Why do people disagee that its a good idea?

[charliemeg]

DH and I have always said we are going to adopt after we have had our own children. But instead of adopting a younger child, adopt an older one as (as awful as it is to say) they are not as wanted and more likely to go in foster care instead.

We both feel we have enough love and stability to offer a child or maybe more but people say its a bad idea. They tell me that it will be hard work but surely it is harder for the child? I feel really sad that people try and talk me out of it.

It is a defo in our book and of course we will make sure our own children are comfortable about it. It makes me sad that there are so many unwanted children in todays world so why not help them.

 

[Waiting2bMommy]

Awww i'm sorry people feel that way. I think it would be a wonderful idea to adopt an older child... doesn't matter if it may be a little harder it will be even more rewarding in the end for sure! I would like to adopt older children myself, there are so many sitting in homes that feel unloved and would love to be able to provide that for them. I admire you both for wanting to do it! I wish you the best!

 

[dizzy65]

i totally agree and me and OH if we were ever goina adopt it would be an older one too because of the reasons u just said

 

[charliemeg]

Thanks, that is one of the reasons we have been working soooooo hard since we have been together not just for our children but to make sure we can adopt and we have everything we can to provide for a child.

Your comments are defo making me feel better and I am now feeling a little better. I think my friends must think I am crazy but hey what the hell we feel strongly about it

 

[Alexas Mommy]

I think you and your OH are wonderful for wanting to adopt, and even more wonderful for wanting to adopt a teenager!! I was a foster child my WHOLE life, (in the same foster home from age 1-15) and when Childrens Aid removed me from my first foster home 2 days after my 15th birthday because of abuse, I was put into a group home. Luckily I was only there a week because they had found a foster home for me (which is very rare, because usually teens are not wanted in foster homes. I was in that foster home until I turned 17, and left to live independently ( my own choice). My foster parents, Shawna and Dave, have made me who I am today, and I can not express how grateful I am, that they took me in... I consider them my parents and still have a wonderful relationship with them. Anyway, I just want to thank you for taking teens into consideration when Adopting... You and your OH will definitely change some lucky teens life.

 

[charliemeg]

I think you and your OH are wonderful for wanting to adopt, and even more wonderful for wanting to adopt a teenager!! I was a foster child my WHOLE life, (in the same foster home from age 1-15) and when Childrens Aid removed me from my first foster home 2 days after my 15th birthday because of abuse, I was put into a group home. Luckily I was only there a week because they had found a foster home for me (which is very rare, because usually teens are not wanted in foster homes. I was in that foster home until I turned 17, and left to live independently ( my own choice). My foster parents, Shawna and Dave, have made me who I am today, and I can not express how grateful I am, that they took me in... I consider them my parents and still have a wonderful relationship with them. Anyway, I just want to thank you for taking teens into consideration when Adopting... You and your OH will definitely change some lucky teens life.

Thank you so much. You dont need to thank us for considering teens. We have agree that they are the ones that need it the most and we cant say what age it will be as I am not sure how it works but we said the min age we would like is about 11 as it is hard enough when you are teenager without the stress of not having a stable home. It makes me so sad when I hear stories and which I could take all children in but that is not possible.

The reason why we want to adopt and not foster is because we want the child to be stable and know that we will provide them a home no matter what.

I would do it now but we are not really in the position to do it and H wants to have his own first and then put our name down. He is a really kind person and I am so proud that he wants to do this with me.

 

[Alexas Mommy]

You have no idea how much that warms my heart though, knowing there are people out there like you guys...

 

[Waiting2bMommy]

I watch that show Extreme Home Makeover.. and so many people take in older kids and change there lives and that exactly what you would be doing! that show makes me cry but makes me think of this situation and the great things you will be doing for some lucky less fortunate kids!

 

[princess_bump]

what wonderful people you are i think this is a wonderful wonderful thing and couldn't agree more with it. if we were to ever adopt, and we considered it as i was told i couldn't have children, i wouldn't have cared what age, all children need a loving home, what ever that maybe

alexas mommy - what a wonderful strong women you are, i am so glad you found the parents to make you who you are today, its credit to them and to you

 

[charliemeg]

I watch that show Extreme Home Makeover.. and so many people take in older kids and change there lives and that exactly what you would be doing! that show makes me cry but makes me think of this situation and the great things you will be doing for some lucky less fortunate kids!

I have never seen that what channel is it on?

 

[charliemeg]

You have no idea how much that warms my heart though, knowing there are people out there like you guys...

Awww hunny I just want to say I think you are wonderful and glad you have come through your hardship and found your foster parents. That makes me sooooooo happy

 

[LeaArr]

I think it's FANTASTIC that you want to offer your home to an older child. It is harder work, but so beneficial.

 

[Sambatiki]

I think that yes it will probably be harder, but how rewarding! Its ashame there arent more people like yourself. GO FOR IT!!

 

[princess_x0]

It's an excellent idea. You and your OH are being so selfless, and it will be very rewarding. Yes it will be hardwork, as the child will most likely have problems. But it will be worth it in the end. Don't let people talk you out of it. xxx

 

[FsMummy]

omg dont ever let anyone try and change your mind. you obviosly are wonderful people and if it is truly what you want then that is excellent! sounds like you've talked about it a lot and really want to do it. it is your choice and noone's business but yours and your husbands. tell everyone else to butt out x

 

[Chris77]

Charliemeg, I think your idea is fabulous and there should be more people in the world like you. I'm sorry you're receiving a hard time about this. Ultimately, it is YOUR life and you have to do what you feel is best.

 

[Mrs Doddy]

Adoption is going to be a personal opinion that only you know if it is the best thing. I personally have my reservations having been an only child to have a step brother and sister at 7 years old. It is hard as I found they got special treatment and I was pushed out, I also had to contend with a step mother who I didn't really get on with and could do nothing about it until I left home. I know it is not the same but similar how the adopted child may feel. My H is also adopted and the relationship he has with his adopted family is also tainted by their real son as he is the "favourite" and is treated totally differently.

I am not saying this would be the same with you but I can understand why some people may not think it is a good idea.

Good luck - the country needs more people like you