why can't i get pregnant!??

[lala12308]

This is the question I ask myself every month, when my AF shows and I ball my eyes out until I can't cry anymore. I feel so alone in this. Dh doesn't get it, I feel like he doesn't. All he has to do is get it in there. I'm the one with the body that plays tricks every month, I'm the one charting cm, cp, bbt, ss, etc. I'm the one that feels like a failure month after month after month.
My daughter will be 6 in a few months. She's constantly telling me how much she wants a brother or sister.
I can't stand to look at pregnant people or babies anymore.
I'm so bitter and I hate it but I don't know what to do. The timing is right every month so obviously something is wrong.
Sorry for the rant..I just feel so terrible and I have no one to talk to that gets it.

 

[Yammas]

Didnt want to read n run cd1 is the worst

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

Hi Lala,

I'm sorry for how you are feeling but understand. We've been TTC # 2 for almost 2 years. I was just wondering - have you both been for tests to see if there is anything obvious showing up? It took us 5 months to conceive our DS but we have found out my DH has major issues with his SA which is most likely the reason we aren't conceiving again. Chances are it was always bad as nothing has changed in the last 4 years so we could have just been extremely lucky conceiving our DS so quickly.

If you want to talk to other girls that understand I'm part of a great thread. The ladies all know how you feel and can offer some great advice and suggestions or just be there to listen to a rant!

Here's the link if you feel like it - https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/secondary-infertility/1982373-35-trying-2-19-months-am-alone.html

I hope you are feeling a little better today. CD1 is always the worst day ever but you should never feel like a failure. Unfortunately these things are beyond our control. I know that doesn't help at all but sometimes you just need the pressure taken off a little. Sending hugs

 

[lala12308]

Hi Lala,

I'm sorry for how you are feeling but understand. We've been TTC # 2 for almost 2 years. I was just wondering - have you both been for tests to see if there is anything obvious showing up? It took us 5 months to conceive our DS but we have found out my DH has major issues with his SA which is most likely the reason we aren't conceiving again. Chances are it was always bad as nothing has changed in the last 4 years so we could have just been extremely lucky conceiving our DS so quickly.

If you want to talk to other girls that understand I'm part of a great thread. The ladies all know how you feel and can offer some great advice and suggestions or just be there to listen to a rant!

Here's the link if you feel like it - https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/secondary-infertility/1982373-35-trying-2-19-months-am-alone.html

I hope you are feeling a little better today. CD1 is always the worst day ever but you should never feel like a failure. Unfortunately these things are beyond our control. I know that doesn't help at all but sometimes you just need the pressure taken off a little. Sending hugs

Thank you for your reply . We haven't had any tests done by a fertility specialist. I don't want any procedures to help with pregnancy or fertility drugs. I've had my routine pap and pelvic exam and everything seemed okay. My cycles were really messed up for a while..so I never knew when I was ovulating. One month i would have a 36 day cycle, the next 30, 40..The last three months though they have been exactly 31 days and ovulation on day 17-18. Maybe I'm ovulating too late idk. I'm going to try preseed, fertilaid for me and dh, and might even give softcups a try. I'm feeling better today though. Cd1 I always feel miserable. Im trying g to keep hope it will happen. It took me two years of unprotected sex with dh to get pg with our first, but we weren't trying just weren't preventing. Thanks again for your nice words

 

[hanelei]

Hi, I can totally sympathise, we have been trying for number 2 for a long time now and I felt like I was doing everything right, so why wasn't I getting pregnant! I finally made the decision to go to a fertility specialist though and got an answer from my first blood test, just found out this morning actually- apparently I have very low AMH, the hormone which indicates how many eggs you have left. I'm 38 but I probably have the egg reserves of an average 43 year old Apparently much younger women can also have this problem, even if you have conceived before.

I'm not so sure I want to go ahead with any kind of fertility treatment either, but at least I now have a concrete reason!

I really recommend going to have some blood tests if you haven't already- it won't mean you have to proceed with any kind of treatment, but might give you an answer as to why you haven't been able to conceive yet

 

[snozbery26]

Lala. I hear you loud and clear. We have been trying for 5 years, over the last year we have begun fertility treatments including ivf. It can be such an awful ride every month, you think "this time we timed it perfectly, this will be my bfp..." then its af instead. And sometimes having a little one at home makes me feel so selfish, all this emotional energy into a baby we DONT have that feels taken from the one we DO have. I have to believe everything happens for a reason, and when it is intended. We will all get what we are supposed to, good luck!

 

[gonnagetabump]

I feel u girl I'm nearing a yr ttc.....after preventing for nearly 9years. Its an emotional roller coaster but u need to let it out and be heard!! U will come back down from being upset and know that u still get to try again!!

 

[Yumymumy22]

I'm in the same boat now I feel the same with my OH he just doesn't know what to do when I burst out crying randomly throughout the month. Just holding my breath until the day I can tell my little girl shes finally going to be a big sister. until then xx

 

[Zeri]

I totally get it. I'm here on 13 dpo with AF cramps starting up, and feeling like it's really going to crush me this time. My daughter will be turning 4 tomorrow...I just carried some cake to her school so she could celebrate with her friends. All I can think of is that I wanted to be able to give her brother or sister by the time she was 3....I remember being sad last year that it didn't happen...and now here we are another year gonoe and I'm still in the same position. It sucks! Yesterday in the car she was talking about her baby brother and sister that she's going to get. I just feel like such a failure that I can't give her that. Breaks my heart. I really wanted to be a mom in time for her 4 th birthday and before Christmas too...

Has your DH ever been tested?

 

[WhiteOrchid24]

I feel the same way Zeri....my DS will be 4 in 1 month and I always planned to have a 3 year age gap.... December marks 2 years for us since we started TTC #2 and nothing.
Unfortunately we are dealing with MFI but because it happened before I'm trying to stay positive that it will happen again. I'm currently 13dpo but temp dropped this morning and have the horrible 'feeling' that AF is just around the corner It's so difficult....

 

[lauraemily17]

That could have been me writing that post on cd1! That day is the worst. I had probs conceiving my son so to be here again is breaking my heart. It's even harder second time round.

Sending and :babydust:

 

[JViti]

you just described me to a tee!!! I have a 7 yr old who constantly asks for a baby. I feel like a failure month after month, and my DH doesnt understand. I mean he gets upset too, but he doesnt understand why I cry about it. Its MY problem...MY body is playing tricks, MY body is the one that cant get pregnant. THere is nothing wrong with him and if he really wanted to (I know he wouldnt but...) he could go find some other chick and get her pregnant with no issues.

I just found out an hour ago that my SIL is pregnant. I am DEVASTATED. I feel betrayed, hurt, angry, sad, jealous, you name it I feel it. I feel like someone punched me over and over in the gut. Why her? Why not me? Ive been trying for over 3 years altogether...I am more financially stable...I am healthier (she has ulcerative colitis, so shes high risk). Shes only been trying 5 months. NOT FAIR AT ALL!!!

If you need a shoulder or a buddy, dont hesitate!!

 

[laneylaney]

i was trying for two years and no luck but when i lost 3 stone - bang that was me. Hope all works out for u x

 

[misaacs117]

This is the question I ask myself every month, when my AF shows and I ball my eyes out until I can't cry anymore. I feel so alone in this. Dh doesn't get it, I feel like he doesn't. All he has to do is get it in there. I'm the one with the body that plays tricks every month, I'm the one charting cm, cp, bbt, ss, etc. I'm the one that feels like a failure month after month after month.
My daughter will be 6 in a few months. She's constantly telling me how much she wants a brother or sister.
I can't stand to look at pregnant people or babies anymore.
I'm so bitter and I hate it but I don't know what to do. The timing is right every month so obviously something is wrong.
Sorry for the rant..I just feel so terrible and I have no one to talk to that gets it.

I want to get an update. My husband and have been TTC for over 3 Very frustrating and emotionally draining. I finally had enough and sought out a well known RE. Did my blood work and it was all good. Great even. Went and did an HSG test and might have a blocked tube. Then I went for a postcoital test and found out I have cervical mucus not conducive for sperm due to having 2 LEEPS done. I feel much better knowing something. We just did our first round of IUI- unsuccessful. So trying round two here soon. Hope all is well

 

[JJKCB]

I understand, my son is 5 on Monday and announced yesterday that for his birthday he wants a little sister

it made me feel horrible as I always wanted him to have a sibling to bond with (I wanted 3 years between them so they would be close but not on top of each other) but I seem incapable of doing that