Where did he go??? (LONG)

[trulymadly]

Evening ladies!

I normally post in the baby club but today my 8 year old son has left me in utter despair.

He's always been a very mature, well mannered, polite child, however these last few weeks he has suddenly become moody, ignorant, rude and short tempered.

I have no idea whats going on but me and OH have tried our best to deal with it.

However today was a whole new level for him...my Mum picked him up from school for me and I was meeting her in town. By the time I got there he had her in tears, my own mother

He showed no remorse until we got home and I started to strip his room (no toys, tv etc), I was just so angry with him!!!

I've made every effort to spend alone time with him since his sister was born 8 months ago, give him everything I can and kept him to a general routine.

When he was crying he said he wanted to see his Dad more but his 'real' father just isnt interested . I went to see him after todays incident and he just couldnt take his eyes off the telly, he doesnt give a shit. The guy spend about 3 hrs a month with my son.

Please help me....I'm at my wits end. I've spoken to him about school, family, his dad and he just says 'I don't know'.
I know kids get stroppy as they get older and push his bounderies, but I just don't know what else to do

 

[mommy2lilmen]

I have 3 within that age range, and the way you describe him is identical to me. My boys all say I dont know. Or say I know I shouldnt and still do it. It upsets me. I even ask their dad for help, (I am not with him either) and all he says is well they are with you, if you cant handle them I will call welfare and hangs up on me. I am lost also. When he has them, he tells me to deal with their attitudes at his place. LIKE WTF?? What is it with these dads? My DH right now, father to my last 2 arent this way. I just dont know. I am sorry you have to deal with this. I say, keep boundaries, rules and stay firm. Eventually it will stop. My teen has stopped. I went through HORRIBLE moods with him, and it took him moving to his real dads (same dad to the other 3) to realize how nice he had it, and he changed. I do have the odd mood swings, but thats ok.
Have you thought about putting him in a sport, just a couple days a week?? That might help him vent some anger??
Did he explain to you as to why he made grandma cry? Poor mom. Im sorry, tell her that. Kids can be cruel.

 

[trulymadly]

Thanks mommy2lilmen, its nice to know I'm not alone!!

He already does karate 2 evenings a week, which he is excellent at, and He is starting street dance classes this weekend.

I knew eventually I would start having some sort of issue with him but I didnt expect it to be so young!

His answer to making his Nan cry is that he was annoyed. I've explained that its unacceptable and we are here to help him, he doesnt need to fight against us.

Suppose only time will tell if its falling on deaf ears.

 

[mommy2lilmen]

Thanks mommy2lilmen, its nice to know I'm not alone!!

He already does karate 2 evenings a week, which he is excellent at, and He is starting street dance classes this weekend.

I knew eventually I would start having some sort of issue with him but I didnt expect it to be so young!

His answer to making his Nan cry is that he was annoyed. I've explained that its unacceptable and we are here to help him, he doesnt need to fight against us.

Suppose only time will tell if its falling on deaf ears.

sooo true
Is that him in your avatar? Tooo cute.!! he is an angel. I can see why your confused on his behaviour.
But time will tell. Just stand your ground. He could possibly be maturing faster?? Early puberty. My 1st went through it at 8/9, same with my 2nd and now my 4th, my 3rd was a bit early with his behaviour as he has autism and adhd and I am waiting on the other 2 they are babies hehe.
Ugh, the joys.
Take it easy to, cus kids feed off of the stress. Dont bother with his dad trying to help, just keep it with you and yoru husband. I am so glad you explained to him about his nan. poor nan. Im sorry.
hes got activities and such, so i would be lost to if i were you. My kids I think are bored and need time away from each other as to why they behave the way they do. but its so hard when I dont work, I dont drive, my DH works and sleeps all day. I take them swimming but thats not good enouhg I dont think. My kids are between seasons for sports, so I have to find something else.

 

[trulymadly]

Yeah thats him hun, having his first cuddles with lil sis
Thank you.

No one ever tells you how much harder it is when they get older, babies are the easy bit! You must pull your hair out sometimes with 6 boys, I take my hat off to you!

He's been a bit better today, had a chat with him this morning and I think things are starting to sink in.

Early puberty is a concern of mine, I was very young, and in all honesty I'm grateful it's now the holidays so I can spend some proper time with him and hopefully help the situation.

 

[babyhopesxx]

Hi trulymadly, just wanted to share my experience with you too

I'm going through a similar thing with my 5 year old son at the mo. I totally agree that it gets harder the older they get and that babies are easier than children

When ever my son plays up and cries etc he just says that he misses his dad and wants to see him. Me and his dad split up when he was young and he sees him every other wkend.

Just give your son loads of cuddles and explain that you and your partner and his baby sister love him very much. And that if he ever feels angry or upset etc then to come and talk to you about it. This is what i say to my son and i think it helps a little.

Maybe a new baby has pushed him out of sorts a little or he has just realised that his real dad isn't around much i dont think that 8 years is too young to be feeling like this.