When to tell an autisic child

[mummy2o]

My son is 5 and will be almost 6 when he gets his first brother or sister in April next year. I am wondering when to tell him. He has a brain of a 2 and a half year old in most areas but excels in maths, science etc. I don't want to tell him to early so he's waiting for ages, yet I don't want to tell him to late so he doesn't have time to adjust. I think he'll be fine with a new baby as he quite likes them and I honestly think if I just bring it back from the hospital he'd be ok with it. He's a very placid boy and adapts easily, but I want to make it somewhat special for him also.

 

[Creative]

My eldest has autism too and is a science nerd!! We told him quite early on at the same time as telling other people. I told him that he was going to have a baby, but would have to wait a long time until all the leaves had fallen off the trees and it would nearly be Christmas.
He accepted that and I didn't go on and on about it as he would have hated that, but we did periodically talk about how the leaves were still on the trees and that in time they'd turn a beautiful colour and drop off.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I am glad you posted this as I was going to post same thing.

My son is 8 and I also have a 6yr old DD. There is 21mths between him and DD so obv he cant remember life without her. He has never had to deal with a new sibling!

I have added into conversation about babies, mummys tummy, etc and he seems to be ok. He told me his main thing he disliked about babys was that they cry so I explained that babys only cry if they need something, just when when he shouts if he wants me haha.

I didnt want to say TO much as he will get anxious. I dont think I will tell him properly till 20 week scan or at least wait as long as possible as he will just get anxious about me being in hospital (not allowed HB) x

 

[mummy2o]

Thanks for the advise. I'll tell him after the first scan as with everyone else.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I brought some newborn nappies yesterday and my son wrinkled up his nose when he saw them lol. x

 

[twins33]

I have two that are Autistic, and we waited to tell them when my belly started showing, I sat down with the youngest and had to show him a video about breast feeding, because he thought he could use them for milk, so i showed him a video about it and he was good after that, one of mine is a math whiz and the other is art music and puzzles, the youngest was diagnosed at 5

 

[Menelly]

Tyler was 13 when I got pregnant with Kesslie, and he'd been nagging both me and his father for YEARS that he wanted to be a big brother, so I was pretty sure he'd be happy about it.

I told him at about 17 weeks along, told him his baby sister would be here in March but we didn't know what day yet.

He was extremely excited and adores his little sister, he created a calendar with a countdown, etc. Now he counts down the months till she can (hopefully!) crawl, and walk, and talk etc. It's kind of adorable.

 

[mummy2o]

It might go easier than first thought. He just got into playing dolls and enjoying playing daddy so once the scan is done I might ask him if he would like to do it with a really baby. He's very gentle with the doll and doesn't threw them, feeds them and puts them to bed. Its pretty sweet to watch.

 

[Annie77]

We have those simulated dolls for teenage education but I borrowed one for a patient who has a son with ASD (9yrs ld) and used to explain crying/feeding/ holding safely etc. also she showed him YouTube videos of babies crying, laughing, feeding, nappy changing.