When will you tell next time?

[Stepmomtobio]

So I had a mcg on the 12th. We had only told my mom and a few friends because I had pregnancy questions. So when it ended I had to tell everyone. I know people wait so they don't have to give the bar news if a mcg happens but having the support made all the difference.
So my question, on your next pregnancy after a loss do you tell? Who dobyou tell? And when?

 

[mom and ttc]

with my first i told everyone right away! as soon as i found out!
with this one my husband wanted to wait, nobody knew. beside my best friend.
well people guess it, asked my husband about it the day after i miscarried, had to call my mom and tell her and he told his. everybody knows i miscarried by know, i need the support! Well why did we keep it a secret in the first place???
next time i will tell everyone right away, that i know people will fell part of it if i miscarry again.

 

[kiki04]

I wont be telling anyone until I go into labour if I can




I dont even know if Im joking or not

 

[shinona]

With my ds, we didn't tell anyone until I was 10 weeks (although my mum had guessed before that). With my mc, we told my parents, my sister and our closest friends as I started to bleed within a day of my bfp and it dragged on for weeks. Really not sure for next time. I liked it just being us who knew for a while but if the worst happens again, I want my nearest and dearest to know.

 

[CHILLbilly]

My 1st MC was a surprise pregnancy...( i shake my head now how i didn't know til 9 weeks) and ended up natural MC same day i founn out
I told mom sister and very close friends..about MC

3 years later..BFP......told my special BandB friends...LOL....my best friend on other side of country ( who has had 5 MC and is my #1 support).. and 1 or 2 ppl n town knew....
when i got to 8 weeks i found out I had a problem with implant....baby was at top of uterus...maybe inside tubes.....
So now here i am.....family doesn't know the turmoil i have been thro only because i didn't include them in the good news when i found out i was pregnant!
So NEXT time i am telling family asap......and if anything bad happens...at least they can share the happiness as well....

its up to you and your OH.......

 

[SatansSprite]

With my DS, it wasn't planned and OH and I were afraid of reactions, so we didn't tell anyone. Our families both 'guessed and asked' us at around 24 weeks.

With this one we lost we had felt happier, and more comfortable with the idea and so we started sharing the news at about 10 weeks, and we told everyone we knew...family, friends, bowling league, etc.

This next time, I think we'll tell immediate family and leave it just at that as long as we can. Since my miscarriage was at 18 weeks when I was starting to really feel comfortable with it, I don't know if I'll ever feel safe in it, and it was soooo hard to have to share the news we'd lost the baby. If something happens in this one, the fewer people we have to tell, the better.

 

[addy1]

I will tell my sister first, because we always tell each other first!! LOL. I will tell immediate family as soon as I have an u/s to make sure that everything is okay. We are not good at keeping secrets

If something were to happen again, it is not going to hurt any less if people do not know. I needed the support and love when going through my miscarriage.

 

[Nat0619]

Hi

We had told all close family and lots of friends, we basically told everyone who we would want the support of anyway if anything bad happened (which unfortunately it did). I never regretted telling them as I did need the support and everyone was brilliant So I think I would do the same again.

The only thing I do wonder is whether to wait until after we've at least had an early scan and seen a heartbeat this time - I just don't want anyone getting excited until we know there is a this time. We got to 12 week dating scan with no signs of any problems to discover had died at about 6 weeks x

 

[m2m2009]

i think i will be waiting til after 20 weeks i hope next time to tell anyone unless i start showing and can't hide it. but with my 2nd trimester loss at 18wks2days i was already showing around 12 weeks. so it was hard to hide. the only ones that may find out as soon as we do will be immediate family and some close friends. but other then that i will leave it til 20 weeks tio tell ppl on fb and such i think .

hopeing and praying for s speedy BFP and a sticky bean next time..

 

[Cypress]

We had a miscarriage at the beginning of June at 12 weeks. We hadn't told anyone we were pregnant - were waiting until after the 12-week scan, which unfortunately did not turn out as planned (like Nat0619, there were no signs of problems up to then, but the baby had died at 6 weeks - so sorry for your loss Nat0619 x). So we also haven't told anyone about the miscarriage. I guess it's a bit lonely not being able to talk about it with anyone except each other, but in my case I would rather deal with it all myself than spread the sadness around. I totally understand people who want the support from close family and friends, it's just a personal thing, I'd rather deal with it alone (with hubby).
Next time I will wait until well past 12 weeks! Maybe 16-20? As long as I can get away with it!

 

[jamhs]

I'm turn between the two, wanting to keep it secret for as long as possible, but also wanting the support from everyone that I didn't have because we hadn't told anyone. I really don't know! Hope we all get a bfp soon though and find out what we'll do then!

 

[debzie]

With my dd we told everyone straight away and all was well. With my mmc in november I only told work (because I have to) and close friends and of course my mam, dad brother. I was great full for the support. This time I waited until I was after 6 weeks when I had my first scan to tell close friends and family. I have told many more that I have miscarried so again I do not know why I kept it a secret in the first place? x

 

[seasidetides]

I think I would tell those closest to me as a few days after I find out. I can't imagine being able to keep my happiness to myself!
As things progress and the baby is still ok, I'd tell more and more people. After the mc I'd be kinda hesitant, as I wouldn't want everyone to know and then - God forbid - something goes wrong and I have to break the news to all those people.

 

[Coltsmommy]

With my angel baby i told everyone. Dh's family mostly lives out of state so with the next one his dad will know and us until 12weeks and then I will tell my family, and then the rest of his family at 20 weeks.

 

[SeaThreePeeO]

When we found out we were expecting our 3rd child at six weeks we told everyone. I then miscarried at 9 weeks and had to tell everyone the news. I got some really amazing support from loads of friends.

But next time I will probably do this... (especially where my mother is concerned as she was vile

I wont be telling anyone until I go into labour if I can