When your kids fight...

[nikkip75]

What do you do?? how far do you let them go before you step in?

Its just that my 4year old and 14 month old have started having little spats! Yesterday it was over a pencil, * had it *wanted it. It ended in a tug o war with a pencil and grabbing hair and pulling her to the ground (screaming full pitch!)

I had to seperate them ofcourse but i dont want to be stepping in for every little "fight" they have. I would always step in if there is a danger of one of them being injured but i think they should be able to have little fights and be able to sort things out between them shouldnt they ?? Afterall they are sisters and no matter how much they love eachother they are going to fight.

Its always * that starts the fight though so its not like her big sister is bullying her, more defending herself!

But am i doing the right thing leaving them to it or shall i stop it before it even happens, which would be about 50 times a day.

Arghh i dont know if im doing right for doing wrong!!!HELP!

 

[Mom23monkies]

For me it all depends on the noise level and physical level of the fight.
If they are just arguing then I tend to let it go and let them try to work it out themselves. But if it escalates and they start yelling or hitting then I step in. and if it escalates to hitting they BOTH or ALL end up in time out

 

[cuteboots]

My two little ones are only 1 and 2 but boy can they fight. It started when wee man got to 7 months, Brogan would have been about 18 months and wiggles started to stand up for himself, taking back toys that he had first, then moved on to stealing toys from his sister. I do think that you have to allow them to work things out to a certain degree, its how they will learn to cope in the real world. I'll step in if things get too physical or if it looks like they're getting upset and they normally just need 5 minutes away from each other.

 

[nikkip75]

Thanks girls! its so hard isnt it??

If anything the younger ones will never let people bully them! they are going to be little hardknocks!

 

[Mom23monkies]

HAHA tell me about it
My little one is a girl with two older brothers!!!
I make jokes about how she will be the toughest girl in school!

 

[nikkip75]

oh god! I bet you was delighted when you had a little girl after 2 boys and now shes going to be a tomboy lol, typical isnt it!!

But i think thats the best combination, 2 boys first then a girl

 

[Mom23monkies]

LOL My daughter can do anything her older brothers do but she does it in a pink dress hahahaha.
She does love her clothes, but she is a strong little girl and can keep up with the best in a fight lol

 

[Elli21]

My little ones are 3 and 5 and the arguements are sometimes so intense!! They usually love eachother and are great friends too!

But i tend to let them sort it out themselves.
If one hits one, the other will hit them back and then its over...cos if they scrap i step in, so they know to leave it after it "fair" as they call it

 

[Dinoslass]

My children never fought that much, fortunately, but the boys tend to wrestle a bit. They are a bit older now and know I don't want them fighting in the house, so I just send them outside!
When our little one is involved I always tell him not to fight, or he says so himself' not in the house' copying the big ones!

 

[N1kki]

their gona fight its normal but try to defuse to the situation before one ends up with a serious injury,you just need make it clear to them its unacceptable and hurting each other is hurting their feelings.start with 1 warning after that naughty step/time out im not sure how young you would use a time or naughty step from so be up to you.You need make it known that your not happy in a stern voice and apologies,hugs to say sorry after.

 

[gailggg]

I agree with N1kki. You have to show that you are in charge and try to help them understand what is acceptable behavior. Failing that, use the time out warning following through with the timeout if necessary. Be persistent and patient.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

It depends what it is over, noise and if they physically hurt each other. I step in before the physical point but sometimes its without warning. I always separate them and calm them down, make them say sorry and try and resolve the issue x