twickywabbit
Scout+Indie's mommy
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I was lurking around my usual forums because, you know, I have no life, and this debate was being had. Is marriage necessary? Why do people get married? Can't you do the same things married couples do by being in a committed not-married relationship?
I am only 20 years old, my husband Dan and I tied the knot when I was 18, right out of high school...he graduated a year before me, but still, that is still young. Since my 2nd wedding anniversary is right around the corner, June 12th, I started thinking of an answer to this question. It really is a good question and truthfully, when I thought about it long and hard, there really isn't a legitimate reason. Every answer was either irrational or sounded stupid.
But here is my answer to the question anyway, and even though I am a religious person, I am leaving religion out of this. Simply because anyone can get married no matter what religion, gender, or background. Plus, religion alone, to me, isn't a good enough reason to marry someone. So yeah, leaving religion out of it, here is my two cents.
Again, these are MY opinions, and yes as a married woman, I admit some of these reasons, if not all, sound dumb and probably are to some people. Just trying to be completely honest, and trying to give reasons why me and maybe other people get married, other than "I love him/her".
My Top 5 Reasons I Got Married :
#5 It's Flashy.
Let me tell you something, when we first got married, every time I referred to Dan as "my husband", I giggled like a little school girl. I loved saying "my husband" and it was amazing how much it bothered people. It was almost like people were jealous...maybe they were.
#4 Benefits/Taxes
Yes, ladies and gents. Stupid, stupid reason. For me, it ranks right up there with getting married only to obtain legal citizenship of a country (Green card, anyone?). But, being married to each other has paid off in that department. To be honest, we didn't appreciate this until after marriage and being dirt poor.
#3 Stigma
Well, in most cases, most associate marriage as an good adult quality. Even companies hiring people look for married people. They love it, they take you more seriously, it shows them that you are an "adult"... not saying it is right, but, that's just the way it is. Socially, it shows people that someone can stand you, you're a member of society, for a man it shows that your junk works, and that you're committed. I feel more grown up and responsible now that I am married and most people look upon us in favor, especially now that I am pregnant.
#2 It's Hard to Leave
Marriage forces you to work harder. No matter how good your marriage is...I mean Dan and I don't beat each other or have any violent kind of fights, but let me just say, that if you're married and you don't fight, you ain't doin' it right. I can think of a couple of instances in our marriage, that if we were in a boyfriend/girlfriend scenario, me or him would of probably bounced. But since we were married, it kind of made us hesitate, pause if you will. And a few months later, after those intense potential relationship-destroying fights, we we basically found out "Damn, glad we stayed and stuck it out". And I don't care what people say, you can't just bail out of the door and leave for good if you are legally married. People always say "Divorce is just as easy, blah blah blah" No, it's not. Divorce is kind of big process, and it takes a little time, especially with children. Divorce is easier said then done. Leaving your girlfriend/boyfriend? Easy peasy. Just leave the premises and change your number. Unless you have children of course(even then I've heard of people just leaving without a trace anyway), but that's a whole new ball game. In the end, it challenges you to dig deeper and force yourself to work harder on your relationship. I know I have become a better person.
#1 Love
I know I said I wouldn't put "love" as a reason, but hear me out for a minute. I believe that marriage is beautiful and sacred. Most people say "It's just a piece of paper, blah blah blah"...well, yeah, there is piece of paper involved, but to me that isn't the point. Ever heard of actions speak louder than words? Well, Dan told me loved me all the time, and I believed him. But when we were at that alter, in front of 80 some people, and he took my hand and looked into my eyes and VOWED, PROMISED me that I would be the only one till death do us part,that he would cherish me, take care of me, and always love me...well, that meant the universe to me. I almost can't explain. When I said those vows to him, I meant them with every fiber of my being and my complete heart and soul. I always believed he loved me, but by showing me his commitment through that wonderful celebration of our love we call a wedding, that really confirmed it, and the fact that he still strives to keep those promises and fulfill those vows, well that is just the ultimate for me.
That's all I've got. Maybe they are irrational or illegitimate, but, hey.
Dan is the only person I feel like the grass isn't greener on the other side. I feel like my yard looks pretty damn good and I work to maintain it. A lot of people that try to jump the fence tend to forget that every yard and all grass needs mowed and watered.
Things I've learned:
-Marriage is compromise, compromise, compromise.
-Communication is key.
-Love doesn't pay the bills(unfortunately) but it can get you through some rough times.
-Never go to bed angry.
-Always make a point to make sure the other one knows how much you appreciate them.
Marriage has been a learning experience and it will continue to be so. This baby girl will test our relationship, and bend it to the point of breaking. I know we can survive though.
All in all, Dan is the cheese to my macaroni and I am lucky to have him.
So, keeping in mind that there is no "right" answer... Why did you/are you get(tting) married? Why do you think people get married?
Just wanted some opinions and please keep it clean, keep it real, but be nice.
I am only 20 years old, my husband Dan and I tied the knot when I was 18, right out of high school...he graduated a year before me, but still, that is still young. Since my 2nd wedding anniversary is right around the corner, June 12th, I started thinking of an answer to this question. It really is a good question and truthfully, when I thought about it long and hard, there really isn't a legitimate reason. Every answer was either irrational or sounded stupid.
But here is my answer to the question anyway, and even though I am a religious person, I am leaving religion out of this. Simply because anyone can get married no matter what religion, gender, or background. Plus, religion alone, to me, isn't a good enough reason to marry someone. So yeah, leaving religion out of it, here is my two cents.
Again, these are MY opinions, and yes as a married woman, I admit some of these reasons, if not all, sound dumb and probably are to some people. Just trying to be completely honest, and trying to give reasons why me and maybe other people get married, other than "I love him/her".
My Top 5 Reasons I Got Married :
#5 It's Flashy.
Let me tell you something, when we first got married, every time I referred to Dan as "my husband", I giggled like a little school girl. I loved saying "my husband" and it was amazing how much it bothered people. It was almost like people were jealous...maybe they were.
#4 Benefits/Taxes
Yes, ladies and gents. Stupid, stupid reason. For me, it ranks right up there with getting married only to obtain legal citizenship of a country (Green card, anyone?). But, being married to each other has paid off in that department. To be honest, we didn't appreciate this until after marriage and being dirt poor.
#3 Stigma
Well, in most cases, most associate marriage as an good adult quality. Even companies hiring people look for married people. They love it, they take you more seriously, it shows them that you are an "adult"... not saying it is right, but, that's just the way it is. Socially, it shows people that someone can stand you, you're a member of society, for a man it shows that your junk works, and that you're committed. I feel more grown up and responsible now that I am married and most people look upon us in favor, especially now that I am pregnant.
#2 It's Hard to Leave
Marriage forces you to work harder. No matter how good your marriage is...I mean Dan and I don't beat each other or have any violent kind of fights, but let me just say, that if you're married and you don't fight, you ain't doin' it right. I can think of a couple of instances in our marriage, that if we were in a boyfriend/girlfriend scenario, me or him would of probably bounced. But since we were married, it kind of made us hesitate, pause if you will. And a few months later, after those intense potential relationship-destroying fights, we we basically found out "Damn, glad we stayed and stuck it out". And I don't care what people say, you can't just bail out of the door and leave for good if you are legally married. People always say "Divorce is just as easy, blah blah blah" No, it's not. Divorce is kind of big process, and it takes a little time, especially with children. Divorce is easier said then done. Leaving your girlfriend/boyfriend? Easy peasy. Just leave the premises and change your number. Unless you have children of course(even then I've heard of people just leaving without a trace anyway), but that's a whole new ball game. In the end, it challenges you to dig deeper and force yourself to work harder on your relationship. I know I have become a better person.
#1 Love
I know I said I wouldn't put "love" as a reason, but hear me out for a minute. I believe that marriage is beautiful and sacred. Most people say "It's just a piece of paper, blah blah blah"...well, yeah, there is piece of paper involved, but to me that isn't the point. Ever heard of actions speak louder than words? Well, Dan told me loved me all the time, and I believed him. But when we were at that alter, in front of 80 some people, and he took my hand and looked into my eyes and VOWED, PROMISED me that I would be the only one till death do us part,that he would cherish me, take care of me, and always love me...well, that meant the universe to me. I almost can't explain. When I said those vows to him, I meant them with every fiber of my being and my complete heart and soul. I always believed he loved me, but by showing me his commitment through that wonderful celebration of our love we call a wedding, that really confirmed it, and the fact that he still strives to keep those promises and fulfill those vows, well that is just the ultimate for me.
That's all I've got. Maybe they are irrational or illegitimate, but, hey.
Dan is the only person I feel like the grass isn't greener on the other side. I feel like my yard looks pretty damn good and I work to maintain it. A lot of people that try to jump the fence tend to forget that every yard and all grass needs mowed and watered.
Things I've learned:
-Marriage is compromise, compromise, compromise.
-Communication is key.
-Love doesn't pay the bills(unfortunately) but it can get you through some rough times.
-Never go to bed angry.
-Always make a point to make sure the other one knows how much you appreciate them.
Marriage has been a learning experience and it will continue to be so. This baby girl will test our relationship, and bend it to the point of breaking. I know we can survive though.
All in all, Dan is the cheese to my macaroni and I am lucky to have him.
So, keeping in mind that there is no "right" answer... Why did you/are you get(tting) married? Why do you think people get married?
Just wanted some opinions and please keep it clean, keep it real, but be nice.
we are still extremely happy and loved up
