Where's my excitement?

[KKS]

I feel terrible, i had my first scan yesterday and my OH just looked at me after and asked what was wrong, i should be happy. I am happy, i just can't get excited or anything. I'm stressing about money to move or commuting with 2 kids. I don't feel pg, i'm 11 weeks with my 2nd, i have no bump and people keep commenting on how skinny i am which makes it worse.

I want to blame it on hormones but i'm worried it's something else.

sorry, this is more of a rant than anything.

 

[rihanna]

Hi KKS i didnt want to not write after i saw how many people had viewed and no-one had written but i dont know? Maybe you could talk to your OH or GP abou thow your feeling? Im sure its just hormones playing you up, hope you feel better and full of excitement again soon xx

 

[MrsP]

Hon I am expecting my 2nd too and I feel just the same way although I am only just over 6 weeks but still just doesn't seem to be sinking in x

 

[Dora]

Hi there, I am also pregnant with number 2 and am not feeling very excited at all either.
Have had a rough first few months with so much sickness and feeling ill & weak. I thought perhaps it's because I have no time to feel excited really looking after my 2 year old son.
Not sure but I feel down too and cant get excited yet, I am hoping it will come maybe once I start to feel better & I get a decent bump and when I feel the baby move.
Thinking of you, hope you feel happier soon, sounds like we are in the same boat!

 

[booflebump]

It will come - you are so busy with life and the other little one, you cant be expected to devote the same sort of all consuming attention your first pregnancy got xxx

 

[KKS]

Thanks, i really hoep it is just hormones and i once that bump comes i will get excited like before. I have always felt blessed to have children and know i am lucky but this just feels negative.

 

[moggymay]

Our neighbour accross the road felt this way when she was in early pregnancy. She wasnt sure about how things would be cos she loves her job and didnt know how they would cope if she wasnt going to go back after the birth of number two. Her job also means if she doesnt go back to work at the end she is only entitled to SMP they pay her full pay but if she doesnt go back she must pay it back. She was quite down for a while as from our antenatal class there are a few of us trying to get pregnant and she did it first go!

She has recently had the baby and is tired but happy, she reached a turning point around 15 weeks when she started to show a little and her body seemed to settle down.

I hope it doesnt upset you to think it may be another 5 weeks or so of the feelings but I wanted to let you know there is light at the end of the tunnel. Do you remember the feeling of disbelief you had when you left the hospital with number 1, scared but you knew you were going to be ok?

She said it was the same as that but scary in a diiferent way as it was all so far in the future. Her future so to speak arrived this week and so far all is good and she is very happy if very tired!

I hope you find you are able to communicate how you feel to OH so he may support you through it, also it is worth talking to your GP, there is such a thing as antenatal depression, even a mild case can get you down and it is very easily helped if they know you are suffering. Good luck with your pregnancy hon, keep us posted with how ytou get on and let us know if we can help more

 

[mrs.humphreys]

hi
im pregnant for the 3rd time and im felling the same, i just dont think it has sunk in yet, hopefully it will after next thursday as i have a scan then, so i think when i actually see a baby (or 2 as my husband thinks it is) then i will be excited. xxx

 

[Torz]

your not alone in not feeling excited. This is my first pregnancy & it was a huge shock & i'm not excited at all. I kinda was in those first few days when i first found out but for the past two weeks I have felt absolutley dreadful like i'm dying or something. In a way, i know this sounds awful but i kinda resent this pregnancy for making me feel so ill, one day i cant stop eating, i feel weak, lifeless, light headed & truely exhausted, not matter what i eat i dont have any energy & just feel constanly hungry. I will have a couple of days where i feel a little hungry but i try & eat & i just cant, everything makes me feel sick.

My midwife assures me that the way i am feeling including the resentment & not been excited is totally normal. Our hormones are playing havoc with our bodys & the way we are feeling. I'm sure once we get bumps & start to feel our baby move we will conect more & start feeling excited.

 

[Tabbyfourpaws]

I can completely relate to this....the excitement fizzled away to leave behind fear and a feeling of 'I don't know if I can handle this'

The guilt of feeling like this when other people are loosing their little ones is massive. The next morning I will be happy about the situation and wonder what the hell I was thinking!!! Sometimes it feels like you have jumped on the pregnancy rollercoaster and you clearly can't get off. Would be nice to have a 'break' from being pregnant (does that sound selfish/weird)?

I know I would be devastated if anything happened. I'm certain it's hormones as I have felt short tempered, weak and unhappy and I know I'm a happy, positive person. Keep telling yourself that it will pass. If it doesn't, you should tell your midwife so they can keep an eye on you now and after the baby arrives just in case you are getting depressed xxxx

 

[bunnyg82]

I am sure the excitement will come, give it time.

If you do feel worried about how you are feeling though it might be worth mentioning to your midwife xx

 

[Torz]

Tabbyfourpaws, no it dosent sound selfish or wiered at all i can totally relate & i am feeling the same. I have said many times to my OH that i've had enough now & want it all to end, which i know sounds awful given that people are loosing their LO's. I too wish i could just have a break from feeling so awful. But then I'll have a pain or i kinda feel wet down there & think i'm loosing the LO & i panic & feel upset. I too know i would be devistated if anything happened to it.

I supose that kinda makes me realise that deep down i am happy about having a baby it just dosent seem so real yet & with feeling soo ill i just kinda feel down.

Its not helping at all that we only moved house in march, we started renovating & my house is a complete & utter tip, i mean literally, no floors in any room (apart from living room now), plaster knocked off walls, stuff everywhere, kitchen a mess, things just pilled up in different rooms, no heating down stairs. My OH is working all evening to try & get tings sorted so its stressing him out. I dont have the energy to do anything at night like putting washing away or make tea. The house was kinda getting me down without pregancy even tho i know it needs doing & it wont be forever, the pregnancy has just made things feel 100 times worse, & dont even get me started on the stresses of christmas haha.

 

[Tabbyfourpaws]

Cheers ! I guess we feel the same then!

We are going to be stuck in our 1 bed flat with a fat mortgage. We had to remortgage when the prices were high so we are now deep in negative equity – we are stuck here now! You have got to laugh. Everything always works out in the end. I just guess you try and ignore these worries but they build up and linger in the back of your head. My back has been killing me for weeks now and I think that has just grinded me down. It’s on the mend so things are not all bad.

I try and be grateful that I can have a bubba and that I’m not out on the streets, seriously ill or lonely. Just takes a bit of reminding sometimes.

We will all be alright in the end! X thanks Torz xxxx! Hang in there my sweets!

 

[KKS]

Thanks Everyone. I'm so glad i'm not going mad and that others feel the same. I have huge guilt for feeling this way but i really hope it's just hormones. I think i have been so wrapped up in everything around me i haven't had a chance to let things sink in. I'm hoping meeting up with friends this weekend (all with babies) will give me a boost as it's nice to hear how lovely there kids get on with a 2yr age gap. I'm going to try to forget about the pressure of moving (or not moving) and booked a break for the begging of Jan. I really hope things pick up & we can all enjoy our pregnancies together. xx

 

[Peardrop]

Just to add that I am also feeling the same. Feeling very down about everything. I know it's hormonal but then I am also sad because I think I ought to be over the moon as it has taken a while and I am but what with life stresses, hormones, extreme tiredness and my enemy - morning sickness I just can't quite summn the happiness. I am sure as your baby grows and the hormones reduce a bit you will feel better. Just panda yourself and don't stress about it too much.

Take care
XX

 

[td1309]

I really sympathise with you ladies. I was so intent on getting that bfp and also thought we'd be ttc for months but it was our first cycle and when I did get a bfp I don't think I'd actully prepared myself for the shock! It sounds so silly because this baby is so wanted but dreaming about getting pregnant and being pregnant is so different it all suddenly becomes real! Although I was ecstatic there was that devil on my shoulder that was saying 'oh my god what have I done?!'! I quickly got over the shock however and was very excited....until morning sickness set in!! I still have it now but for a few weeks the relentless morning sickness coupled with sheer exhaustion just floored me! I don't know how anyone can possibly begin to get excited or even think about anything else except feeling better when they're feeling so dreadful. I think everyone has a few weeks where their hormones are playing absolute havoc and the lucky few that don't are....well, lucky!

Anyway, what I really wanted to say is now I'm 13 weeks, the exhaustion for me has passed and the sickness is alot more manageable. I am getting very excited again and now I know for sure that it was due to my hormones and the fact I was feeling so awful that was leading me to question everything. Even if my sickness or tiredness returns along with a few 'down' days I'm sure I'll have, I know ultimately that when I'm feeling like myself I am very, very happy. As time goes on I am having more days like that!

I don't know when it will happen for all of you, but, I promise that even if you have genuine concerns - your hormones or the way you are feeling is magnifying that and making you feel unable to cope at times. I look forward to chatting to you all in 2nd tri very soon and hopefully we'll all be in a much better place but for now just remember what you are feeling is totally normal and you're not alone. On a final note, I also believe that worrying about life when the baby is here is not only natural but is also what helps make you a good parent. Afterall what sort of a parent would you be if you didn't care?! xxx

 

[KKS]

TD1309, you made me cry!

bloody hormones!

 

[Tabbyfourpaws]

Hang in there KKS.....we all seem to be in the same boat. It's nice to read all these posts. Makes me feel much more normal. Some of our partners prob feel the same too. It's scary stuff but we will all be fine. TD1309 -that was a top post, thank you x

xxxx