When will I be able to leave the house??

[WanaBaba]

Hi
My LO is 13 days old and we are still getting the hang of breastfeeding. We've had quite a few problems, very sore cracked bleeding nipples, her not latching on properly, me having not much clue what I'm doing and now I seem to be developing mastitis. But things are getting better as I can get her to latch on most of the time now, and my nipples are healing nicely. Just got to try and get rid of the mastitis before it gets any worse! (Any tips?)

I can't believe how much she feeds though, I have tried to leave the house a few times and failed! I feed her get sorted to leave and then she wants back on the boob!

I am still getting the hang of feeding in the house so can not imagine doing it out in public yet, but my older daughter has been invited to two birthday parties at the end of the week and I have to go to the doctors on thurs, and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to leave the house?? Also people are wanting to come round to see baby but I'm constantly topless feeding so not sure how to manage this either??

When were you ladies first able to leave the house etc?

Today this has been us....

7am - 9.30 feed
9.30 - 11 baby slept I pumped then sorted older child with breakfast etc.
11am - 1pm feed
1pm - 1.30pm baby slept
1.30pm - 6pm baby fed for almost 5 hours?! With only 1 break for nappy change!
6pm - 7pm baby slept
7.15 - 9pm feed
It's now 9.45 and she is asleep but not sure how long for but think I'm in for a long night of feeding!

Also with feeding so much I am feeling really guilty about neglecting my older daughter. OH has been really great looking after her while I feed but it was his first day back at work today so it's now just the three of us and I was basically stuck on the sofa all day today so dd1 watched a bit too much tv! But obviously I don't want this to be every day so how can I manage to feed LO whilst still caring for older daughter?

 

[pinkpolkadot]

I felt this way with DD1 but now with DD2 I just go for it and it is is fine!

I try and get everything ready and then give her a feed and leave the house right after. I put her in her wrap or carrier and she will have a sleep while we are out which means she will go a bit longer between feeds. I will also NIP if she gets hungry, I usually find a cafe or something. I didn't like NIP with DD1 or feeding in front of guests which made it all very stressful so vowed I would do it this time. I just use 2 tops or a muslin, it helps to have a practice in the mirror and then the more you do it the easier it gets

 

[irish_cob]

It will settle down, she won't always feed for so long, but I do remember the early days of feeding her for ages, getting in the car, driving for 10 mins and her crying within 5, then me having to sit in the car and feed her again for the next 30 mins. I spent a lot of time feeding in the car, supermarkets which were my main destination don't really have anywhere comfortable to sit and feed for half an hour at a time! It's better now, she can wait longer for a feed and is more easily distracted when we're out and about looking at things so trips are easier. It seems like forever now, but the months will fly by and dd1 will be fine, a few months of a bit more telly than normal wont kill her x

 

[cflower04]

My baby is 4.5 weeks old and already I can see an improvement in his feeding habits so stick with it... It does get better. The first few times I left the house, someone came with me for moral support. Is this an option for you?! On occasion I've had to let him cry for a few mins if we're going somewhere for an appointment... Usually he'll stop crying in the car so it's not so bad.

 

[dinosaur2010]

With my first baby the baba sling was a godsend for this very reason. I'd put her in and feed while out and about! Was discreet for out in public too (got it off amazon)
I literally could not put my dd1 down for 2 mins, she wanted to be by my boob 24/7 for the first 3 months!
My dd2 is different I could put her down to sleep and she'd go 3 hour stretches without feeding in the early days which was awesome!
Id def recommend a sling, there are a few good ones out there

 

[Night Flower]

I was able to leave the house just a week after my C section. But just to go to the store.

At 3weeks, I was no longer on pain meds and we went to the beach. She fed constantly and I pumped too.

It does get better But even right now at 7weeks old, I pretty much stay home all day. Sometimes I can get in a short walk. Often times I wait for my hubs to come hoke and we go to the lake for a couple hours in thr evening, beating her evening fussiness and she sleeps and nurses contently.

 

[mrs.ginger]

A wrap and carrier changed my life haha. I like the wrap for home and an easy buckle carrier for out and about. I feed her in it and it has a hood so no one is the wiser! Good luck! It does get easier. Promise.

 

[ChaiTea]

My only advice is to get that mastitis diagnosed and get on meds asap!
I was terrified to BF in public or around anyone except my husband and mom at first. I had lots of trouble and had to have the boob in full view and latch/relatch a few times before things were good. NO WAY would I have been comfortable doing that in public. I practiced with the cover at home, would go out to the car to nurse and after about 3 months I was okay with nursing at a restaurant table or anywhere else with the cover. Some will say forget the cover, just feed your baby, but I am way too modest for that.

 

[WanaBaba]

Well the mastitis (or may have just been a blocked duct?) seems to be a lot better but now my right breast seems to be developing something and I think it could actually be mastitis as it is really noticeably red, underneath the nipple. It is also hot and has a bit of a burning pain.

I managed to go round a friends house for lunch today! LO fed a lot while we were there but I managed to do it without exposing too much, wearing a nursing bra. And managed to master feeding without all the cushions!

 

[armywife11]

I will second have a doctor diagnose that mastitis and get on some antibiotics stat if its bad enough that they are needed. I had it once (prior to nursing oddly enough) and ended up on antibiotics for a few days.

Like others said it will calm down those first few weeks were crazy but I know I got out even for just a little bit pretty early on. You will settle into a rhythm.

 

[Skywalker]

While it's true newborns feed quite a lot and can cluster feed because of growth spurts, it can also be true that a newborn nurses frequently just for the comfort. I resisted this idea for weeks, but a friend bought my son Mam pacifiers and WOW what a difference! I was constantly feeding and had trouble being able to do anything else. Constantly feeding and pumping will screw up your milk supply and lead to things like clogs and mastitis, so it's important to establish the supply based on real demand and real hunger. Your baby should be satiated with 20 minutes of active breastfeeding per side, then take your baby off and try to offer a pacifier when she cries and only feed when you get legitimate, real hunger cues. This helped me SO MUCH. My son started only breastfeeding when he was truly hungry and stopped using me as a pacifier, and he's 3 months now - we breastfeed every 2 to 2.5 hours now, sometimes 3 hours at night. Don't worry, it gets better, but don't over-stimulate your milk supply by feeding and pumping all the time, that's my best advice for mastitis. Also, get on a supplement of sunflower lecithin by Now Vitamins. It helps thin the milk so it doesn't clog as much. It's been a godsend for me. I hope this helps! Message me if you have any questions!

 

[patch2006uk]

While it's true newborns feed quite a lot and can cluster feed because of growth spurts, it can also be true that a newborn nurses frequently just for the comfort. I resisted this idea for weeks, but a friend bought my son Mam pacifiers and WOW what a difference! I was constantly feeding and had trouble being able to do anything else. Constantly feeding and pumping will screw up your milk supply and lead to things like clogs and mastitis, so it's important to establish the supply based on real demand and real hunger. Your baby should be satiated with 20 minutes of active breastfeeding per side, then take your baby off and try to offer a pacifier when she cries and only feed when you get legitimate, real hunger cues. This helped me SO MUCH. My son started only breastfeeding when he was truly hungry and stopped using me as a pacifier, and he's 3 months now - we breastfeed every 2 to 2.5 hours now, sometimes 3 hours at night. Don't worry, it gets better, but don't over-stimulate your milk supply by feeding and pumping all the time, that's my best advice for mastitis. Also, get on a supplement of sunflower lecithin by Now Vitamins. It helps thin the milk so it doesn't clog as much. It's been a godsend for me. I hope this helps! Message me if you have any questions!

I'm sorry, and I don't like to be so blunt, but this is not good advice. Delay feeds, limit their duration and introduce a dummy? I'm glad you've found something that works for you, but this really could be a recipe for disaster in a baby with weight issues, a mom with borderline supply issues, or even just someone wanting to build a robust supply.

Demand feed. Crying is a late hunger cue. Feed as soon as baby stirs if they will take it. You can't overfeed a breastfed baby, but you can underfeed. Draining the milk frequently will also help prevent mastitis. You want to keep your breasts as empty as possible so there's no milk in there to cause problems.

Also, just because this is a cultural bugbear of mine-a baby doesn't use you as a dummy. a baby uses a dummy as a breast. Babies want to be latched on because that's where they feel safe, because it encourages good supply and because it encourages good weight gain. I have no issue with dummies used, but they shouldn't replace comfort feeds and nursing sessions. To help you all get some sleep, then fair enough. To stretch out feeds? No. They're only tiny once. And I guarantee you'll never regret feeding them 'too often' (for the record, my eldest fed every hour or so until 6 months and my youngest already goes 4-6 hours sometimes overnight without a feed. I haven't treated them any differently. Some babies are just more frequent feeders)

 

[patch2006uk]

No baby should feel 'true hunger'. They were fed constantly through a tube directly into their stomach only a few weeks ago. They will learn soon enough what hunger is. They don't need a forced lesson that just makes them cry and doesn't teach them anything anyway, because they're incapable of understanding cause and effect.

And since when is comfort not a legitimate need? Do you never want a cuddle or a back rub or your hand holding just for comfort? Or a nice coffee, just because you can? Or do you make sure you're dehydrated and really thirsty before getting a drink? Remember that milk is food and drink for a baby, and in the hot weather, they're thirsty. Would you want to wait 2-3 hours for a drink if you just need a quick thirst quenching mouthful of something? Or is that not 'true thirst'? If a dog was thirsty, would you give it a sip of water from a bowl? Why would a tiny human's needs not be met as quickly, just because they don't fit in with how we think a baby should behave and how often they 'should' need milk?

 

[patch2006uk]

Sorry OP, to answer your question. Being out just gets easier with practice. Do you have a local library? Somewhere you know will have chairs, be happy for you to just sit? First place I took mine this time was to caffe Nero-ds1 had a babycino while I fed the baby, and then we came home. Nothing too ambitious, just enough to get over that feeling before you first go out. As for actually leaving the house, I used to get everything ready except the baby, then dress him and feed him and then go as soon as possible after he finished. I got the hang of feeding in the sling this time around, so I just feed on the go now, but my eldest never could manage it, so a good leaving the house plan was a must. You'll learn pretty quickly where the best benches are, where has the best distractions for your eldest and where you feel comfortable.

I don't love nursing covers generally, but I did use them in the very first weeks with ds1. They were a good way of bridging the gap between home and in the open feeding. Practising in front of a mirror is a good too-you'll probably be surprised at how little is really on show.

Give yourself a pat on the back for even considering leaving the house on your own with a tiny newborn and another child. You will get the hang of it soon. Don't worry about a little tv while you're still finding your groove, although I really recommend watercolour paints and a colouring book as a very quick activity to set up and clean up, as all you need is a brush and a jar of water. Many pictures have been painted since ds2 was born in our house! You're doing fine, just get through each day as it comes. And, before you know it, you'll be 10 weeks down the line and wondering what you were worried about

ETA one last thing after a re-read. Do you need to pump for any reason? Do you have to be separated from baby soon and so need milk in the freezer ready? If not, put the pump away for a bit and enjoy that time with your eldest. A gap won't hurt your supply, and you'll probably appreciate the break from feeling like a milk machine. Obvs if you're getting uncomfortably full, then hand express a little off for comfort, but don't go mad as you will cause an oversupply, which can cause big problems down the road. You don't need to pump unless you and baby are planning a separation soon. And if you are in need of a stash, then could you pump one side while baby feeds from the other? But ideally you'll be able to put the pump away for now x

 

[WanaBaba]

Sorry OP, to answer your question. Being out just gets easier with practice. Do you have a local library? Somewhere you know will have chairs, be happy for you to just sit? First place I took mine this time was to caffe Nero-ds1 had a babycino while I fed the baby, and then we came home. Nothing too ambitious, just enough to get over that feeling before you first go out. As for actually leaving the house, I used to get everything ready except the baby, then dress him and feed him and then go as soon as possible after he finished. I got the hang of feeding in the sling this time around, so I just feed on the go now, but my eldest never could manage it, so a good leaving the house plan was a must. You'll learn pretty quickly where the best benches are, where has the best distractions for your eldest and where you feel comfortable.

I don't love nursing covers generally, but I did use them in the very first weeks with ds1. They were a good way of bridging the gap between home and in the open feeding. Practising in front of a mirror is a good too-you'll probably be surprised at how little is really on show.

Give yourself a pat on the back for even considering leaving the house on your own with a tiny newborn and another child. You will get the hang of it soon. Don't worry about a little tv while you're still finding your groove, although I really recommend watercolour paints and a colouring book as a very quick activity to set up and clean up, as all you need is a brush and a jar of water. Many pictures have been painted since ds2 was born in our house! You're doing fine, just get through each day as it comes. And, before you know it, you'll be 10 weeks down the line and wondering what you were worried about

ETA one last thing after a re-read. Do you need to pump for any reason? Do you have to be separated from baby soon and so need milk in the freezer ready? If not, put the pump away for a bit and enjoy that time with your eldest. A gap won't hurt your supply, and you'll probably appreciate the break from feeling like a milk machine. Obvs if you're getting uncomfortably full, then hand express a little off for comfort, but don't go mad as you will cause an oversupply, which can cause big problems down the road. You don't need to pump unless you and baby are planning a separation soon. And if you are in need of a stash, then could you pump one side while baby feeds from the other? But ideally you'll be able to put the pump away for now x

Thanks for your replies, lots of great information there and I totally agree with feeding on demand I don't think I could ever leave my baby to cry knowing she was hungry or thirsty and sometimes she is deffinately only sucking for comfort but I just let her get on with it because I love being able to comfort her


I actually returned the pump this morning (we hired it from local pharmacy) as I havnt used it for a few days, I was using it to help with the mastitis which thankfully didn't turn into anything too serious and has dissapeared after making sure LO has lots of feeds and making sure she was emptying my breasts. I was also using it for when LO had went a few hours between feeds as I was finding it very painful to latch her on when they were so full. But I was told this was not a good idea so stopped doing that but I am still finding it hard to latch her on when they're so full, I can't quite get the hang of hand expressing.

Well it's been 5 days since starting this thread and I can honestly say things are getting better, I fed for the first time in public today and it really wasn't that bad! And I found that with a nursing bra not that much was on show so didn't need a cover. LO still feeds a lot but think we are over the growth spurt as it has gotten a little better with her sleeping inbetween feeds now.

 

[patch2006uk]

Fab update glad to hear things are going well for you all. Hope things keep improving and hope you find your own rhythms soon xx