Who else has friends that have let them down?

[shaunanicole]

I have a best friend of 9 years. We grew up together, all my childhood memories are with her, and she has been there for me through everything bad and good in my life. Just about a year ago we started drifting apart but I always felt in my heart she would still stick by me if I needed it and I would always do the same for her. Well through out my pregnancy so far she hasn't been there for me at ALL. She never calls, hardly returns my phone calls, and it HURTS me. We always swore as "sisters" we would be there for one another.

I called her on my way to the ER when I was bleeding and she sounded distracted. I showed her my ultrasound pics and she didn't pay them much mind. Today I called and told her about my doc appointment and how I have a blood clot and she said "okay well I have to go. take it easy bye." That crushed me in so many ways. All my friends have disappeared and no one wants to have anything to do with me and now the ONE person I always thought I had by my side is more involved with guys and her other friends to care about me or the baby.

I feel so let down, has anyone else been going through the same thing with their friends?

 

[Serene123]

Yep!

 

[Char&Bump-x]

Yep. In my experience when you're pregnant, friends run. Far.

Just shows who your real friends are though. Although in my case, its none!

 

[Kimboowee]

Friends, social life????

Pffftttttttttt!!!!!!!!

 

[sezzlebum]

oooh a rant about so called friends thread.... im game

i have this friend ive known since i was 14 (27 now) and we go thru our drift apart phases and then we seem inseprable for a bit and it goes on and on.

she is the same age as me and has 4 sprogs, ages 7yrs,2yrs,1yr,8 months and last year ended up having social services involved because of the state of her house (it started as a domestic with her and her bloke but police then took pics of the house and sent them to ss)
my girls were 5 and 7 and in school so i used to go up and helped her clean up etc but her house ends up a state within hours (this was before ss got involved).

social services said the kids could not go back in that house until it was clean tidy and safe for them, no word of a lie im surprised she didnt have rats, but i went up with her, gutted the place, even steamed her sofas for her (she was pregnant at the time) did the frickin lot, they were allowed home the day after.

i still went up and cleaned up but she was letting old habbits kick in again, gives kids sausage rolls/crisps/sweets etc and they just drop it on the floor and walk all over it or rub it into the sofas etc

then she moved house, "new start" she said, having met her landlord he seemed very houseproud and asked her to look after the new carpets he had just had fitted (yer rite)
within a week it was rotten, walls scribbled on and caked in food, carpets in same state, kitchen makes you want to throw up in etc
i still helped her clean and by this time i was pregnant myself and ended up stopping going to hers because the smell and sight of her house knocked me sick
when i didnt go up to hers i got to thinking in the last 3 years shes been to my house 3 times. i only live 10 mins away but she always has an excuse not to come here.
what really go to me was (about 3 weeks ago) she text me saying her oh's hours had been cut back so since he could stay home with the kids she could actually come to mine.... said shed come down the next day.

i rang her the next day to see what time and she said im just watching me friends baby i'll be down when shes back. she never showed up, no phonecall or anything.
that was 3 weeks ago, havent heard anything off her, shes on unlimited calls and texts, i have no credit and she knew that.
i feel more let down now with her because i used to go out of my way to help her and she cant even phone me to see how i am, i have spd, can hardly walk but she wouldnt know that because shes well quite frankly a dick.
she wonders why her kids have always got stomach bugs.... look at the shit hole you live in, why her baby ended up with thrush in his mouth (every single one of her kids has had this) when the dummys get trodden on on the filthy floor and swapped about between the 3 youngest, it really upsets me but you know what, she'll need me before i need her

 

[anglais_rozu]

Non of my friends have got in contact in a few months - they don't even know the sex of my baby even though I've known for 2 months now.

The 3 people I thought would remember my birthday - didn't and haven't mentioned it since either, though I did get in contact for all of their birthdays.

I'd love to just delete the people that haven't got in touch for months from FB but I realised y'day that would leave me with an empty friends list XD

At least I know it's not just happening to me

 

[Char&Bump-x]

oooh a rant about so called friends thread.... im game

i have this friend ive known since i was 14 (27 now) and we go thru our drift apart phases and then we seem inseprable for a bit and it goes on and on.

she is the same age as me and has 4 sprogs, ages 7yrs,2yrs,1yr,8 months and last year ended up having social services involved because of the state of her house (it started as a domestic with her and her bloke but police then took pics of the house and sent them to ss)
my girls were 5 and 7 and in school so i used to go up and helped her clean up etc but her house ends up a state within hours (this was before ss got involved).

social services said the kids could not go back in that house until it was clean tidy and safe for them, no word of a lie im surprised she didnt have rats, but i went up with her, gutted the place, even steamed her sofas for her (she was pregnant at the time) did the frickin lot, they were allowed home the day after.

i still went up and cleaned up but she was letting old habbits kick in again, gives kids sausage rolls/crisps/sweets etc and they just drop it on the floor and walk all over it or rub it into the sofas etc

then she moved house, "new start" she said, having met her landlord he seemed very houseproud and asked her to look after the new carpets he had just had fitted (yer rite)
within a week it was rotten, walls scribbled on and caked in food, carpets in same state, kitchen makes you want to throw up in etc
i still helped her clean and by this time i was pregnant myself and ended up stopping going to hers because the smell and sight of her house knocked me sick
when i didnt go up to hers i got to thinking in the last 3 years shes been to my house 3 times. i only live 10 mins away but she always has an excuse not to come here.
what really go to me was (about 3 weeks ago) she text me saying her oh's hours had been cut back so since he could stay home with the kids she could actually come to mine.... said shed come down the next day.

i rang her the next day to see what time and she said im just watching me friends baby i'll be down when shes back. she never showed up, no phonecall or anything.
that was 3 weeks ago, havent heard anything off her, shes on unlimited calls and texts, i have no credit and she knew that.
i feel more let down now with her because i used to go out of my way to help her and she cant even phone me to see how i am, i have spd, can hardly walk but she wouldnt know that because shes well quite frankly a dick.
she wonders why her kids have always got stomach bugs.... look at the shit hole you live in, why her baby ended up with thrush in his mouth (every single one of her kids has had this) when the dummys get trodden on on the filthy floor and swapped about between the 3 youngest, it really upsets me but you know what, she'll need me before i need her

Quite frankly i think you're better off, and i also think you are a saint for helping her so many times. Once maybe, cos people can just let the housework get on top of them. But living like that is discusting and i dont see why you'd want to be around that!

You're right, she will need you first

 

[Kimboowee]

Sezzlebum your friends sound like mine all take and no give!

One of my ex close friends asked me to be maid of honour at her wedding last week via text, im 37 weeks pregnant, the last time i seen/heard from her....When i was 15 weeks pregnant.

5 and a half months ago.....Im sorry but im not gonna spend all my time and effort chasing up people that can't be bothered with me!

 

[xarlenex]

Caroline, who I considered to be my best mate, was born 10 days after me and our parents were friends so we've been brought up together. We were just like sisters then I got pregnant, and she got hr first boyfriend. We tried to get in touch, I tried to arrange a nite to the cinema but she always had an excuse. Then my consultant told me she was sending me for councelling as she fully well believed I was going to give birth to a still born baby (due to a virus i'd passed on to kyle..) and she was literally across the road, in her grans house when I sent a text, telling her I was scared stiff and I didn't get as much as a 2 second visit.

It was right then I knew she wasn't worth anything!

Fortunately I have alot of other pals who are still kicking around, gawd knows why but she hurt me so much. So i know what you're going through

 

[babystar]

 

[sezzlebum]

now dont get me wrong right, i know its hard having kids to keep on top of housework, speshally since at the time she had 2 toddlers now its 2 toddlers and a crawler, ive got 2 kids ive had the messy house, but thats what it was, mess, toys that needed picking up, not filth. none of her family helped her, none of her other so called friends, just me, muggins lol anyhoo im wiser for it i guess,

arlene i cant imagine what you went thru having to think that, i dont understand the mentality of some people and im sick of trying to lol, glad you had other friends tho, shudnt have to go thru that alone xxx

kim did you say yes? did she remember you were pregnant?

char thanks chick
i swear i wanted to rant about that all month and thought ah she'll ring me tomoro but nope lol what upset me most is that all my other friends do live far away and work dodgy shifts so she was one of the only people i could have grown up convo outside the family home with....ah well im doned i feel better for ranting lmao

 

[Kimboowee]

Its not til next june. I did say yes but not been involved what so ever so far and she says on FB she's nearly done planning!!!

Not had any text to ask how baby is,or how i am. She just asked out the blue and i said yes and when!

I think ill just be expected to turn up on the day, smile for some photos and leave!

 

[sezzlebum]

that sucks, shes probably one of them bridezillers lol make sure you get to pick your dress so she doesnt have you in some frilly awful thing lol

 

[teen mummy]

i used to be in a really big group of friends like 20 of us. an now they have all left me because they claim "its hard to get together with you"
well if they rung it would be slightly easier!!
anyways i only have 1 true friend left and thats one of my ex's believe it or not, anyway he has always been ther for me through the pregnancy an everythin.
i dont depend on people as much anymore appart from my family cause they always seem to disapeare
xxxx

 

[tinkabells]

Oh yes your not alone, my so called bestfriend i've known for 14 years, has let me down big time, she only wants to know me when she has done something or wnats to tell me her gosspi, but then gets annoyed when i do things with my other bestmate, i cant be bothered with her anymore but she still thinks shes coming to the bitch, erm no your not love! She can barely txt me back how and why would trust her to be there for me when i do really really need her!!
It does get me down but i got my other friend who has been there for me through everything, i just didnt see it being like this!! xxx

 

[anglais_rozu]

To add I was talking to a good friend last night and she asked how the baby was - I answered 'He's great' and got a massive gasp and alot of 'he?! Omg, you've having a boy!'.

I've known for over two months now - when I found out I didn't bothered telling friends who didn't ask (they ALL knew I was finding out the sex as it was my FB status for a week among other things)- so obviously this 'good' mate never asked.

 

[tinkabells]

Yeah i no what you mean, why should we go out of our way to tell them things when they clearly arent bothered, then moan or whatever that you never told them! xxx

 

[precious-gift]

i really feel for you all, my friends have been fantastic and they help take my mind off my situation, actually didn't realise how many good friends i had and have since made more, and the support on here is great, so thanks to everyone xx

 

[tinkabells]

Thats really good for you presious-gift xxx

 

[DizzyMoo]

Hiya Shauna,
I found i had no real friends when i was preg with my 1st.
Pre-preg i was the one everyone always wanted to be around, the giggley one who always made people laugh & made the night, I was never short of someone to either visit or go out with etc . Things started to change soon as i said " im preg " i was about 8wks , Even though i continued to go out & act my normal dizzy self, People just stopped texting,ringing & asking me to go out. Nothing had changed i was still me...
But i couldn't understand how although my best friend (socalled) was still in touch just about how she could just distance herself from me when we had been inseperable since we'd met 3yrs earlier.

When i had my son and i was able to sit up (was bit poorly) she was the 1st person i rang & wanted to tell and although she sounded happy i could tell with her voice she wasnt impressed id woke her up but it was 10am not 2am. She turned up at my house 2weeks later with a tiny baby gift which didnt fit & that was that end of friendship really.I was a single mum with a dead beat ex for my babies dad so the friendship would of really helped. I lost everyone & still to this day none of us speak unless we pass in the street, I have a good friend now who is also preg & we'll both be there for eachother but i still reserve myself incase i'm "abandoned" again which was how i felt. Now i make acquaintances not close friends.
Its looking like im about to do it all alone again which is my worst fear, my OH just isnt here no more & doesnt seem at all interested which kills me as he is my everything, but nothing i can do but go on.
I rely on people online now, and find they are often more truthful & more genuine that most people ive physically met xxx