Whos parents help them financially?

[Rainbow82]

Wow, I have some serious jealousy going on after reading this. My inlaws dont help us but my mum will help in lite ways such as paying for dinner when she comes to visit and when I was at uni if I went to see them did a weekend she would buy me shopping. They were very generous when we got married and gave us 2000 as a wedding present. I think I'd feel guilty if they have us money regularly and I still haven't cashed the wedding cheque because I know they don't have a lot. They help my brother who is useless with money a lot as well, paying for his wedding, sometimes his mortgage and school shoes for the kids etc.

 

[Siyren]

little bits here and there that are very much appreciated-
my mum just bought lyss some new winter boots. and Oh's mum does the odd food shop here and there and pays for ten hours of our child care a week.
oh's dad and step mum gave us some spending money when we went on holiday with them but tbh we'd have rather had their time- barely saw them for the duration.


it's a massive help but i would never expect it. we're not flush by any means, OH works a just over minimum wage job and im a student. but we're careful with our money. x

 

[dizzyisacow]

too much.both my parents and my in laws. they both helped from the start, payed for the whole wedding, my dad payed alot towards our flat that we bought, then we went close to bankrupt and he gave us both jobs, my mil cooked for us and pretty much raised my firstborn while i was non stop working for a year and provided us with essentials. my mum lets me use her card to buy stuff on the internet but with a limit to not spend on stupid stuff or unecessary things.
then we moved into my parents brand new mountain house and we ended up leaving our flat and eventually renting out to some ******* who wont pay or leave, so more debt happening and my parents pretty much shop for us every week including basics like milk and bread, they pay the electric that comes to about 1000 euros and my dad actually pays me for working from home a normal paycheck.
my inlaws always send us food/nappies when we see them and my dad took me on holiday last year as i could never afford to and hes taking us both next year.

i know i sound like im greedy and have it all but honestly if they didnt help us out i would probarly have lasted another year and then done something too awful to write here because our lives were unbearable.
we have a shitload of debt and with 2 incomes coming in the whole lot goes directly to the bank.we were doing better getting rent but now he wont pay us we are back to nada. and my dad actually has the bloody heart to give me cash now and then after everything they do already. im very gratefull and thankfull to them all.
not to mention my inlaws took out a loan to help us when we were in trouble as well.
i feel bad for it all honestly, i wish i could support myself but its not possible..

 

[amytrisha]

I'm 19 & don't have any children, me and OH have our own house. When we first got together OHs mum did lots for us, she paid for us to move ect.. but now we're on our feet she leaves us alone. My dad on the other hand does a lot, OH needed a bike to get to work & my dad went and bought him one and yesterday he bought us a new TV too cos ours was very old but I'm the only child my dad has got so I think he kinda spoils me more iykwim? (not in a brat way ) but I know this'll stop once me and OH have children.

I think parents should look out for their kids as long as they don't take the p*** with it, I like knowing that if we're ever in trouble my dad will be there

 

[Amy_T]

Oh yes.... Not the inlaws as much (will get a free meal every now and again and they were generous when we got married but they don't have as much as my parents) but my folks are amazing. They insist on paying half of nursery fees, they pay for my eldest's dance lessons (my mum always said she'd pay for her to dance!), but us shopping every week (not everything) and regularly slip us money. They are fantastic. We're not doing badly for money nowadays (we were desperately skint at one point so my parents paid our mortgage!) and we'll often tell them we're ok this month or whatever but they insist. We don't spend much on ourselves so my mum loves to buy me clothes etc.

I feel bad but they can afford it and they love it so much, they say they'd rather help us out now when we need it than see us struggle, they'll still have a good retirement (they both work full time at the minute) and will never lose out because of it.

They said they'd rather support us in our own homes than have us move in with them!!!

 

[Lubbird]

We get no help, i'm usually helping my mum lol. I don't mind tbh cause i like my independence and we have a comfortable life.

 

[BethK]

My mum and dad have bought us a house, give me a high full time wage even though I only work for them 2 days a week and still put £500 a month into our bank.

We do everything we can for them and will look after them when they're older. We only live around the corner from them.

We certainly don't expect these things from them and are eternally grateful for it.

They're workaholics and all their life have worked so their family would not want for anything. Nothing wrong with that. We will do the same with our children.

 

[dgirllamius]

My mum helps me finance my car. I can't get finance as I'm unemployed so she puts it in her name and I pay her for whatever it is. not really giving me money but it's helping all the same. She also paid a credit card off for me and I pay her back now rather than the credit card company.

My OHs family don't help with anything. They bought us winter tyres for Christmas last year but that was it.

 

[Natasha2605]

Jealous with some of these replies. My parents help up by having the girls whilst I work 3 days a week - some weeks my mum has them 21 hours, other weeks 12, depending on OH's shift changes. Financially they don't give us anything, they're both in their 40s and work hard themselves. They still have 4 kids at home, two of school age and two working teens. If we need £40 or so to tide us over till payday we can get it no problem, and they can come to us if needed. I couldn't ever imagine them giving us gifts of money every week/ month. OH would never accept anyway, he's way too proud.

We don't see our inlaws, so nothing off them. They'd have nothing to give anyway.

 

[Siyren]

it intrigues me that some are jealous, how come?
honest question not meant in a judgemental way.

i was barely 20 when i had lyss and she was unplanned. which i think is why our families help us. i could have got a job and helped support us/been independent but it would have been a part time minimum wage affair, so taking the longer road of uni, that's meant alot of financial struggle seemed to make more sense long term x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

^ I think ours are the same. We are not any less independent just because we have got given lump sums in the past?

 

[xvmomovx]

it intrigues me that some are jealous, how come?
honest question not meant in a judgemental way.

I think they mean they are jealous of the extra money in general. Hey who couldn't use extra money

 

[Natasha2605]

it intrigues me that some are jealous, how come?
honest question not meant in a judgemental way.

I think they mean they are jealous of the extra money in general. Hey who couldn't use extra money

That's what I meant , just extra money ! I'd die of shock if somebody handed me a grand for no reason haha

 

[Siyren]

ah im with you now!
thanks girls, hopefully that came accross in the right way.
i guess because in a way we are dependent on a little help (esp the childcare help!) i long for the day where its not necessary x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

We have never just been given it for no reason but just like when we went to get a car, we went in FILs car as mine had just failed MOT and he just handed over the money which was a huge help! So its not stuff like shopping etc but just larger expenses. He just says the government will take all his savings so he may aswell spend them lol x

 

[xvmomovx]

ah im with you now!
thanks girls, hopefully that came accross in the right way.
i guess because in a way we are dependent on a little help (esp the childcare help!) i long for the day where its not necessary x

I know what you mean! We'd never make the mortgage payment and utilities with just my DH's income. I'd have to get a job and find childcare for 2 kids. However, there is a lot of stuff my mom can't do. We do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, I even was doing her laundry until I got so far along.

I wish we didn't need the help with all the bills but it's a situation that's working for everyone for now and it means I get to stay home with my little ones while they are really young.

 

[vhal_x]

My In Laws never help us, they're on benefits, and don't have much money - so we don't really expect anything.

My parents are both in well paid jobs, and although we don't expect help, my mum does help me out a lot, loaning me money here and there if I'm skint. Although she never just gives me the money, I always have to pay her it back. Sometimes I wish she'd gift me some of it, especially right now, as I'm REALLY struggling money-wise, but I know I can't just expect to live off of her money (as much as I'd like to ) xx

 

[MissBroody]

My parents help us out a lot financially and also helped me out a lot during my years at university. They're not exceptionally well off but they both work full time and I'm an only child. My mum will always pick up a tub of milk and some packs of nappies when she goes shopping, she is always asking if there's anything we need... If we go to town together she will tell me to chuck whatever it is into her basket and she'll get it. She brings over packs of toilet rolls and bleach and bits and pieces she thinks we might need and to be honest, it is a massive help. She also pays some money towards ourhuge childcare fees and spoils my boys rotten. Aswell as financially, my parents help out physically and emotionally and to be honest, we rely on them. My mum takes LO and, come April, both LOs to creche 3 das a week before going to work, then picks him up and takes him home for food and a bath then brings him home fo me in his PJs. She makes spare meals for us whenever she can, does some of my ironing if she sees the pile overflowing, and just generally lends a massive hand and I'm forever thankful to both my parents. Being a young family starting out with OH woking full time over an hour awa and not getting home til late, two young kids who both wake at night...who's going to turn away help?
OH's parents, on the other hand, do nothing. They both work and actually earn more than my parents. They are mortgage free ... my parents aren't btw... and OH's mother came into a very vast amount of money when her father passed and his farmhouse and acres of land, tractors etc were sold... of which OH didn't see a penny. It's not that we expect money or help from them, but mucking in and helping out would really be a big help. When OH left uni he was swimming in debt, his parents didn't help him out at all. Even as a child they begrudged every penny they had to spend on him. They kicked him out at 18 and he was left to find somewhere to live - ended up being on my parents shoulders to house and feed him! - and when we got our own place, down to him to get rid of his debt and furnish it. Whilst they swan around in new expensive cars etc. I must sound bratty, but they really are the most stingy tight-fisted people. We met up with them once when LO was small and didn't have two pennies to rub together, they sat there and allowed us to pay for the coffee, and didn't even get LO so much as a cup of squash. They don't help out in the way of childcare or anything either, even though MIL works part time and could offer a morning or so to watch LO. But what grates on me most is that they don't think they should help out at all or dip their hands in their pockets whatsoever, but still expect to be centre of attention at events that my parents have paid entirely for. I dunno.. I guess I'm just of the attitude that I will always help out my boys where I can and would never see them struggle whilst I sat on a huge wad of money. Life is tough enough.
xx

 

[emsiee]

Yes my mum and dad do, but we don't ever expect it. I would certainly do the same for my kids who I would expect to earn a living, just like we do, but a little treat now and now is nothing but good

 

[Abz1982]

My dad does.............he offers then grumbles about being a walking bank! But he has given us the deposit and fees for our house. But that is on the condition that when its sold he gets it back.
He bought my car. Has paid for school fees for me - and then I went and left half way through the year. Paid for lots of things..........but I have always paid him back - which in turn is a catch 22 as then it means I am always broke.