When is it enough??

[TTC4+yrs]

When is it time to just give up??? Its been 6+ years, both completely healthly, did several rounds of clomid, temping, LOTS of BD'ing, L&D, etc, etc.... and the stupid B*TCH started this am....

I am so pissed off right now! So many people are getting pregnant around me. I am 32 years old, been with DH for almost 8 years now and NOOOOOOOOO I am not pregnant again..... I could almost cry right now.....

I HATE THIS!

Sorry for the vent but I am ready to just give up!

 

[RKW]

So so sorry for your pain. I wish I had the answers for you and all of us on here.
Have you any reasons for your problems? True iui or ivf?
All our hugs x

 

[Armywife84]

When you've either got your forever baby (thru whatever method) or you find inner peace in being childless not by choice. I believe that there's a life to be lived when LTTC comes to an end.

Just take it day by day, that's all you can do.

 

[TTC4+yrs]

Thank you for your kind words, I am feeling a bit better today. It is just so unfair! My heart just breaks when I read some of the stories here, I know that feeling all too well.

 

[wanna_bump]

although ive not been ttc for aslong as you i just wanted to say we all feel like that sometimes - we do everything possible and nothing seems to work. I found have a 'break' from doing opk's, temping ect useful and just bd for the fun of it then when you feel ready again continue perusing all avenues. When things arent going right I keep reminding myself that the longer I wait the more special and precious the child will be have that cry - get it out of your system and i hope you feel better soon x

 

[africaqueen]

Answer to your question- NEVER ;-) Where there is life there is hope as my dear mum used to always say(we lost her last year) she tried to conceive for 10yrs with my dad and then had me. me and dh have been ttc 3ys an had 2 ectopics, lost both tubes and had 2 failed ivf cycles and i will NEVER give up until my child is in my arms. Stay strong xxx

 

[ttcforever17]

hi ive been ttc for over 15yrs now and we are still trying ivf with immune treatments, we would go for surrogach but in my country its not done and even to do it abroad they wont let you bring ur baby home so the only hope we have is to keep doing transfers i have 5 frozen embies and this next try will be my 9th transfer and im dreadiing it as most times it dostn work and when it does its a m/c so im definately ready to give up but my dh isnt and wants to keep going, i can see thisi being a big issue after the next cycle ttcf

 

[aintlifegrand]

I hear ya! Last night my friend (doesn't know whats up) said, "You have been married 8 years and have no kids, that's like unheard of". It kind of sent me on a downward spiral.

 

[Kimiw]

When is it time to just give up??? Its been 6+ years, both completely healthly, did several rounds of clomid, temping, LOTS of BD'ing, L&D, etc, etc.... and the stupid B*TCH started this am....

I am so pissed off right now! So many people are getting pregnant around me. I am 32 years old, been with DH for almost 8 years now and NOOOOOOOOO I am not pregnant again..... I could almost cry right now.....

I HATE THIS!

Sorry for the vent but I am ready to just give up!

First of all . I know how you are feeling, it has been 6 years for me and DH. It seems so unfair that everybody around us seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat, most of them they were not even trying and at first are upset they are pregnant. Some days it feels like all the people who don't want children are the ones who end up with them and the ones who long for a child cannot have them. I can say I have felt like giving up so many times, but what is giving up? It is not like we are going to go on Birth control or anything because obviously it is not going to fix the problem. I think for us, giving up usually means we find a way to move on by other means of parenthood whether it be adoption or learning to live childless. Infertlity is so draining, mentally and physically and it is very hard for outsiders looking in to understand why we are the way we are sometimes.

We go through spurts of jealousy (which I HATE, this is one thing I wish would go away, because I truly want to feel joy for others). We spend a lot of time asking "why me, what have I done so wrong to deserve this?" I know exactally how you are feeling, and it really sucks, and it doesn't help when so many people in our lives don't understand what is upsetting us so much. I usually get the "there is always adoption" card, and even though I have nothing aginst adoption, I feel that one has to have their heart in the right place. I hope you feel better hun you are not alone!

 

[Kimiw]

I hear ya! Last night my friend (doesn't know whats up) said, "You have been married 8 years and have no kids, that's like unheard of". It kind of sent me on a downward spiral.

Oh hun! I am sorry that you had to take a hit like that. People, even if they don't realize there might be fertility issues, need to keep their mouths shut! I am sorry, but that is such a hit below the belt. I don't know where people get off thinking that they have the right to make comments like that because when a couple chooses to have children is NOBODY's business. The only people who should be involved is the man and woman TTC. Nobody has the right to poke their nose in other people's bedroom habits.

LOL sorry, when I read your post it set me off, it was almost like somebody said that to me. Again, I am sorry you had to put up with such a nasty comment. Even if your friend doesn't know what is up, she needs to keep her comments to herslef, your baby making plans are between you and OH.

 

[lilyV]

hey hon, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation *hugs*
my gf was trying for 7 years - DH has low sperm count. She tried a lot too and it suddenly and finally happened. Baby's healthy and she had a good pregnancy.

GL

 

[tattmum]

I feel for you deeply I was told I would never be able to conceive a baby at the age of 19 because f having a bicorinale shaped uteras and having several surgies from having numerious fibroid cyst removed from my ovaries that left tremendous amounts of scar tissue. But I will tell you I am now 31 year old and me and my ex husband gt married when we were 19. We never used protection or anything it took us 7 years to concieve our one child we have. so never give up please ! I wish the best for you !

 

[divenride]

Sorry you are having such a hard time,I feel for you I believe the decision to keep trying or not is very personal just like ttc to begin with. I have been struggling also for 6 years now along with many others. Please take some comfort from the ladies on here that you are not alone. As posted earlier I have also dealt with the people on the outside who ask repeatedly why we have no children yet. Makes for a very uncomfortable feeling & makes me want to tell them because I am broke....are you happy now

Anyways we are all here for you to vent whenever needed. Only you can decide if fighting on is what you need or want. There are no garanties in life as I have come to learn but I also hold on to the fact.....Miracles do happen & at the most unexpected times!!! So I fight on & hope to remain strong

 

[louisaL]

Hi DH and I have been trying for 4.5yrs now and I've had bloods done which say I have low progesterone and we're both obese so I think that might have some effect as well.

We made a call only this week to ask for DH to have some tests done and I've had a gastric bypass so my weight is working its way down which I hope will help as well!

I feel eventhough its been an awfully long time we're making some progress and feel as though we're back on the path for baby making. I spend patches of 6 months pushing it to one side and not stressing over it and then get back into it like I feel this month so I've told DH that once AF leaves in the next day or 2 that we will get back into some serious DTD

I'm thinking of getting some progesterone cream and giving that a try and Im taking pregnacare vits.

We'll never be able to afford IVF and DH doesnt like the idea of adoption but I don't think we would ever 'give up' so to speak we will just never use contraception and see if a mirical happens.

 

[CanadianMaple]

I'm there too and I haven't been through it for nearly as long as you. We have 0% chance of a pregnancy. I found out my LH was high and I am on the BCP for 19 days (plus another cycle in July because they screwed up my blood work) and the hormones are making me depressed and crazy. I feel like I am managing to do a year's worth of damage to my relationship in just a week. I am starting to think it isn't worth it, especially if this cycle fails, I have to do this all over again.

Suddenly I am questioning everything. Do I even want a baby? Will my marriage survive it? Am I defective? I know it must be the hormones, but I just want to quit and get my life back and pretend we didn't even TTC at all.

 

[lilyV]

I'm there too and I haven't been through it for nearly as long as you. We have 0% chance of a pregnancy. I found out my LH was high and I am on the BCP for 19 days (plus another cycle in July because they screwed up my blood work) and the hormones are making me depressed and crazy. I feel like I am managing to do a year's worth of damage to my relationship in just a week. I am starting to think it isn't worth it, especially if this cycle fails, I have to do this all over again.

Suddenly I am questioning everything. Do I even want a baby? Will my marriage survive it? Am I defective? I know it must be the hormones, but I just want to quit and get my life back and pretend we didn't even TTC at all.

I'm so sorry... *hugs*