When to tell about our rainbow?

[OliveBay]

I know I've read posts about this before but can't remember who did what.

I just wanted to ask all the ladies who have had their rainbow babies or who are carrying rainbows right now, when did you tell work, your parents, other family members and friends that you are/ were pregnant?

I'm planning to tell my mum and dad this weekend, then probably my boss and a couple of close friends/ colleagues in the next few weeks. I'm just worried that people may start to guess as I'm still quite bloated and I think I may start to properly show quite soon if it carries on at this rate. I'm happy to just tell little white lies to some people if they were to ask (would anyone be that rude or cheeky anyway?!) but am thinking I'd maybe like the people close to me to know before my 12 week scan. Last time we only told my parents and my brother and sister in law before our first scan at 13 weeks, but this time just feels different. I'm just thinking that if anything goes wrong, I may still want some of my close friends and family to be there to support me.

 

[jojo23]

hey hun! i totally know how your feeling and i was the same. i waited until after my 12 weeks sca to tell my mother and father only because my mums health isnt the best and i wanted to make sure that at least for that stage everything was ok. but i did tell my best friends when i got my bfp just so i wouldnt go mad lol.
i told the girls in work and my boss when i was about 15 weeks as i just couldnt hide it anymore with bloating etc.

everyone else didnt matter to me lol neighbours etc im sure just found out by word of mouth!! i just decided to tell the people who meant the most to me and then after that i didnt mind how people found out.

i will say though when i told my mum and dad they both said they knew lol and the girls in work had twigged it too so maybe people will guess but wont be cheeky enough to say it!!!!

Good luck hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[dancareoi]

I know I've read posts about this before but can't remember who did what.

I just wanted to ask all the ladies who have had their rainbow babies or who are carrying rainbows right now, when did you tell work, your parents, other family members and friends that you are/ were pregnant?

I'm planning to tell my mum and dad this weekend, then probably my boss and a couple of close friends/ colleagues in the next few weeks. I'm just worried that people may start to guess as I'm still quite bloated and I think I may start to properly show quite soon if it carries on at this rate. I'm happy to just tell little white lies to some people if they were to ask (would anyone be that rude or cheeky anyway?!) but am thinking I'd maybe like the people close to me to know before my 12 week scan. Last time we only told my parents and my brother and sister in law before our first scan at 13 weeks, but this time just feels different. I'm just thinking that if anything goes wrong, I may still want some of my close friends and family to be there to support me.

Hi, this is a difficult one.

When I became pregnant with my 3rd I had a MMC at 8 weeks gestation, before this happened we told close family we were expecting, but did not tell our 2 children.
When I became pregnant again, I did tell my parents fairly early, but the only reason i did that was because i was about 7 weeks pregnant and my mom, dad and sister & family were at my house for mom`s 70th birthday. I wasnt in good humour as i was bleeding heavily due to a blood clot and my mom sensed something was wrong.
We then told everyone else after 13 week scan.
When i became PG last year i told my mom and dad when I was about 11 weeks.
We then had a nuchal scan at 12-13 weeks, all was good. We left it another week and then told our 2 kids (10 & 7) youngest too young to understand.
Then after christmas when I was 16 weeks we told everyone, only to find a week later baby had died 3-4 weeks earlier.
In a way it has helped with everyone knowing, as you get support from family and friends. Also i could cry in front of the kids and they understood why, last time I couldn`t cry in front of them as they didn`t know, so that was hard.
however, this time when i was on the school run people would come up to me and ask me how i was and say how sorry they were, so that would upset me.

So my advice is...... i don`t have any advice!!

i think you need to do whatever feels right for you.

Sorry, i haven`t really helped have I?

 

[mhazzab]

Hi Sally, we told parents a couple of days after my BFP, although mainly did it so early as my dad was dying and only had a few days left.
A couple of weeks later we told the close friends who we had 'invited' to our daughters' funeral, thinking that they had been such a great support we would want it again if something bad happened.
I went back to work from mat leave when I was seven weeks, I told my boss at about 9 weeks as I was struggling with being back and needed to take more time off, she offered me extra leave but I felt it was only fair that she knew part of the reason I was struggling was that I was pregnant.
Told a few work colleagues i cared about after my 12 weeks scan and figured the rest could find out when they find out. And finally felt brave enough to put it on Facebook at 20 weeks after last weeks scan. Mainly because I wanted to share the 'rainbow babies' explanation so it made sense to out myself at the same time!
Sorry for rambling but this kind of explains my thinking! Xxx

 

[Neko]

I told my mother and MIL as soon as I found out. My MIL lives with us, so it would be hard to hide. Of course I can't tell MIL and not my own mother. After that I told 2 close friends at around 8 weeks. Mostly to answer the "why aren't you drinking" question. After that I didn't tell anyone until I was 5 months and starting to show a bit. I was so hurt by the "untelling" when I miscarried I thought it was better to say nothing.

I must have forgotten to tell some people at church though. In early December last year I was about 37 weeks pregnant. One lady looked at me and asked if we were having a play. I had to tell her I was pregnant and not playing Mary in a nativity play.

 

[Hellylou]

I told my mum straight away, and a few good friends, and gradually over the weeks have told more people, with work at about 9 weeks, plus MIL at about 7. I haven't told wider family yet, and my children don't know. The big announcement has yet to be made. As I have now had my booking in scan at 10 weeks and there wont be any more til 20 weeks, I think it's going to be a case of waiting until I feel that everything is going to be ok this time. I am not sure exactly when that will be. I started bleeding last time from 13 weeks onwards, just after I had started sharing the news. So I guess if I reach 16 weeks without any obvious problems, I might feel a bit more confident, but ultimately I think it's going to be 20 weeks for the wider announcement.

It's good to have people close to you on board as early as possible, I think. As they all know my history, they are all rooting for me this time around and I know I have that support there. I just don't want to tell my daughter yet as I know she will be excited and also worried, and I haven't quite got myself into a confident place just yet. It's certainly getting better with each week, though, and my scan was very reassuring.

 

[Nikki_d72]

I'm now wondering this very same thing, thanks for asking this Sally and thanks for all the replies, girls.

It's telling my 8YO DD that's troubling me the most - I want to shield her from any more pain or dissapointment but I also know it will make her world to know we have a rainbow cooking and I don't know how easy it will be to hide it from her, she's a pretty canny wee thing - not much gets past her these days! I also promised her she could come to my scan last time but didn't get the 12 week one so the first one (and only one) she got to was the one where they were already in trouble - it would be nice to take her to an earlier one this time (though not the early ones - they will be transvaginal, she'd be horrified!) and watch her face light up. I should know by then that all is well so far from the early scans and if I've learned anything by this it's to "sieze the day" as there are no guarantees at any stage anyway.

I also think I'll need to tell work quite soonish as my job involves a lot of rushing around on my feet and I could probably do with some help and also won't be lifting any kegs or anything. I'm also going to start taking in my own dinners as there are so many things I can't eat and I don't want to explain but I need to be sure that everything is safe. For some reason I don't want to tell them though, I've no idea why as they were very supportive last time. I think it's just the feeling of history repeating, maybe I'm getting superstitious in my old age! I also don't want to see the worry in their faces, does that make sense?

Sorry, that turned into my usual ramble....xxx

 

[KamIAm]

HI!!

I too was wondering the same thing.... I just got my BFP today....

No one knows, except you fine ladies... LOL.. Not even my poor OH yet... I'm having mixed emotions about sharing this amazing news... Super excited to shout out to the world, to share this amazing miracle BUT also terrified of my history.... I too like Nikki mentioned, want to shelter my children from anymore hurt or confusion but also want them to share in this excitment... Wow, how things change once you have experienced a loss...

Sorry I wasn't much help - a bit clueless.... Xxxx!!!

 

[blav]

HI!!

I too was wondering the same thing.... I just got my BFP today....

No one knows, except you fine ladies... LOL.. Not even my poor OH yet... I'm having mixed emotions about sharing this amazing news... Super excited to shout out to the world, to share this amazing miracle BUT also terrified of my history.... I too like Nikki mentioned, want to shelter my children from anymore hurt or confusion but also want them to share in this excitment... Wow, how things change once you have experienced a loss...
I
Sorry I wasn't much help - a bit clueless.... Xxxx!!!

Ahhhhhh! I didn't know this!!! Congrats!!