When are you going to tell work?

[bump.on.brain]

I'm just wondering when everybody is planning on telling their work that they are pregnant? I'm only 4 weeks at the moment and wasn't planning on telling anybody until we've told DD at 12 weeks... but I'm a bit worried about whether I can wait until then to tell work.

My job will have to be covered and after a lot of maternity leaves in the department recently my line manager has joked that "I'm not allowed to go on maternity leave". As much as it was a joke he isn't aware that I have been TTC and when I first started this job I wasn't planning on having anymore DC so he is probably still under that impression.

I'm worried that whenever I tell him he won't be thrilled/may feel misled, but at the moment the department is having a restructure/staffing review to see how many more people we need to recruit and I'm wondering if I tell him after that is complete he might be even more annoyed (as they might have made a different decision to recruit more if they'd known).

Given that I'm going to worry about it, maybe it's worth getting it over and done with sooner? And work may appreciate that which would make it easier... But then I don't really want work to know before DD/family/friends and am worried about being before 12 weeks.

Help! What would you do?

 

[SadakoS]

Both times I've been pregnant I've had to tell my work as soon as I find out. I work in an aseptic pharmacy and being pregnant means that I can't work in the chemotherapy rooms or the radiopharmacy. Starts off with just the odd person knowing, but people notice pretty quickly! The first time, they knew before my family did. I actually got an early reassurance scan to check things were OK before making it more common knowledge at work.
I think in your case your boss would definitely appreciate your honesty, and like you say, I think with a restructure in process it would be in your favour tell them. It doesn't need to be common knowledge, but a few people who know will make you feel better.

 

[vickyandchick]

I told my work when I was 9 weeks as I had a midwife appointment the week after. Luckily I work for a very small company, there's only about 20 of us there so I didn't mind telling them

 

[Ele3085]

My story isn't as good as the others . I told my work and they let me go....apparently no one wants to have a pregnant nanny working for them , and I feel that is extremely unfair

 

[SadakoS]

Do you work for a company? Because I'm pretty sure that legally you cannot be sacked for being pregnant! There must be some kind of advice you can seek about that.

 

[Ele3085]

No , a private family .

 

[MySunAndStars]

I Just told my boss today. I’m 11 weeks but I only just found out I was pregnant the other week and had my first u/s Tuesday

 

[bump.on.brain]

Wow Ele, I'm so sorry that happened! That's terrible!

Thanks for your replies everybody, I really appreciate it. I work for the NHS so there shouldn't be any major HR issues thankfully, it's more just that my immediate line manager and his boss might not be thrilled.

I do think if I tell him early it would be appreciated and at least would make me less worried about the reaction being even worse. But DH (although he said it is my decision) thinks it's unfair that I feel forced to tell them before I'm ready to tell anyone else. I do think I may have to wait another few days at least as I'm not sure I've got my own head round the idea yet (even though we were ttc!)! At least telling them early I suppose means I don't have to dress up in disguise when turning up for my midwife appointment!

 

[bump.on.brain]

The only other issue I have just thought of is that my line manager is a terrible gossip. I know he's told me things about other people being pregnant/leaving their job etc when he hasn't been supposed to so could imagine that happening with my news. And as I have friends in the department too would potentially end up having to tell them too so they heard it from me... and before you know it I'm telling lots of people before 12 weeks and before I've told my family. Argh!

 

[amytrisha]

Obviously you don’t have to tell them til 25 weeks but I would recommend telling them as early as possible, not for them but incase you need any time off etc we all know how scary first tri is. I wish I’d of told my works sooner x

 

[StarryEyed88]

That’s not very fair of your boss telling everyone else’s business like that. Would you be able to make it quite clear you want no one else to know and if it does get out, can you take it further?

I waited til I had my dating scan at 8 weeks and then told my bosses shortly thereafter.

 

[glong88]

I still haven't told my.work. I am currently still on maternity leavr from my youngest, due back a week Tuesday when he 16 weeks, so my first day back I shall be telling them I think ha ha

 

[bump.on.brain]

Thanks again everybody, all your thoughts are really helpful.

I do think there are pro's and con's of telling work early which is why I'm struggling with the decision.

I can see the benefit of not having to worry about constant cover stories if I'm sick/have appointments etc. And I would explain to my boss that it was really early, I didn't want people to know as I haven't even told family etc... but in honesty I don't think I'd have confidence that he wouldn't accidentally let it slip to a couple of people, even if he didn't mean to, as that's just his personality.

 

[xarlenex]

I'm with your DH, I don't think you should tell before your ready, even more so whenever you want to share the news with family first. You should never feel you have to because they might be huffy about it, it's truly disgusting that in this day and age that's still the reaction for women falling pregnant. Your manager is your manager and paid the big bucks to deal with situations like covering you and others etc.. And it shouldnt be for you to worry about. Make the decision for yourself and not anyone else

 

[bump.on.brain]

Thanks everybody, your replies have really helped. I've thought about it a lot over the weekend and have swung massively from telling work tomorrow to get it over with, to waiting until 12 weeks because "the team structure should be the team structure regardless of whether I'm there or not so they can just sort out cover for my role later". I think I'm settling at the moment though on just seeing how I feel over the next few weeks and weighing up the right timing depending on how things play out over that time.

Thank you all again

 

[Amethyste]

I told my boss and colleagues straight away cos I work in retail and it can be quite physical with deliveries and climbing on ladders. I didn't want to sound lazy. Also I spend my days with them, they was no way I could keep my mouth shut, lol

 

[Lil_Gem_1989]

I didn’t tell my work until after my 12 week scan with both my boys. Doing the same this time but it’s a struggle as I have awful pregnancies, I get every illness going and morning sickness X