When should I bring it up again?

[Flip flop]

Ok some of I my will know that DH changed his mind about ttc a few months ago (it was first mentioned in September).

I agreed to leave it for a while (probably about a month ago but seems like longer). I was hoping he would come round on his own without me pressuring him.

My question now is, when should I bring it up again? The whole whole thing is really bothering/upsetting me and I feel like I'm at the end of my tether now. I'm crying very often and get upset easily because of it all. I want to bring it up often but feel I should try and wait.

 

[aimee-lou]

I think you need to wait until you are both relaxed. Don't force the issue. My hubby brought it up on his own but prior to that i had planned on leaving it alone until we were all home in the Christmas holidays. Give yourself some space and time. Enjoy Christmas and make some plans and see how quickly the time passes. Set a timeframe personal to you and try to fill the time productively to take down barriers your oh may have. Lose weight, get fit, declutter the house, sell some stuff to get some savings together etc.

I think when we talked about TTC ds2 it was new years eve when we made the decision lol.....he still took 9m to conceive but still lol.

Good luck hun.

 

[xprincessx]

My OH and I decided to TTC back in May and in June (after 2 months no success) he changed his mind - personally I think due to nerves. I cried a lot for a few weeks and then dropped it. I didn't mention it again though until 31st October (Halloween! while out trick or treating with out 4 year old) and he was all for it, didn't take my pill that night and now we are actively ttc! Personally I would give him a little more time, I don't think my OH would have been ready if I had mentioned it any sooner than I did tbh but every man is different.

 

[MummyKP]

I feel like you flip flop, I wanna bring it up to DH to see if we can set a date but I don't think we'll get anywhere if I did, as I know how he'd react. I keep telling myself it may happen in January, but I'm scared to speak to DH about it in case he says 'June 2015' or something, which would absolutely kill me! I don't mean to bring it up as often as I do, I just want it so bad!!

 

[Flip flop]

I don't know what's happening now. Work has taken a turn for the worst and I might be looking for a new job. Might have to delay things a bit now anyway.

 

[MummyKP]

Oh sorry to hear that flip flop hope things sort themselves out!

 

[xprincessx]

so sorry to hear than hun x

 

[Flip flop]

Well I ended up bringing it up again because it might affect what I decide what I do about my job as I'd lose any maternity entitlement I've built up if I move. Didn't go too well, he just said he doesn't want to talk about it

 

[Angel_blues]

I think it maybe take a step back. Go about your life the way you would have before it was mentioned at all. Men are funny, they always seem to be a few steps behind. Just let him come to you. Keep yourself busy with other things and try not to think "maybe he just needs a few days..." He loves you and wants a family, when he is ready he'll bring it up and life will take its course!

 

[Flip flop]

Ok I've got an idea. At the moment neither of us are particularly happy for obvious reasons. At the moment we are using the withdrawal method and I am hoping each time that something accidentally happens and presumably he is hoping the opposite.

I am very reluctant to go back on the pill but do you think I should say I'll go back on as long as it can be reviewed in xxx months. We can then discuss when we will reconsider. That way I'm not sitting waiting for him to change his mind or a happy accident and I'll look forward to that date. And he will get a bit of a rest from it all.

What do you think? Going back on the pill is dead against my gut instincts but it might make sense and that way we are both compromising.

 

[aimee-lou]

It does sound like a good idea if you're both in a not-so-good place. What about non hormonal options. Condom or getting a copper coil fitted that you can then get removed when the time comes. Just thinking that would be less confusing for your system in the long run. OE maybe mini pill as that is less hormones and can be out of your system within a week.

I would give him a little time and then maybe bring it up as a positive. Say you want to have a holiday or get settled into your new job for example. I know it could be frustrating and upsetting but like you say the excitement may build for both of you.

Good luck x

 

[Flip flop]

It does sound like a good idea if you're both in a not-so-good place. What about non hormonal options. Condom or getting a copper coil fitted that you can then get removed when the time comes. Just thinking that would be less confusing for your system in the long run. OE maybe mini pill as that is less hormones and can be out of your system within a week.

I would give him a little time and then maybe bring it up as a positive. Say you want to have a holiday or get settled into your new job for example. I know it could be frustrating and upsetting but like you say the excitement may build for both of you.

Good luck x

I was taking the mini pill before anyway (cerazette) and my cycle resumes quite quickly after I stop it. I might bring this idea up because if we continue as we are I think he'll just keep pulling out forever! I think it might help me in the long run having a date to aim for (even if it means staying on it a bit longer after that date)

 

[Flip flop]

I'm not sure about that plan anymore, I ran it by a friend and she said be careful not to make it sound like an ultimatum.

I might just bringing it up more often so he doesn't see it as such a dreaded subject

 

[Angel_blues]

Yea but then he could see it as nagging and push it wayyyyy back...

I honestly think dropping it for a few months really is your best bet...

 

[Flip flop]

Yea but then he could see it as nagging and push it wayyyyy back...

I honestly think dropping it for a few months really is your best bet...

You're probably right but it's hard...

 

[xprincessx]

I really wouldn't go back on the pill. I was on cerazette for ages, came off it in may to ttc then OH changed his mind, I went back on it, came off in June and then back on it because he changed his mind again. It really screwed my body up even though coming off the first time was fine. I was bleeding for weeks and it was not pleasant.

Honestly I would just carry on doing what your doing and not bring it up for a few months. My OH was dead set against it, not even up for discussion in June and on Halloween night when I next mentioned it he was all for it and we have been successfully TTC since without so much as even a doubt in his mind. Just give him time hun he'll come round x

 

[Flip flop]

I really wouldn't go back on the pill. I was on cerazette for ages, came off it in may to ttc then OH changed his mind, I went back on it, came off in June and then back on it because he changed his mind again. It really screwed my body up even though coming off the first time was fine. I was bleeding for weeks and it was not pleasant.

Honestly I would just carry on doing what your doing and not bring it up for a few months. My OH was dead set against it, not even up for discussion in June and on Halloween night when I next mentioned it he was all for it and we have been successfully TTC since without so much as even a doubt in his mind. Just give him time hun he'll come round x

Thanks for the advice, I do think I'll go back on the pill. I think I just have to try and be patient. If I'm changing jobs it can't happen yet any way or I wouldn't get maternity pay.

 

[xprincessx]

Ok hun, you know your situation better than anybody behind a screen. Do what you think is best for you and your OH, hope it all works out well for you x

 

[Flip flop]

Ok hun, you know your situation better than anybody behind a screen. Do what you think is best for you and your OH, hope it all works out well for you x

Sorry I meant to say I 'don't' think I'll go back on the pill. Will just continue as we are for now but it's hard as I think about it all the time

 

[Angel_blues]

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