Why do mums seem to get off on hating on each other?

[Abz1982]

So I replied to a Post on FB on the childcare page.
MY view, MY opinion and why I feel something doesn't work for me and why it was affecting my children, and FOOK ME obviously I am wrong.

My opinion is wrong
What I do for my children is wrong.

Well excuse me if I refuse to work for a negative amount just to keep on in a career that I hated, or if I wont take a job that will actually cost me to do. My daughter WAS suffering from me working, MY daughter, MY situation. Mainly down to the commute and her having to be in childcare from 7/7:30am (some days 6:30 am if I had a lot on) till 6:30 7pm at night. Sorry but no, I would NOT do that for negative funds.

I personally, do not care that it would show my children me contributing to society, because when they ask what nice things we can do as I am working, and I have to tell them, well actually, you can no longer do this and we cant afford to go here because it is costing me more in childcare than I earn....what would they think?? I have spoken to my 7yt old about me going back to work and she gets so anxious she has panic attacks. Then she would have to stop doing all the things she loves - dancing, gymnastics, brownies - as there are no classes left on the weekend she can do and no one else who can take her during the week.

Now if someone was climbing a career ladder, or in professional training then I can FULLY understand why you would do this. The same as I understand that some people pay for their kids to go to nursery when they don't work(if you have no friends with kids the same age it is a god send!).

But wow....why do people have such issues with working and not working? One woman actually accused me of being one of those 'perfect mothers' in a snidey way, I really wish I had the mad between the lines reading skills she has, would have helped me in English so so much.

This is a pointless post, but it has really peeved me. We get everyone likeing memes that go around about not hating on each other, but dare to add your OWN PERSONAL experience and your shot down.

We women are some weird weird beings

 

[rachieroo]

This!!!

I am 100% with you! You need to do whatever works for you!

I know that I will be pulling my hair out and so ready to go back to work by the time my mat leave is up. I shouldn't have to apologise for that. My husband is amazing and even though he has a job, his hours are a lot less than mine and so he does the majority of the housework and sorts our girls out most of the time. He is so much more suited to being at home than me and that's OK because it works for us.

I wish people were more supportive of each others choices, especially when they have absolutely no bearing on other people's lives.

X

 

[babycrazy1706]

I'm with you too ! Personally I support every mums choice as we are all struggling in our own way and trying to do our best. Mothers need to unite!!! Hugs xx

 

[Bella1185]

Okay, this why I don't have social media (minus Instagram which is harmless because I know all the whopping 30 friends on there)...because I swear these people are TROLLLLLLINGGGGG trying to get a reply different from their own opinion so they can attack it. Who has time for this??

It is so silly. Whoever posts these "questions" (especially in regard to motherhood and parenting)knows they will get passionate responses, and then they wait to latch on and attack any opinion different from their own.

Truthfully it's too exhausting for me. I can't believe anyone has time to sit around virally picking apart others opinions after they've posted what should be viewed as an "open poll".....

Every mom does her own thing and marches to the beat of her own drummer - and thank God for that or else ALL our kids would be so rigid and boring we'd never enjoy a good laugh about parenting

I'd just stop replying to that kinda thing and spare yourself the worry! You know you are doing an awesome job - and the only "safe" place to hash it out/get good advice is in person with your buddies (in my own humble opinion)

 

[cleckner04]

This is my thought. If you look across the internet on all kinds of topics, not just parenting, you will always have trolls or rudeness when someone disagrees with an opinion. To me, that is the hardest part about posting my thoughts and opinions online. I get so worried that I will be torn apart by people that are just angry people even in real life I'm sure.

Parenting just happens to be something that you can do many many ways and a life is literally depending on it, unlike working on a car or learning a specific recipe, etc that you can find online. And since the stakes are so high in parenting no one wants to think THEY are doing it wrong. So if your opinion even a little goes against what they do, it gets to be a touchy subject.

I agree people just need to learn to read and get over it if they read something they absolutely don't like. You obviously touched a nerve even if it was unintentional. You do what's best for you and your children. I don't know many that would continue to work if it meant going in a zero balance plus missing out on important kid stuff.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I cant believe some of the stuff I see. I got deleted today about the school system. I was only saying how shouldnt have to conform to a page full of expected targets and bullet points.

Jeez people nee to stop being so offended at non offensive comments.

 

[c1403]

Totally agree. When I first became a parent I really struggled as it felt like everyone had a comment to make in whatever decision we made. Fortunately I have now leant to do what I feel is right, other parents may do things different but I accept that we are all different and try not to judge. Fortunately the group of parents I now hang with are the same and all our kids are happy...thankfully!

 

[cleckner04]

^^^ that reminds me I was once kicked out of a Mom/baby group bc they wanted to go out and party in the evenings and I wasn't into that. Plus I was the only breastfeeder and they all hated that. I was better off and found better friends but it was a stressful time for me with my first child.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I went to a group last night,mainly for my partners benefit as his 1st my 4th. They were all first time parents but at first I was scared to speak incase I looked like i knew it all (I defo dont!) I was the only one wanting a home birth etc I just felt like a loser having different answers to everyone lol. X

 

[Abz1982]

Okay, this why I don't have social media (minus Instagram which is harmless because I know all the whopping 30 friends on there)...because I swear these people are TROLLLLLLINGGGGG trying to get a reply different from their own opinion so they can attack it. Who has time for this??

It is so silly. Whoever posts these "questions" (especially in regard to motherhood and parenting)knows they will get passionate responses, and then they wait to latch on and attack any opinion different from their own.

Truthfully it's too exhausting for me. I can't believe anyone has time to sit around virally picking apart others opinions after they've posted what should be viewed as an "open poll".....

Every mom does her own thing and marches to the beat of her own drummer - and thank God for that or else ALL our kids would be so rigid and boring we'd never enjoy a good laugh about parenting

I'd just stop replying to that kinda thing and spare yourself the worry! You know you are doing an awesome job - and the only "safe" place to hash it out/get good advice is in person with your buddies (in my own humble opinion)

It was the Childcare.co.uk FB page.....

Not surprisingly after I called them all judgemental bs' no one else replied. haha

 

[Bella1185]

Okay, this why I don't have social media (minus Instagram which is harmless because I know all the whopping 30 friends on there)...because I swear these people are TROLLLLLLINGGGGG trying to get a reply different from their own opinion so they can attack it. Who has time for this??

It is so silly. Whoever posts these "questions" (especially in regard to motherhood and parenting)knows they will get passionate responses, and then they wait to latch on and attack any opinion different from their own.

Truthfully it's too exhausting for me. I can't believe anyone has time to sit around virally picking apart others opinions after they've posted what should be viewed as an "open poll".....

Every mom does her own thing and marches to the beat of her own drummer - and thank God for that or else ALL our kids would be so rigid and boring we'd never enjoy a good laugh about parenting

I'd just stop replying to that kinda thing and spare yourself the worry! You know you are doing an awesome job - and the only "safe" place to hash it out/get good advice is in person with your buddies (in my own humble opinion)

It was the Childcare.co.uk FB page.....

Not surprisingly after I called them all judgemental bs' no one else replied. haha

Oh good grief!!! That makes it extra bad!!!! Good for you for standing your ground! It's so ridiculous that they attacked you for your opinion