When it doesn't go according to plan

[tinytabby]

Hi everyone, I gave birth to my LO on Monday.

I'd planned a home birth, to labour in water and to give birth in an optimal, pelvis-opening position, using hypno birthing techniques. Instead, I gave birth surrounded by the latest equipment, hooked up to an IV and monitor and reclined on a hospital bed.

The reason being that my waters went without contractions starting, and the waters had meconium in them. Because of this they were worried about the baby going into distress and so I had to be aggressively induced on a syntocin drip to get LO out fast.

I wanted to say that the moment I realised that I was not going to have the natural homebirth I wanted wasn't fun but it was amazing how quickly I got my head around it and started making the most of what was happening. The staff were wonderful and did what they could despite me not being able to move about freely because I was hooked up to the IV and monitor, not being permitted to eat or drink, and having to have more invasive examinations than I'd wanted.

3.30am I was put on the IV, cervix closed and high. 9am I'd dilated 2cm and they broke the rest of my waters. 1.30pm 8-9cm dilated. 2.17 she was born. I used gas and air and diamorphine for pain relief. (It was quite sore.)

I was permitted to have delayed cord clamping, which was important to me, but I wasn't allowed to deliver the placenta naturally - they gave me an injection for that.

I guess many women like me plan the perfect birth but at the end of the day the perfect birth is sometimes not the one you'd plan! Perhaps it's better to focus on perfect outcomes - ie healthy baby. No surgery, episiotomy or instrumental birth. Minimal tearing.

My message to anyone in this section is that planning for natural births will help you develop skills for hospital births. I found breathing and relaxation very useful, particularly early on.

My other message is don't be disappointed if it does have to be more medicalised than you planned. You can still have a good experience and remember the perfect outcome is perhaps more important than the details of the journey.

I hope this helps.

 

[MalcolmsMiss]

Thanks for this. I agree, whilst its great to plan out exactly how you want to birth and prepare readily for it, it is good to keep your mind and options open. I think it makes for a better overall experience, even if it isnt the way you wanted Glad to hear you got baby here safely, and my oh my without an epi!

 

[anita665]

Congratulations on having your LO!

It's good to be able to adjust quickly. You never know what nature has in store for you. That is partly why even though I plan to have a home birth, I am not making a birth plan and I refuse to think in too much detail about it.

 

[pimento1979]

Thank you for this post. I really beat myself up the first time I didn't get my homebirth and it took me a while to get over it.

 

[tinytabby]

Thanks everyone.

I hope you all have births where you feel confident and supported, and that the births of your babies are happy ones.

 

[ljo1984]

I was also transferred for mec!! Luckily I was already in established labour but the waters breaking induction etc happened with dd1! I got quite depressed after not getting my hb, but now I'm out of that I have to agree that it can still be a positive experience, I got my natural labour and birth and that's a massive deal to me after my first experience. Xxxx

 

[charlie15]

Thanks for this, it is great to hear someone been so positive having used what you have learnt in preparation for a natural birth to help.