When parents/inlaws hate the name...

[kissikiss]

Right - here goes.

The ONLY reason I 'hoped' for a girl was because my husband and I immediately agreed on a name. At the 20 week scan, sure enough, there was a little boy there and the name issue began.

I wanted Nicholas/Nicolas. Husband wanted Alexander. I didn't want Alexander because it was becoming so popular plus my cousin's boy is named Alexander, and my nephews middle name is Alexander. My husband didn't want Nicholas because he didn't want him called Nick (because our surname begins with a K, a bit alliterative to say Nick K____,) and he absolultely abhors the thought of a boy being called Nicky.

So after many sessions of "what about _____?" and going through various baby boy name books, we thought we'd go with Elijah.

I'm American, and on the 2008 Social Security registrations, it was the 22nd most common boys name. My husband is English and I live here in England.

Problem is, my inlaws hate it. They said it sounds Jewish (well we aren't, but who cares, there are soooo many names of Hebrew origin, including her son/my husband's name!!) So my husband is feeling like we are going to go with Nicholas - even though he's not overly keen. Plus here in the UK it's a really uncommon name and I don't want him being teased cause his name is "weird" - you wouldn't think that there would be that many name differences but there are.

I told him it's up to us to tell people that he's not Nick or Nicky, if our son wants to be called that when he gets older than that's his right - but like my brother being named Michael, he was NEVER Mike - ever. So a long name won't necessarily be shortened.

What would you do? Ignore your parents/inlaws completely? Value their opinion and reevaluate your name choices? My mom says do whatever we want (she likes all of our names ) but I just wouldn't want his other grandparents to look at him and know that they hate his name I would feel so bad.

Opinions welcome! Thanks!!

 

[Lilicat]

I love the name Nicholas but have taken it of my name list for the same reasons you are questioning it (not liking the nickname options).

I think a Nicholas has a very strong chance of being called Nick/Nicky somewhere along the line and unless he objects to it strongly when he is older there are some people who will always shorted a persons name.

It is a handsome name but unless you can live with the fact other people might use those nicknames it isn't the best choice for you.

Elijah is lovely as well, it is unusual but not unfamiliar, most people will know how to spell and pronounce it which is always helpful. At the moment they dislike the name however its much harder to dislike a name attached to someone they love, they will get used to it and come round once its applied to a cute baby. If they really have a huge problem with it they choose use a nickname like Eli (as long as you are ok with that).

 

[starshine78]

I think you should name your baby what you want. The inlaws will grow to love the name of their grandchild. I have a cousin (girl) who is called Teddie, have to admit I hated it at first. But little Teddie is now 4 years old and she has grown into her name, even though I would never call my little girl that, I couldn't imagine her with any other name so go with what you and your partner like best. You will be there all day trying to make everyone happy with your name choice's.... BTW I love both Nicholas and Elijah..

 

[babybel]

When I told my mum I was going to call my first DS Justice she said to me 'well dont expect me to call him that in public' and to be honest we still get some funny looks from the elder generation but family and friends are used to it now and couldnt imagine it being anything else

xx

Ps I think Elijah is a lovely name

 

[AP]

Screw their opinion, its your child, you concieved him/her, dont even let them influence you, its your choice!

my in laws didnt like he name alex for a girl, in fact they kept asking "not alexa, alexia...."

they're used to it now!

 

[kissikiss]

Thx girls, I know I shouldn't care! Gah! Fact is, I don't care what anyone else thinks EXCEPT the parents/inlaws.....I guess we have a few months to decide what we are going to do for sure.

I do think it's really really rude for people to say that they HATE the name though - as if choosing a name isn't a difficult enough decision! xx

ps my mil is already calling him Nicholas John (my husband's name, a family name)....well what if I want to call him some name from MY family....!? wtf. She means well, that's why I can't be too angry....but this is our first baby, their 4th grandchild (the first one for MY mom and dad, and I swear to god they would never EVER put any kind of pressure on us like they have!!) Why all of the pressure?!

 

[JadeyB]

Hey honey,

I agree with the others I think that you should choose what you like best for your LO.

One of the names we really like is Noah and MIL has said you can't call your little boy that it reminds me of the ark! I laughed to be honest and it made me want to call our LO that even more. I think DH is put off a little by his mum's comments as his favourite is now Isaac (I've only just broke it to him that she didn't like that either we shall see if he now goes off that name).

I really love Elijah, but i love shortening names and have already decided I would call him Eli, that is until I realized it didn't really go with our surname. Our surname begins with L - doh!

I think I would keep Nicholas and Elijah on the cards but maybe look at other names too. You never know you may find something you love even more.

xx

 

[venusrockstar]

I would ignore the inlaws opinion. It's your baby and your choice what you want to call him. We aren't telling anyone in our family the name until she's born, so that way they don't have a say

 

[bunnyg82]

Do not listen to anyone else please!! The choice is yours and your OH's alone and they will learn to love it. I love the name by the way

I remember when my sister came up with my nephews name, I wasn't so sure to start with but now it just seems right, so although they might not like it now, once the get to know your son, they will see it's right x

 

[Babeonthego]

I absolutely love the name Elijah and its ur baby. They will come round. I hate the fact that everyone else sticks their nose in. Its ur baby and ur decision. Go with what u like Its a gorgeous name

 

[Kitty23]

eugh completely ignore them!

I hate how people assume they have a right to comment on your baby names!

We've chosen Poppy for one of the twins and I've had a few hmmm little comments about it. It's your child at the end of the day! xxx

 

[ohmisslizzie]

This is exactly why we have choosen not to share the names we have picked out with other family members. Been there, done that!* Fact is everyone is going to have an opinion and its just going to cause frustration for you and DH- its your baby- you name him what you want!!* We have picked 3 girls names 3 boys names (staying on team yellow) and when we have our baby we will decide his/her name once we meet the baby- then announce the babys name- that way theres no grief- baby is already named- good luck- I would ignore what other family members say!!xx

 

[kissikiss]

Thanks again girls!

I like the idea of just announcing his name once he's here (Fact is, I'd tell my family, they are back in the States so I know it wouldn't get back to my inlaws ) Plus, like I said, my mom is really quite angry about us getting grief for it!

People are less likely to say something once it's official!

Thanks to everyone who's shared their stories!! xxx

 

[Joyzerelly]

I say it doesn't matter a jot what your parents in law think. This is your baby and its name should be your choice and yours (your husbands and yours) alone! I personally think Elijah is a beautiful name and I highly doubt he would be bullied because of it. I never knew anyone else with my name at school and the fact that my name wasn't common was never mentioned, its lovely to have a unique name... and it gets even better once you're an adult. I've always felt so grateful not to have had a common name, it made me feel unique.
Also whats wrong with Jewish sounding names? I'm not Jewish but many of my favourite names are Jewish.
The other thing is that you really can't stop people shortening your child's name, especially at school/uni. People will call him what they fancy and he may well become a Nicky or a Nick, since Nicholas, is too much for a mouthful for some people who, lets face it can be a bit lazy.

Its upto you but I would completely disregard what the parents in laws think. Once the baby is born, the name will become his and associated with him alone and they will grow to love it as much as they love him.

 

[LankyDoodle]

I looked after a Jeremiah and Isaac when I was nannying. Their father's father was a minister of a minority church, but they were not themselves particularly religious.

I say go with the name you like and announce it after the birth. It is not upto your inlaws/parents.

 

[Indy Princess]

I'd name him Elijah out of spite now (just kidding)

But it does annoy me when people think they have the right to tell parents what they may or may not name their own child.

I think Elijah is a beautiful name, it's unusual but not unknown so I doubt he'll be teased for it. It's a great name!

 

[DreaminOfBaby]

You guys should pick whatever you want, it's YOUR baby. Just because you chose a name doesn't mean it IS going to be shortened. My friend's bfs name is Michael and he is RARELY called Mike. My friend's cousin is Nicholas and he is NEVER called Nick or Nicky. I think it's what you start. If you shorten their name others will do it, if your adamant about them being called a certain thing then people will get it. It's just that once he's older he might decide to shorten his name himself. I don't know if you or your husband will like it but an alternative to Nick or Nicky is Nico.

 

[mommy2baby2]

I really like the name Nicholas too but it has become SO popular that if I had a son he'd be one of probably 6 in his class with the same name.

I do like the name Elijah a lot. I would have never associated it with being Jewish or Hebrew.

Honestly, it's your baby and you should name him whatever YOU and your hubby want. Screw the inlaws...are the raising him? No. Did they create him? No. They had the chance to name their kids, now it's your turn.

Screw what others think, in the end it's what makes you happy.

 

[kissikiss]

lol, I love you ladies!!

Indy Princess - yeah - that HAS come across my mind as well! Wish I had the balls to do something out of spite. It's nice to daydream though!

It's nice to hear some of you from the UK stating your opinions on Elijah - I thought it was really really weird over here or something! Guess I was probably wrong!

It's weird cause I have a tendency of wanting to please everyone with everything I do but deep down I know that it's impossible to please everyone regarding a name.

I think we are leaning towards Elijah now, thank you all again!

 

[kermie219]

I have to say that I totally understand your feelings...I am an American living in England and married into an English family and the name we chose for our daughter got a few raised eyebrows too (Reagan), and his dad said nobody will ever say it right blah blah blah...the point is it's your baby so name him what you like! I don't understand why people think it is their right to get so involved in such personal things! And me being the stubborn person I am would probably pick something other than John just to prove a point lol. good luck!!