Whos parents help them financially?

[nertila]

Just wondering - do any of you get any help from parents that have quite abit of surplus money?

Is it wrong to accept?

Just wondering no debate here please

 

[Lucasmum]

My parents are very generous and know how much we struggle so every so often they will send DS a cheque to help mummy and daddy out, they also paid for our flights to Spain this year as they didnt want to come to the UK but wanted to see us, while we were they they paid for meals and days out and stuff and even gave us some spending money which was not expected at all, they cant help themselves some times.

I dont think its wrong to accept so long as you arent taking the pee, I have never asked them for the money they give so dont feel bad and always try to pay them back, though last time I paid money in their account, I found it back in mine a week later

 

[xvmomovx]

My mom certainly doesn't have a surplus. We all live together though. DH, me, LO and mom. My mom is still working but will be retiring soon as she is finding it harder and harder to work. It might sound strange but even though she works she could never live on her own. She will live with us for the rest of her life. She pays bills so I definitely consider that helping us financially.

Because she has income I am able to stay home with my LO and soon it will be 2 LOs. She is very supportive of this. She is not able to care for my son because of her disabilities (he's only 2) but when my boys are older they will be able to stay with her while I work (if I need to). It's a bit of a strange situation but it works for us and we all like being together.

I don't think it's wrong to accept help if you want/need it and it isn't putting financial strain on someone. I sometimes feel bad that my mom is still working and I don't but we all agree to this arrangement so it's not for anyone else to judge because it doesn't affect anyone but us. Basically I feel as long as everyone that is involved agrees and is comfortable it's no one else's business.

 

[bumblebeexo]

My parents don't have a surplus, but they do help us out sometimes. When we moved house they bought us a few bits and pieces that we needed. They've never given me money for no reason, and I wouldn't want them too either as I think I'd feel bad! That being said, if they had a lot of spare cash then I guess I wouldn't feel as bad? I don't see the problem in it though, if parents want to give you money then that's fine. I know if we were ever in a financial crisis then they'd help out.

 

[special_kala]

My dad sends me money every few months and I know if me or the girls need anything all I need to do is ask (i tend not to though). When he visits every 4/5 month's he gives me money for the girls. Sometimes it annoys me because he assumes if we're in a shop and I pick something up he's paying but I dint think that would be fair.

I guess over the last 3 years including the money he has given me for my wedding hes probably given me about £4000. Which seems like a lot but when you consider the fact he got his wife a £2000 watch for Christmas it's not that much to him.

I think.its nice if your parents can spare money and are generous with it. I can't see why anyone would be against it. There is no point being a martyr and saying its wrong. If the helps there then take it.

Equally there is nothing wrong if your parents arnt in that position. Some people are more fortunate then others in that respect

 

[Bevziibubble]

My parents don't help us out financially as they don't have the money. But even if they did I wouldn't want them to. My dad treated me like a child all my life and controlled every part of my life right up to the day when I moved out when I was 23, he wouldn't even allow me to have access to my own bank card. He said I shouldn't have left work to try for a baby and move area, because apparently I would regret it and we wouldn't be able to manage financially and I'd need my parents help with looking after a baby. So I'm very keen to prove to him how wrong he was and that yes I can cope without having my whole life controlled by him. That's just my story/rant

 

[Poppeteer]

Yes a lot.


My in laws have given us around £300,000 over 5 years and my parents around £100,000.

Nothing wrong with it, both are very well off and we used the money to buy a house and business.

In the future our parents will live with us and we will look after them for as long as they are alive. No nursing homes here.

 

[NDH]

My parents are always happy to help us out financially. They're not well off but their house is paid for so they're comfortable. Their assistance always comes as a loan though. We currently owe them $14000 of a $20000 loan. They really wanted us to move here so offered to pay our immigration fees and bought us one way tickets and then loaned us the money to pay off our debts back home and for a car and furniture etc here.
They've also loaned us money for rent and bought us groceries when dh was unemployed and didntvqualify for benefits. They've put no pressure on us to pay them back within a time frame but now that we have our feet under us we want to do it as quickly as possible.

 

[Mummytobe85]

My parents always give us money for LO (i usually put it into her account and spend it on treats, nappies, wipes etc) this year our dad paid for DH, LO and i to go cyprus and see our family as they havent met DH and LO yet.

My mum usually buys us the odd bits and pieces for shopping and LO is spoilt by both grandparents in buying her clothes, shoes etc. My dad is very generous and paid for our new carpets to be fitted and a new front door which was on its last hinges.

I love my parents very much, but always feel bad that my dad ends up paying for stuff even if we dont ask for it... we do have abit of a disposable income but they dont see it that way and he just says he loves spoiling us. I know that if we needed the money, he would help us out financially.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

My mum and dad both work full time but they are not rich. They like to treat the kids now and then and buy me bits and bobs but not give me money as such. They did bail me out a bit when the LOs were younger though!

FIL gave us 8000 4mths ago which allowed us to move house and buy a new car x

 

[faun]

my parents lent us £1000 as we were short when our car went to heaven we had £1500 saved already but the extra meant we could get a much better car. We pay them back £100 a month by standing order they said we could have it but i am far to old to still be getting handouts from my folks. yes they can afford it but i see it as taking money out of their retirement pot and want them to be able to fully enjoy being retired without having to worry about money. My sister on the other hand always has her hand out for money they have given her thousands over the last 5 years everything she wants she just expects them to pay for as her wages are for day to day apparently not saving for holidays, laptops, cars etc thats what bank of mum and dad is for. My brother has never borrowed or expected a handout he works damn hard and budgets so he doesn't need too.

 

[Lina]

Nope, not a penny. We support them instead!

 

[RachA]

My parents don't have a lot of surplus money but they will help all their children out if needed as long as we don't abuse it.
When we moved 5 years ago we couldn't quite get enough of a mortgage for the house that we wanted - we wanted to be able to get a detached that needed a lot of work rather than a semi that didn't need work, that way we wouldn't need to ever move and loose a load of money on stamp duty fees etc. My parents gave us £10,000. This money will be taken off my inheritance if we don't pay it back - they are not expecting it back but we do intend to give it back. My in-laws lent us £15,000 - they are expecting it back sooner rather than later. My in-laws have a lot of surplus money!

I don't feel bad taking it as such but i would only do it if we really needed the money.

 

[Andypanda6570]

We are 42 yrs old now and fine, but when we married we were 19 and I was 20 when I had my first son. My husband always worked his whole life was a great provider, but my dad bought us everything, when we first married he bought our bedroom set, living room and dinning room sets. When my first son was born he bought all his furniture and cases of formula and diapers and wipes and everything. He helped us out a lot in the beginning. My dad lives well, he has 3 pensions and social security, we don't need the help now so he just spoils my 3 sons a lot. I see nothing wrong with parents helping out their kids, if they can afford to. I will always help my kids no matter what, unless they were lazy and didn't work, but if they were struggling I would be there, always

 

[DragonflyWing]

My parents paid for our wedding, and occasionally pay for me to fly back home to visit, since we otherwise wouldn't be able to afford it. Once in a while my mom will send me a hundred dollars just out of the blue to help out. I never ask for this, but it helps a lot so I try to accept it gratefully. I'm sure when the babies come they will want to help even more, but I certainly don't expect it, and sometimes I feel a little bad about it.

 

[XcupcakeX]

My OH parents have helped us a lot financially over the last four years. They have the money though and treat their other children the same so I don't think it's wrong to accept, they want to do it!I

 

[greenlady]

Yes my parents and OH's mum both gave us money to help bump up our deposit on our flat and the renovations we needed to do on it. Both sides have a policy to contribute the same amount to all their children when they buy their first property. My parents have also over the years paid for some flights to Australia from the UK (as we lived there for 10 years) and towards our wedding. Now we have moved to Oz, and are still finding our feet financially, we are staying upstairs from them (they had the first floor converted into a separate apartment) and we aren't currently paying any rent. We have offered but they would prefer us to save for when we move to our own house and especially as another baby is on the way. I'm not 100% comfortable with not paying anything so we will definitely be paying bills here. I will also feel a lot happier when we have our own financial independence, which hopefully is not far away. We spent quite a lot moving back here (from the UK) and I think they wanted to help out as much as possible so that we definitely came!

I have been very lucky that my parents have been so generous and I certainly wouldn't take any money from them if I felt they couldn't afford it.

 

[xlouloux]

OH is an only child so his dad will regularly give us money if we need it. If he didn't the money would just be sitting in the bank waiting to go to OH anyway, he's always more than happy to help us out. His mom and my mom will occasionally lend us the odd bit but we pay it back when we can. We would be screwed without any of it though and we are always extremely grateful for it.

 

[LPF]

When I was younger and training at university my parents helped us buy a house (back when you could get one for 65k!) by extending their mortgage to buy it and we paid the difference in their payments. We bought it off them once working and gained 70k equity in the process that they told us to keep.

They've also bought stuff like the pushchair for lo and lots of bits and pieces even though we didn't need them to. They've never 'given' us handouts though, usually through gifts.

Dh parents don't really do any of that, they tend to leave us to our own devices as they know we are comfortable day to day. But they are sorting out inheritance now and are handing down a large lump sum (150k) when they sell their house to downsize to both siblings to ensure we can both move to bigger houses to accommodate our growing families! This is amazingly generous as there will still be quite a bit in the inheritance pot later.

 

[Ceejay123]

My dad used to help me a lot, he used to pay my phone and car insurance. I used to refuse to accept so he'd put the money in my bank anyway (my dad has a very very high salary and bonus.) nowadays I don't have anything paid by him, I do it all myself. However, I know he's there as a backup if I ever fall on hard times. I would always pay him back though. For example, my student finance took ages last month so he sent me 500 which I gave him back x