When you're not ready to say your complete but you know that it's inevitable.....

[Lizzybee]

Have you been totally honest with him about how upset it makes you when he mentions babies and everyone around you having babies/being pregnant? That would piss me off to no end. I would talk to him and if you need to get angry, get angry. Babies are a huge life decision, and its an awful feeling when someone makes the decision for you, and there's nothing you can do about it. And then to add salt to the wound, basically tease you with stories of all these babies coming into the world. Not nice at all. Next time a friend or family member mentions when are you having another, and your dh is around, I'd point blank say "my husband doesn't want anymore, but I'd love one more". Boom. Done. But I'm not afraid to rock the boat. I'm 35 and could give a rats ass now what people think. I wish you the best. My first baby was easy to get. Second, it took a MC, 1.5 yrs of ttc and then ended with IVF. So I've dealt with the anger of not being able to have the baby I so desperately wanted. But fortunately we got our rainbow baby. How old are you Lizzy?

I would get off the IUD and tell him condoms are the only option now, period. I for one can't go on any type of birth control so we just have to be careful. But it shouldn't be only on you to prevent pregnancy and be uncomfortable.

Hey, thanks for this. Yes this is pretty much where I'm at right now. Going to make an appointment with the doc and get off it. I'm 38, so I don't have much time left. I don't want one past 40 ( just my personal preference).
You're right. I need to get angry with him. I'm trying to hide it and deal with it myself but not doing a very good job of it. I think the comment to other people will also bring home the fact that I'm not happy so he will have to deal with something too. One of his friend's wife asked me, I replied ERM...., He replied no and the friend said to his wife, " well she might have another but it won't be with him!" I laughed!

 

[Lizzybee]

Incidentally, the friends baby shower was last Sunday. I didn't go and didn't give an excuse, just said I couldn't go.
I haven't had any messages from her since. I don't want to message her about it because I don't want to hear about it! Harsh I know!

 

[Lizzybee]

My friend had her baby. I feel nothing. Of course I said congratulations but only because it was expected. I don't feel happy, I'm not excited for her, I didn't cry but I don't feel like I felt anything other than dislike for her.
I've muted the message group we have so I don't have to read the details. ,

 

[Bevziibubble]

 

[Lizzybee]

Today DH told me his friend is having a boy and wanted me to have a guess what they'll call it when it's born.
He's now gone out and I'm in floods of tears. I can see what's coming. He'll want me to sort out all my DS stuff and give it to them. Which I absolutely would because they gave us (and continue) loads of stuff for DS, but I'm giving away the baby I'm not going to have. I'm so sad. I don't have anyone to talk to that understands this.
Leaving my DH isn't an option, I only want another baby with him. I don't just want a baby. It's making me so sad though. There is no compromise. I am really good at compromising on lots of things, but this is something that I'm struggling to let go. I don't know how to tell him how sad I am because of this.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I'm so sorry

 

[AngelUK]

I am so sorry. Maybe you should let him read this if you feel you cannot actually talk about it? It seems to be tearing you apart. So many

 

[Jessica60]

Any update? How are you feeling now? Hope you're ok

 

[Lizzybee]

Any update? How are you feeling now? Hope you're ok

Hey, thank you. I'm noticing a pattern of emotion now. The week before I'm due af, the feelings are unbearable. When af arrives, it subsides slightly.
I've moved all the baby and toddler stuff to a cupboard I don't go in. I thought this might help me forget about it? Worth a try! Today I thought I was doing better. DS is 5 this weekend, I'm thinking about him growing up, he has proudly got ready for school this week independently because he is going to be 5. While I felt a bit sad I was excited for his own excitexcit if you know what I mean?
Then DH came home. He told me about his friend and that there is something wrong with the pregnancy and she is in hospital while they decide if they have to do ECS 2 months early. I said oh, and walked away. He followed me to tell me the details. I kept trying to walk away and seem disinterested, but he didn't get it.
I feel weird, bad to be honest. Please don't judge me, it's almost like I'm glad things aren't going well? I don't like myself for feeling like this. It's not their fault.
I'm still trying to avoid my pregnant and new mom friends, but they keep sneaking in there to tell me something or remind me they have a baby. Like baby showers, present collections, "when is the best time for me to pop into work so you can have a cuddle" yada,yada, yada !
I still have that little voice in the back of my head that says, "go on just get pregnant, what's the worst that could happen? " Obviously I won't do that, who wants to bring a child into the world that would be resented? I see on a daily basis the effect that has on children for the rest of their life.
How am I? Good for one week, managing for 2 weeks, a mess for the other. Then back round again!
How's everyone else that's following/posting on here? Hope you're all good and thank you for listening to me. I do appreciate it x

 

[AngelUK]

Sweetie I don't think what you are experiencing is the normal longing and broodiness. It sounds like it is making you depressed. I really urge you to talk to someone, maybe your gp or someone your gp can refer you to. I think in the long run this may well ruin your relationship with your OH, there seems to be a fair bit of resentment inside you already and that is like a poison that eats you up from inside. Tons of hugs, my heart goes out to you and I wish so much your OH would change his mind for your sake.