Why Do People Feel The Need To Comment On Bump Size?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Oasis717, Jun 5, 2013.

  1. Oasis717

    Oasis717 Well-Known Member

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    So I'm 22 plus 4, normal amount of fluid, baby is on track at 1lb 2 ounces (had a scan Mon) I think I'm a normal size for 5 and a half months, I don't feel overly huge but because I was a size 14 when I fell I probably am a little sensitive about how I look which didn't bother me (dh says I look absolutely beautiful) until I saw one of the mums yesterday I used to talk to at the school before my dd 12 left for seniors, after chatting for a bit she asked when I was due, I said Oct 5th to which she replied OMG you're huge, I said I don't think I am for 5 and a half, she said you are you're huge. I left the shop where I bumped into her feeling so crappy about myself, ive only put 8 lbs on and my face has actually got slimmer, dh was really annoyed and said I should have told her to do one but I wasn't about to let her know she'd upset me. I just don't get why people would say something like that to a pregnant woman who may already be feeling a little sensitive about their appearance. I wouldn't dream of saying that to anyone!! Is it just me? Xxxxx
     
  2. suzieishere

    suzieishere Well-Known Member

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    I think people who say that are incredibly rude!!! That's the last thing you should say to a pregnant woman!!!
    I'm not in the same boat as you but my thing here lately is being compared to another girl that's pregnant at work. She is due October 14th and I'm due November 4th. I have stopped mentioning stuff all together because my coworkers just say "Well Clare...."

    Not everyone has the concept of thinking how things might make people feel before they say them.
    :hugs:
     
  3. Foxy37

    Foxy37 Well-Known Member

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    Most people that say rude coments are insecure about themselves xx
     
  4. abbie23

    abbie23 Well-Known Member

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    Are you sure it wasn't well-meant, as in - omg you're pregnant! or there's a baby in there! I think that before I got pregnant, I would probably have said something like that without thinking too much about it. Now that I am pregnant, I find it funny that the brain has these little processing glitches and I feel like my expanding belly is just me getting fat, even though I do know that I'm pregnant and that your belly is supposed to get bigger when pregnant! Before, I would never have thought that women would be self-conscious about the bump, since being pregnant is such an exciting and positive thing. Now, of course, I'm starting to see how confronting it is to have your body shape changing (and at so rapid a pace).

    As you've said - you're at a normal size! You're not fat - there's a baby in there! There'd be something wrong if you weren't getting bigger.
     
  5. Noo

    Noo Mum to 2 boys xx

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    Ahh, Honey! Honestly! I get this all the time! It doesn't help that I'm really short so the only way my bump is growing is outwards! I am also slightly sensitive about my weight to begin with but I've actually lost 2kg since my booking yet I still get "Are you sure? Nooo, you're having two? OMG you are fricken huge, you'll have that baby before the summer" Gee thanks, I certainly don't want a premature baby, thank you very much! Yes, I'm measuring slightly large (28cm at 24 weeks) but I have a short torso and have big babies.... Mind your own business! I'm sure women conveniently "forget" how awful you feel when pregnant and people say those things :(
     
  6. Perplexed

    Perplexed Mommy of 2

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    It's so ridiculous how people feel they need to comment on how we look like! I honestly haven't had any comments and my dh keeps saying "how can you look at yourself getting bigger as a negative thing? there's a baby in there! you should be getting bigger!" but don't think I can take any "you're huge" comments from anyone... so rude...

    Sometimes I keep mentally preparing myself for a stupid conversation.
    "Wow you're so big are you pregnant?!"
    "No." *poker face and walks away slowly*

    Wonder what kind of reaction that would get.
     
  7. Oasis717

    Oasis717 Well-Known Member

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    Aw thank you for replying ladies, I got the impression from her face and her asking when I was due she was trying to say I'm absolutely huge for my dates, which I don't think I am at all, huge is like ginormous, gigantic! She's about a size 18 herself so you would think she would be a little more tactful in her words, of course I have a belly there's a baby in there, but omg you're huge with a shocked expression is not necessary thank you! Xxxxx
     
  8. zanDark

    zanDark <3 IVF mom <3

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    this! They tend to make rude remarks to feel better about themselves :dohh:

    I've been getting kind of the opposite...I've been dress shopping for my brothers wedding that's in a month and tell the sales people that I'm looking for a dress that fits a bit loosely in case I gain weight in the next month since I'm pregnant...almost all of them have said "oh I suspected but wasn't sure and didn't want to say anything just in case you weren't"

    WTH does that mean? That I just look fat? :cry: I've always had a bit of fluff on my belly, now that it's a bump I feel more self confident than ever...but comments like that bring me down. What if people that see me just think I'm a fat cow instead of thinking that I'm pregnant!

    People should really just shut up :growlmad:
     
  9. Oasis717

    Oasis717 Well-Known Member

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    Oh I had that too a few weeks back, a few times, when I did start telling people at 16 weeks I got a few comments saying well I did think but i didn't like to say. In other words you may of looked pregnant but you may of also just looked fat! Xxx
     
  10. makemeamammy

    makemeamammy Well-Known Member

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    From the minute my bump appeared at about 17 weeks I've had this! I could be wearing the same outfit on the same day and will be told by one person that my bump is huge and by the next person that I'm very neat. I think people just feel the need to comment!

    I mentioned it at my scan and asked if I was big for 20 weeks and she said I was right on track. I told her about the comments and she just said 'are they midwives? If not then take no notice!' X
     
  11. Dime Cuando

    Dime Cuando Well-Known Member

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    I'm beginning to think that pregnancy gives people a free ticket to be bloody rude....a good friend of mine saw me the other day and said how fat my face was. I mean, realllllllly? Yes my face is a little rounder, I'm aware of that, it doesn't fill me with joy but its part and parcel of pregnancy - I don't need people's rude comments.
     
  12. lovehearts

    lovehearts Well-Known Member

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    Bump comments are so annoying. we all have beautiful bumps, no matter how big or small.

    I have a friend who is 7 weeks behind me and she is always asking to see my bump and then comments how small it is etc. Im 5ft 8 and have a lot of torso for my baby to grow thank you very much! She is tiny and her baby can only grow outwards. in a few weeks she will be bigger than me. Being another pregnant woman you would think she wouldnt pass comment on the size of my bump.
     
  13. Oasis717

    Oasis717 Well-Known Member

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    I had the fat face comment from a member of family! Honestly! Like we'd need to hear that, you wouldn't dream of going up to an overweight person and saying god you're fat but it would seem pregnancy is a free for all comment wise, I'm glad I'm.not alone but also sorry some of you ladies have had the same. Here's my "apparently huge" belly xxxxx
     

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  14. Amsan

    Amsan Well-Known Member

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    I had this the other night... I had a few people tell me that I look good for being where I'm at, as my belly has only gone OUTWARD and the rest of me is still the same. And then I had someone else ask me when I was due, and he asked if I was giving birth to a giant. Ummm considering I'm 5'11, my child probably will be a giant. The funniest thing about it, from talking to FOB after that and I told him what his friend had said, FOB told me that his friend was an 11 POUND BABY!
     
  15. Amsan

    Amsan Well-Known Member

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    I'm a week behind you and I think we're about the same. Actually I think you look smaller than I do!
     
  16. Louppey

    Louppey Mummy to 2 girls <3

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    I get constant comments like this. Everyone thinks i'm due to pop in a few days. I don't honestly think i'm that big, think i'm spot on. I just laugh and tell them you should've seen me the morning I had Coralie, now that was big!

    People can be so rude. I don't understand why it's suddenly "ok" to comment on a womans size just because she's pregnant :confused:
     
  17. Oasis717

    Oasis717 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you amsan, I think we're spot on! I agree ladies pregnancy is not a free pass for rude comments and how about something nice like your hair looks really lovely or you look really pretty, we would welcome that! Xxxx
     
  18. lovehearts

    lovehearts Well-Known Member

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    I think your bump is lovely,not huge at all, id say very average for your weeks. xx
     
  19. kimmym

    kimmym Well-Known Member

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    I've learned to take bump comments very light heartedly as i recieve comments from both sides,and its just further proof people dont know what the hell theyre talking about.
    its either "wow youre still so small.are you eating enough?"
    or "youre getting huge.are you sure youre only _______ weeks?"
    i figure sense i'm hearing both its just another excuse for people to open their mouths without thinking.
     
  20. zanDark

    zanDark <3 IVF mom <3

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    You look really cute! :hugs::cloud9: You have a beautiful bump that's not "huge" at all! :hugs::hugs::hugs:
     

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