Where's the info

[Orange lady]

Hi Girls,
This is just a vent really I suppose. When i found out we were having a baby the first thing I did was buy a book. There were precisely 3 pages on miscarriage. Most of which gloss over the issue. As common as it seems to be to lose your baby, it's not something that people talk about. It is far more common than you would imagine. This webpage is what's made me feel like I'm not alone and that actually I haven't done anything wrong. I am cross that as common as it is, it's brushed under the carpet, therefore making us girls feel inadiquate and responsible!!!!

 

[Rumpskin]

Hey sweety, I totally agree with what you have said. The most informative information that i got is through the Miscarriage Association. They sent me about 6 leaflets on Miscarriage, Treatment, When to Try again, etc.

I found that facts and statistics is what I needed at the time.

I also have got an excellent lady doctor who is a fantastic support.

 

[sam's mum]

Just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for your loss You'll find some fantastic support here x

 

[Mynxie]

sorry for your loss

ttally agree with you though

 

[Orange lady]

Thanks girls. I just think it's disgusting that you only find most of this stuff out when it happens to you. Being pregnant for the first time is scary enough, without medical people using terms you don't understand. Thank goodness for sites like this, or where would we be? Blaming ourselves probably!!!
Sorry - rant over!

 

[Lyns]

The best info I found was right here....in this forum as a sticky by Wobbles.

https://www.babyandbump.com/miscarriage-support/673-miscarriage-facts-myths.html

I can't thank her enough for this.....it made me feel sane when all around me felt like it was going mad.

 

[moomoo]

i agree completely...i was sent home with a leaflet and no one told me what to expect either... i swear if the nhs was more competent then things wouldnt be so bad!!

 

[becky77]

The best info I found was right here....in this forum as a sticky by Wobbles.

https://www.babyandbump.com/miscarriage-support/673-miscarriage-facts-myths.html

I can't thank her enough for this.....it made me feel sane when all around me felt like it was going mad.

i totally agree the only info i go was from this site and the miscarriage asso, i did not even get a leaflet .

thanks wobbles you saved my sanity

 

[ellie]

i completely agree. my experience was with a totally insensitive and incompetent gp (not even my own gp) who kept talking about 'spontaneous abortion' and just came in and said 'sorry the pg test is negative' then just told me to go away and try again. i still feel like i might have somehow been responsible .... however i agree the information on this site has been a fantastic help in coming to terms with it. i still wonder whether to complain or push for more information to be given by midwives or gp's, although they might think that might just scare people?

 

[Orange lady]

If you read articles from people "in the know", it is much more comforting. The temptation of course is to blame yourself. But we mustn't. There are 101 different reasons for miscarriage, most of which are out of our hands.

 

[JASMAK]

I agree. It is swept under the carpet all hush hush - and dare we speak of our lost ones!!! It is a definite taboo. Sad, isn't it? Welcome to our site and I am sorry for your loss.

 

[charliesmom]

Doesnt that lead you to think that not enough research is being done on miscarriages?? Doctors know SO little and they barely test you unless you have had 3. It makes me scratch my head!

 

[LoubyLou85]

I agree too and I too found some of the info on this forum quite helpful.
At a private scan on 16th Dec when I was nearly 11 weeks I found out I had a mmc, and baby had reached 7+4wks before dying. Had a second scan at NHS hospital 2 days later to confirm and then ERPC on 19th Dec. Since then (now coming up for 3 weeks) I've been desperately craving 'normality' returning to my body. Have been trying to work out whether the twinges, bleeding, aches, pains etc etc I've had over this time are normal or if they have been anything I should be concerned about.

Do any of you find it hard when what information you do manage to find can be contradictory or unclear? I have had no red bleeding for over a week, but do seem to have a little brown discharge / CM. But the last few days I have also had some pains low down and on both sides. I've searched the net to try and establish if this might be normal or if I should be at all concerned and I'm still none the wiser. I have found stuff which suggests this could just be ovulation, but I've found stuff which suggests that perhaps I should check with a GP in case it's an infection. How's a girl supposed to know what to think?!?!?!

One thing I have worked out during the time I knew I was pg and since the ERPC is that it seems there are no definitive answers on anything, and nothing is 'normal'.....everyone seems to be different.......but it sure as hell doesn't help does it?

 

[Orange lady]

No you are so right. How are you supposed to know what's happening? Particularly if you've never been pregnant before. Looking back, I did have a few tummy pains etc during the couple of weeks before my scan, but I thought it was wind!!!! Now I think it was my baby dying. It's crazy I had no idea. I've been pretty lucky bleeding wise but I have had some pains too. More like twinges on either side, where you would expect ovaries to be. Nothing long standing, but a few sharp short pains.
If you are concerned about your pains, definately go and see the GP. If nothing else, for your peace of mind.
Take care anyway
x

 

[LoubyLou85]

'Snap' - I woke up early in the morning on the 7th Dec to go for a wee...when I got back into bed and laid on my side I had what I now realise was actually a 'big' pain...but I had had so much wind and indigestion and as it went away after 30 seconds or so I dismissed it. I now realise that that day would have been bang on the 7+4wks that the private scan showed the baby had reached and so I now presume was the beginning of the end. It's so hard when you don't know what to expect, to know what's normal and whats not.

Hopefully if I am lucky enough to get pg again, then at least I will be just a tiny bit more knowledgeable about some of the possible warning signs.

 

[vickielm]

I totally agree with you all..
Although do you think that if all this information and scinarios were in text books then it would cause expectant mothers to panic and stress at every little twinge, bleed, cramp etc...

I have been through a wierd miscarriage as i have only had one bleed which was on the Tuesday before Christmas, but there was no pain etc TMI COMING UP SORRY! (i was at work and felt like i do when me and OH have well you know!! you clean up! then carry on as normal, maybe go downstairs and make a brew or sandwich, and yes you guessed!! more stuff trickles out!!!) that is the experience i had whilst at work when i had my bleed. I work in the middle of a shopping centre as a supervisor / marketing assistant on an 'Ask Me Point'. I was selling a gift card and i felt the gush! I waited for my colleague to return and i legged it to the toilet. the blood that was there did not contain clots etc, it was just like wee, but red in colour!???

So i informed the marketing manager and drove up to A+E. After a water sample they made us (me and OH) for 3 hours, after i saw the doctor they asked if i was pregnant!!???? i had told them? given a positive sample!!?? Then he sent me home and said that the EPU closed 3 hours ago? So why make me wait 3 hours to be told that they cant do anything? By then teh bleeding had stopped and i have never had any since..

I only everhad brown discharge/ spotted brown discharge and that stopped a week ago. But i have still had a miscarrige.

I suppose they never know what is going on they just go off the experiences that they have had from previous patients.

One of the ladys who gave me a scan said that years ago Clear Blue tests etc did not pick up pregnancy this early so she said the early stages are as new to them as it is to us!! Comforting!!!!

Sorry for the long post and my rant!! ANd the spelling mistakes ( i have had a vodka, lime and lemonade! i know it wont help the situation but it tasted good!!)

Lots of love and baby glue for 2009.

Vik