He knows after birth is going to be worse for a bit too. I feel guilty not wanting sex much since his drive is a lot higher than mine even when I'm not preggo. He tries to be understanding though, which is amazing. I know it's hard on him.

 

[maggz]

It's been fairly infrequent for the past couple of months, mostly just due to lack of time. I'd say we're averaging about 1-2 a week now, hopefully it will go up now that I'm off work so we actually go to bed at the same time!

 

[mod19]

It's been fairly infrequent for the past couple of months, mostly just due to lack of time. I'd say we're averaging about 1-2 a week now, hopefully it will go up now that I'm off work so we actually go to bed at the same time!

This was our issue for awhile too. Dh would come to bed what seemed like hours after me, and I'd already be sleeping.

 

[SmartieMeUp]

DD1
Multiple times daily pre-preg
5-6x a week during pregnancy odd week of 3 times
Post-preg had sex 6 days after section (...I know)
Turned to 1-3x a week thereafter

DD2 (current)
2x a week (if that) pre-preg, went a few weeks without
First tri - 3x a week
Second tri - Twice a fortnight maybe? Lol

I've not been feeling connected with OH so that's my reason.

 

[SmartieMeUp]

It's been fairly infrequent for the past couple of months, mostly just due to lack of time. I'd say we're averaging about 1-2 a week now, hopefully it will go up now that I'm off work so we actually go to bed at the same time!

This was our issue for awhile too. Dh would come to bed what seemed like hours after me, and I'd already be sleeping.

I get woken up to it!