why do exs bother

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by MummyMummy, Apr 14, 2009.

  1. MummyMummy

    MummyMummy Well-Known Member

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    like i need the stress right now of even more worry my son is going to feel pushed out/unloved :(

    he started school about 2 weeks ago... not once has his daddy took him/picked him up and as asked about him once, the day he started. he texted last night saying 'where and what time should i pick *name* up?' so i said he's at school till 12.30 and told him grandad would drop him off at 1pm. g/dad (nan too!) helping loads right now with fetching/carrying/minding as spd/pgp super sore.

    grandad took him to his daddy and i phoned before picking mr.man up from work to ask for car seat,ready to pick up baby. this was at around 4pm. grandad said he was just on his way out to pick baby up!! :o his daddy was done with him at 4.30pm :| what on earth was the point in having him? not so long ago itold ex that baby was missing him and was wanting to phone him on his roary (the car) phone because he was convinced daddy would talk to him then and since that he hasn't made no extra effort at all!!! he usually sees son once a week (tue) then next week twice (tue and sat) around 5hours each time, he's cut his hours with baby today and he wont bother to make it up. he of course couldn't miss his band practise today/rearrange to spend more timewith baby!!

    i don't make it hard for ex, only son that will sufferin end andit's not my place to do that and don't agreewith it, both me and mr.man have said you can have him whenever for however long, just let us have a bit of warning. have offered to drive them places so they can spend more time together/see more together if transport is a problem. gave email adds/house phone/all mobile numbers so there is no problem with gettingin contact to speak to/about son.i just want him to make more of an effort as baby misses him, alot and often tells us. he's so confused about his daddy not so long ago he lay on settee talking to himself saying 'i love my daddy. nooooo. i love my daddy. noooo' :'(

    as you all know ifeel so bad and stressed right now, worrying that me and mr.man wont get thebalance right between both babies. i really don't need the hassell of ex cutting the amount of time he sees son down on top of everything else cause baby will pick up on it, as he has in past :( at 32weeks preg witha head full ofworries i don't need more :(

    i wanna just :grr: him... but i don't even think that would knock some sense into him.

    xXx
     
  2. csmummu

    csmummu Home to Charlie.

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    Aww honey :hugs: i hope you dont worry too much. x
     
  3. cs22

    cs22 Mum and ttc# 2

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    Sorry to hear this is happening hun, sounds like youre ex is being really uncooperative. You have offered to have baby taken to him and everything. Hope things get better and he realises he should spend more time with his baby :hugs:
     
  4. MummyMummy

    MummyMummy Well-Known Member

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    he drives me crazy. if i was one of them mums that take the p and make their ex jump fru hoops to seetheir kid then i could understand him not making much of an effort or thinking 'is it worth it?' but i don't. i've always tried to be accomodating. i've spoken to him, shouted at him, asked him nothing seems to work.

    i don'tknow how to get thru to him? even my mr.man has spoken, you know from a blokes point of view.even saying he can't compete with ex, baby needs him, him alone isn't good enough in sons eyes and that didn't get through :(

    xXx
     
  5. ugh! what a jerk! i'd want to smack him, too!
    hugs!
     
  6. nikkip75

    nikkip75 Well-Known Member

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    i know where your coming from, my 13 year old stopped seeing her dad when she was 2, just cos he couldnt be bothered anymore, i never ever stopped him he just couldnt be arsed!!

    but he turned up last summer, giving her all the talk about how hes missed her and wanted to start seeing her again, we didnt stop him, shes old enough now to make the decision. he took her to town once, bought her an ipod, text her a few times telling her he loved her an all that crap, sent down some xmas pressies and she hasnt heard a thing since!!!oh and he sent her a bday card which was written by his mum! dd knew this and was really angry saying he couldnt even be bothered to write it out himself!

    but although i feel sorry for her, she now knows what hes like, she doesnt even call him dad, calls him by his name.

    i would just say you are doing the right thing by not stopping him seeing your son, one day your little boy will know what kind of a dad he is and will have alot of respect for the way you and your OH handled it....kids arent soft they can see more than they let on...:hug:
     
  7. MummyMummy

    MummyMummy Well-Known Member

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    i hope so, i'd hate for him to one day turn around and say it's allmy fault that i wrecked his family etc etcas it was me who ended itwith his dad. that would break my heart.

    xXx
     

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