When do you feel safe?

[babe<3]

This may have been talked about before (sorry if it has). I had a MC at 6 weeks a few years back and am now ttc and in the tww (AF due July 31). I was wondering when I would feel "safe". I feel as though I am in the tww to find out if I am pg now but then I will be so paranoid until at least after the 6 week mark. Anyone having these feelings?

 

[ettegirb21]

I definitely feel the same exact way. I try not to feel anxious, but I know that once I get my BFP I will be nervous until probably I am out of the first trimester....

Good luck. Hope everything goes well for you & that you get your sticky bean soon!

 

[Lucia]

Same here. I won't feel safe until at least the second trimester and even them I am sure I will be constantly worried. Miscarriage really does change your perspective.

 

[lynnb]

I think I'll fell safer after 12 weeks but I'm sure that I won't feel totally safe until I have my baby in my arms

 

[Tigerlilies]

You're not alone. I honestly probably won't truly feel safe until after the baby is born since so many women have lost their babies late in their pregnancies. I think once you've gone through this, you're more aware of how delicate this process is but at the same time you can't worry yourself sick about it either. It's been written that we (the whole human race) will have trials to face and over come, but He knows best. When I become PG again, I definitely plan on getting blood right away and ask again for more around 10-12wks to set my mind at ease or do progesterone shots if needed.

 

[lynnb]

I'm thinking I might be a frequent visitor to my EPU when I get my next BFP

 

[Lynsay]

I honestly think that I'll be a nervous wreck until baby is born and I know 10000000000000% that he/she is safe and secure.

I had a Missed Miscarriage which happened at around the 8 week mark, but because my 12 week scan was actually at 13+3 I didnt know anything for over 5 weeks...thats going to be the hardest part...Waiting for the scan date and seeing that everything is ok.

It crushed me and my boyfriend when we saw the screen for that first time and part of me thinks that I'm not strong enough to go through that again. x

 

[LucyJ]

Hey I am so sorry for your loss.

My husband and I found out at our 12 week scan that our little one had died at about 10 weeks so for me I wont start feeling safe untill I get passed the 12 week mark. Suffering a miscarriage takes away the innocence of pregnancy as you know what can go wrong. The only thing that you can do is try not to worry to much and find ways of coping with the fear. I find the whole TTC and TWW now a slightly scary prospect but I try to stay positive and hopeful.

 

[Lynsay]

I hadnt thought about that before, but you're so right, it does take away the innocence of pregnancy. I never even thought about the problems which could go wrong, I guess that you are innocently naive until you go through it. x

 

[vanillastar]

I feel the same. I want to be pregnant again so badly, but I dont think I will settle down and feel okay about it until I well into my second trimester.

 

[babe<3]

Thanks everyone for the responses...definitely going to be tough but we need to stay positive when we get pregnant.

My family all knew about my MC when it happened...any thoughts who knows when. I think I will tell my immediate family as soon as I get a BFP...I will need their support to help me if a MC happens again. But part of me is afraid to tell people again.

 

[maaybe2010]

I have no idea when I will feel safe but I know I will feel a lot better seeing a HB around 7/8 and since I get a reasurrance scan I will definatley get a scan

After this I will feel better after the 12 week scan and then what I think will be the biggest thing for me is feeling the baby move and kick. At least if I can feel it's alive I can stay realitively optimistic. . . .

Then to see my OH holding baby after birth will be my last thing to get through!
Although I'm sure a whole new load of worries will come after this lol

x x x x x x x

 

[vanillastar]

Thanks everyone for the responses...definitely going to be tough but we need to stay positive when we get pregnant.

My family all knew about my MC when it happened...any thoughts who knows when. I think I will tell my immediate family as soon as I get a BFP...I will need their support to help me if a MC happens again. But part of me is afraid to tell people again.

Im debating on this. Dont know why Im already thinking about it, Im not even pregnant yet. I really want to just tell OH, but Im not sure if I can keep my mouth shut. I just dont want to have to explain to everyone about it if it would happen again. I may just tell my mom and bff.

 

[maaybe2010]

Thanks everyone for the responses...definitely going to be tough but we need to stay positive when we get pregnant.

My family all knew about my MC when it happened...any thoughts who knows when. I think I will tell my immediate family as soon as I get a BFP...I will need their support to help me if a MC happens again. But part of me is afraid to tell people again.

Im debating on this. Dont know why Im already thinking about it, Im not even pregnant yet. I really want to just tell OH, but Im not sure if I can keep my mouth shut. I just dont want to have to explain to everyone about it if it would happen again. I may just tell my mom and bff.

When I think about getting a I want to keep it a secret. . even from my OH which I really stand stand myself for thinking that but I can't help. . . .

I feel like I wnat to not tell ANYONE including OH until I'm 5 / 6 month or util I can't hide it. . . .

I know that this probably won't be the case becuase although I'll be scared I know I'll be excited too but who knows how we'll react

xx

 

[Tigerlilies]

I don't blame anyone for wanting to keep their PG a secret from everyone, especially ppl who aren't immediate family. I've half debated about keeping it a secret from my OH until I had blood work confirmation from the OB but I feel that any length of time after that would be unfair to your OH. You run the risk of hurting his feelings or even pissing him off for not sharing something that he contributed to. Something to consider.

 

[irish_rose3]

I'm with a lot of the others. I won't feel safe until I have my baby safe, sound, and healthy in my arms. I will drive the doctors crazy with phone calls and visits. In anyone's experience, are midwives better? I will do anything I have to do during my pregnancy to make sure baby is okay. I was cautious before and probably will be only worse the next time.

 

[vanillastar]

I also thought about not telling OH, but the thing is that if I m/c again I really need his support. It is not something that I can deal with alone.

 

[lynnb]

DH & I have already decided that when we get our BFP we're only telling our mothers until about 12 or 13 weeks

 

[vanillastar]

DH & I have already decided that when we get our BFP we're only telling our mothers until about 12 or 13 weeks

That sounds like a really good idea. I think we might do this, except only tell my mother because I think DH would most likely want to wait to tell his.

 

[Rmar]

I have been thinking I wont feel Ok to start planning ahead for an upcoming baby until I am at least 7 weeks. We will go with what we have always said, even before the m/c, that we wont tell until 10 weeks minimum. 14 if we are feeling nervous.