when to start???

[Rachel.P]

hi all, i know i'm asking this question early, as i only m/c on monday..
we're obviously not going to try straight away, but asap.
my question is, how long to you need to wait before ttc again?

my (ex) midwife (who has promised to be my m/w again next time) said after 1 normal period (not including m/c blood),
my dr said after you get a neg test, so hormone levels are normal again.
my consultant said that i could start ttc today (ew, obviously not!) ready for ovulating, and the only problem would be that i wouldn't know exact dates due to hormones..
she said as long as i feel emotionally and physically up to it..

but how long is "respectful" to the lost baby?
sounds ridiculous but i had no other way of putting it.
what i mean is, i'm not the kind of person who can just shrug it off like it doesn't count for anything. that baby was still "my baby", and even though it doesn't know, i want to show it some respect before we ttc again.

when did you all start ttc after a m/c?

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Aww big hugs hunny, I'm so sorry your going through this. Only you know when your ready to start trying again, if you feel ready then go for it, if you dont then maybe wait a while, if theres no medical reason you should wait then follow your heart.

I started straight away with all mine unless we were advised not too.xxx

 

[SugarFairy]

My Doc said I could start again whenever I was ready. I waited until I stopped bleeding, which was on Sunday, and I got a BFN on Tuesday. We're going to start again now but I think it really depends on when you personally are ready on all levels. Everyone deals with loss and grief in different ways x

 

[downwardsun]

I started right after the bleeding stopped. My HCG levels are still elevated though so it's not really getting me anywhere!

When you are ready, you'll know!

 

[Dazed]

So sorry for your loss hun!
Really and truely its when you are ready. Me personally, I started after 2 cycles to with the hopes my body would have sorted itself out by them, but there are may girls who didn't wait. If you feel emotionally and physically ready, than go for it!

 

[Pretty Please]

Hey Rachel,

Very sorry for your loss.....

I would say start as soon as you feel "ok mentally" if that is at all possible....

The NHS EPU said to me after one normal cycle but then I went to a private consultant the following time and he said start TTC ASAP !

Think it just depends when you both feel happy starting the process again.

Fingers crossed for next time

 

[kanga]

after my first I wanited 2 cycles as I wasn't emotionally ready

This time we have started straight away without waiting for proper af. Well, I guess we are ntnp as we dont know when I'm ovulating!

You can do it when you are ready. I dont think its disreapectful to bubs if you want to try straight way hun xx

 

[zippy4]

Hi hun,

Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss.
But I don't think it shows a lack of respect to your baby to start TTC straight away. I have lost 2 now and loved them both very much from the moment I got my BFP, they were my very much wanted babies, but we have made the decision to TTC straight away (as soon as bleeding stops) as we desperately want a child. I'm now in my 2WW.

You have to do what you feel is right. For me, waiting would have caused more heart break and physically I didnt want to miss out on being really fertile after my losses. Good luck with your decision hun xx

 

[bluecathy1978]

hi all, i know i'm asking this question early, as i only m/c on monday..
we're obviously not going to try straight away, but asap.
my question is, how long to you need to wait before ttc again?

my (ex) midwife (who has promised to be my m/w again next time) said after 1 normal period (not including m/c blood),
my dr said after you get a neg test, so hormone levels are normal again.
my consultant said that i could start ttc today (ew, obviously not!) ready for ovulating, and the only problem would be that i wouldn't know exact dates due to hormones..
she said as long as i feel emotionally and physically up to it..

but how long is "respectful" to the lost baby?
sounds ridiculous but i had no other way of putting it.
what i mean is, i'm not the kind of person who can just shrug it off like it doesn't count for anything. that baby was still "my baby", and even though it doesn't know, i want to show it some respect before we ttc again.

when did you all start ttc after a m/c?

Hi Hun,

Hope you are ok. I saw your last post re going for a scan as they think you may have been carrying twins but you haven't posted anything since.

Anyway to answer your question, I had a miscarriage just over 10 weeks ago and we started trying again about two weeks later and I got caught straight away.

The main reason I did want to try again is that you are more fertile after a miscarriage and I have had issues in the past regarding the length of time it took me to get pregnant.


Just do whatever you feel is best for you. You will know when the time is right as everyone is different.

All the best and big hugs xxxxx

 

[hippylittlej]

I MC on the 24th August which was just heartbreaking as you know, but by the time I stopped bleeding I felt ready to start again. I didn't do a pregnancy test to check my hormone levels I believe that what will be will be and so we just got on with it.

 

[Amygdala]

I'm in a similar situation to you. I had a mmc at 8+4 and started bleeding on Wednesday, which would have been 11+6. I'm going in for medical management later today. Right now we're both thinking that we want to try straight away, so we'll wait for the bleeding to stop, do a test and if that's negative give it another week and then ttc. For us, thinking about the future helps us cope with this, but everyone is different. If you feel you need to grieve for your LO first, then take your time. I firmly believe that you'll know what's right for you once you've come out the other end of this. And just look at cases like Bluecathy's. She's had a recent loss, and now she has that beautiful 10 week ticker! Brought tears to my eyes earlier because it means there's hope.

 

[Rachel.P]

hi girls. thanks for the support, i felt silly talking about "respecting" my past peanut (as my OH says)..

bluecathy1978, i had my second scan, what they though may have been a twin was actually a second (but empty) sac. so i *could* of had a twin in there if all went well
even more heartbreaking to know that i've lost one AND lost the chance of a second


BUT...
i had no idea you were more fertile after a M/C.. i would of thought that my Dr, knowing we were ttc, would have told us that!!

so. we think we'll wait for bleeding.(hopefully last day today, it seems) and start ttc Monday

fingers crossed girls!!