When do you worry re milestones?

[Sugarmuppet]

I'm pretty good at telling people 'don't worry, they all do things in their own time!'. But not so good at taking my own advice.

Gaby is very far behind what she should be doing. She wasn't very premature at all but is months and months behind where she should be. HV is a bit crap (think that must be a common trait in HVs!).

She was discharged from the hospital in June so don't have them for support, HV says Gaby will need to be referred back to them if she doesn't improve when she sees her again next month.

So when do you worry? Just how far behind do they have to be?

 

[25weeker]

what isn't she doing that puts her behind?

There may be some mums on here with older prems who can reassure you. I know what you mean about not taking your own advice as I say the same but still worry about Holly.

 

[AP]

Aw hun. You know how they say the whole "they'll do it in their own time?" Well, give preemies a wider spectrum You know, I always thought, at the age your LO is, that Alex was behind, and then suddenly, everything happened at once, and shes doing amazing now, bang on target.

Don't ever let your HV make you think otherwise, not at this stage at least! because, as you know, they dont have a scooby

 

[Sugarmuppet]

I am just having a bad day, I know there are others in a much worse position than us, just the flaming HV thats got me worried. (although I have been beginning to worry myself anyway when I see other babies)

Gaby isn't making any noises or babbling. Apparently I can't be talking to her enough.
She is still tiny. 14lb 6oz today.
Doesn't look like she has any intention of crawling soon, she has only just started sitting up.
She can't pass an object from hand to hand although she can feed herself finger food.
She is happy to lie back and watch the world go by, too contented? Doesn't wave, clap her hands or really move about much at all.

On the upside she is the happiest wee baby I have ever come accross, she is a joy to be with and a fabulous sleeper.

 

[AP]

Alex cant clap hands, or wave at us, STILL! At 7 months corrected i promise you thats what it was like for us. PROMISE

Stay out that Baby Club you!!!!!!

 

[Sugarmuppet]

Alex cant clap hands, or wave at us, STILL! At 7 months corrected i promise you thats what it was like for us. PROMISE

Stay out that Baby Club you!!!!!!

Your proper lovely you! Always know what to say! And speak such wise words! Shall stop reading the 'my 3 month old baby has just run a lap of the livingroom' threads lol

 

[AP]

In a word

AYE!

cut it oot you!

 

[Marleysgirl]

My 3month-old just ran a lap of the living room .......................

My 15month-old (12 month corrected) is been crawling for a couple of months, but has only this week perfected sitting. Not only is he ignoring the calendar for when things should be achieved, he is also determined to do them in the wrong order.

Trickier for us to assess whether his speech is on target due to his hearing problems, alas.

 

[angelstardust]

Is she still under consultant care? Do you have an appointment soon?

It may be worth speaking to your GP rather than HV, they tend to get things done a bit quicker.

A lot of babies are the same, but probably having a few sessions with a physio would help teach you how to encourage the hand coordination. The fact that she can feed herself is very good. You know they will say feed her things like wotsits

I can't remember everything from that far back, but the main thing is providing stimulation on her hands and arms, just massaging them with the pads of your fingers, rubbing her hands and arms with a towel and different textures. Some little plastic bangles over her wrists. It's not about making her move them, just about reminding her that she has hands and arms right now.

Crawling wise, don't worry about it. My eldest didn't crawl and my 'neurotypical' daughter didn't crawl till 11 months. Being honest, she didn't really do that much till 11 months anyway, she was boring! However, I know the feeling of needing to do something which is why I replied.

 

[Sugarmuppet]

Is she still under consultant care? Do you have an appointment soon?

It may be worth speaking to your GP rather than HV, they tend to get things done a bit quicker.

A lot of babies are the same, but probably having a few sessions with a physio would help teach you how to encourage the hand coordination. The fact that she can feed herself is very good. You know they will say feed her things like wotsits

I can't remember everything from that far back, but the main thing is providing stimulation on her hands and arms, just massaging them with the pads of your fingers, rubbing her hands and arms with a towel and different textures. Some little plastic bangles over her wrists. It's not about making her move them, just about reminding her that she has hands and arms right now.

Crawling wise, don't worry about it. My eldest didn't crawl and my 'neurotypical' daughter didn't crawl till 11 months. Being honest, she didn't really do that much till 11 months anyway, she was boring! However, I know the feeling of needing to do something which is why I replied.

Thank you, will try everything you suggest, really appreciate your reply. Going to see the HV on Wednesday so will see what happens then. Just so fed up with the 'isn't she crawling' comments. 'eh no she can't even roll!'.

 

[angelstardust]

I'm not suggesting there is a problem btw. I only answered because I have experience of when there are problems.

What does she do when she is on her tummy? Rolling usually starts from tummy to back, so make sure you set aside time for her lying on her tummy. There are lots of sites offering advice if you google 'how to help a baby roll over'.

Are you sure she is not trying? Not to question you, but I had a friend worrying about her little girl who wasn't crawling. After a while I spotted that she was trying to crawl (or get into the rocking position) but mum was pulling her back because she was too close to the TV, too far away, there were childen walking past etc. She didn't even realise that the baby was trying to crawl. Physio's are trained to spot every tiny movement which is why it is helpful to get them to review a child>|

 

[Sugarmuppet]

She is great on her tummy, pushes up with ease and kicks her legs - just doesn't go anywhere! She can roll from her back to her tummy, as soon as you put her down on her back she rolls over. She is quite happy to lie on her front pushed up on her arms for ages. This is definite progress but she has never rolled from front to back, even if she gets upset at being on her tummy she can't roll back.

Will def ask for a physio review when I see HV next. She was discharged from the consultant in June so hasn't seen anyone since then.

Was at a friends this afternoon with other babies and there is a huge difference between her and them. I can't help comparing! Everyone comments on her being so contented and good. Can babies be too good?!

 

[angelstardust]

Shesounds like she is doing good to me.

When on her tummy, look at what her arms are doing. It may be that she just hasn't worked out what to do with her arm so she can roll. She has to push her arm up out the way and raise the opposite leg under her tummy to roll over. Hard to explain, but if you get on the floor and try it you should get what I mean.

You can also push her legs under her, to raise her bum up in the air to get her used to it. What flooring do you have? Is there enough grip for under her knees (we have lamenite and had to buy a cheap rug). Then if you support her tummy and show her how to rock.

But I did that with Amber and she still wasnt interested till 11 months! Can lead a horse to water but can't make them drink

No, they can't be too contented hun! I know it's hard and I know you are worried but she does sound fine. She is reaching milestones, just in a different way from what you read on baby websites. Please do try and relax and enjoy this time. It doesn't seem like it but soon she will be tearing up the place.

 

[Marleysgirl]

What flooring do you have? Is there enough grip for under her knees (we have lamenite and had to buy a cheap rug). Then if you support her tummy and show her how to rock.

Us too - we bought a large carpet offcut for the centre of our lounge, much more comfortable for hands and knees

 

[New2Bumps]

Gaby isn't making any noises or babbling. Apparently I can't be talking to her enough.

Well if they said that to you then that's ridiculously rude.
- Ethan had a check up hearing test at 9mo as he spent time in scbu and he was babbling a bit then, but now so so SO much more.
- Ethan has clapped hands for the first time TODAY!!! He's been tapping things together for a month or so but no clapping.
- He sat up at about 9.5 months, suddenly. He learnt within about 4 days.
- He was up on all 4s from about 9.5months, for 2 weeks then one day went crazy throwing himself about and started crawling about a week later.
- He won't really be bothered with finger food!!! He will hold a biscuit but that's it. Nothing else. I think he just can't be bothered!!!

What I'm trying to say is that at about 9 - 10 months Ethan had a massive growth and developmental spurt. I think they all do at some point. I've figured out that with food and weaning kind of things mainly, Ethan is about a month late! I think that's NORMAL though for some babies and not necessarily due to prematurity.
Try not to let the MW and HV worry you - only worry about the things that you genuinely are concerned with. Remember, some things that your LO seems late with might just be down to personality - I tended to link everything to Ethan's prematurity!!! I think we get very bogged down in month to month, when really, once they're 3, 4, 5, a month is nothing.

Hope you get some answers and some good vibes xxx

 

[Sugarmuppet]

Was at clinic today, first time I have been for ages, with the snow and working most days its not as easy as it once was to go!

Gaby has put on a huge amount of weight! From 14lb 4oz in October to 17lb 8oz today! From barely being on the chart she has taken a big jump up! Which is great! Her usual is 1 or 2 oz's a week!

The HV I saw today wasn't bothered at all about her lack of rolling or crawling. She said it will happen soon and its far to early to be worrying about it yet?!

She was more worried about Gaby's lack of babbling or speach and says we need to talk to her more. I talk to her all the time.

 

[Mumof42009]

As a mum with older premmies and my ds, hopefully can give you bit help
My 1st dd was born at 32 wks now 12yrs, in top sets for everything at school
2nd dd born at 28wks now 8, slow to walk and talk but caught up by 2 years apart from being small for her age.
3rd dd born at 32 wks now 4 walked at 18 months and first words around 12 months.
ds born at 35wks 15 months, walks across the room says few words

I wouldn't worry as long as she's putting on weight and is healthy

My hv blamed ds not talking much on his dummy which he only has when he is tired

 

[angelstardust]

Thats because HV are not SALT's (Speech and Language Therapists) and don't know jack about babies learning to talk.

Get a few books and sit and talk about the pictures, give her time to speak and any noise or interest is to be rewarded (oh well done!). Also repeate anything they say, even if it is just a sound.

At this age that is all you can do, and it is enough.

Her adjusted age is only 8 months. Plenty of 8 month olds don't babble yet.

Amber didn't babble till over 1 year. And now she is more interested in saying oh-oh and yelling dad (at the top of her lungs) than talking.

The biggest difference with DS2 (who has speech problems) wasn't the lack of babbling, but the lack of any attempt at communication. He also never made any of the faces you see them pulling. When you see babies sitting making 'oh my gosh!' faces, that is them practicing the shapes needed for speech. Or the grunting intake of breath some do or the high pitched scream. I was also told that I wasn't talking enough to him and that's why he didn't speak. Till I pointed out that in actual fact he has cerebral palsy that affects his facial muscles and tounge so he can't physically make thge correct shapes with his mouth to speak.

I think they just spout out the same old nonesence to make us feel bad. But they are wrong.

 

[Sugarmuppet]

All of a sudden (just like you all said!) Gaby seems to be making progress! If her speech comes on as quickly as her movement we are sorted! Yesterday she could not even get onto her knees and had only rolled a couple of times....

https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=484549493885

 

[angelstardust]

Awww Looking good!

Now, she just has to work out how to move her arms as well as her legs and then she will be off and you will be pulling your hair out!