Why do you consider yourself a natural parent?

  • Thread starter Thread starter lepaskilf
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weird because i consider it VERY natural that Jasper has had a community of people around him from birth. I dont think its unnatural at all, especially considering how monkeys and gorillas live!

i think suggesting that unless your child is with you 24/7, you are not a parent is quite gobsmacking actually x
 
Im a NP/AP at least i was by time i got to DD2 :blush:

I had a VBA2C (not without pain meds though, sorry!)
I Breastfed her 1yr and she had homemade baby food
I use to wear her (i still would TBH)
I cloth diapered her
We didnt CIO/No spanking now that shes older
We co-slept and still do on occasion. We co-room though/co-bed as we only have 1 bedroom
We homeschool

Im slighty crunchy when it comes to how "natural" i am. :haha:
 
I consider myself a natural parent because I feed my child myself & look after him by myself. no breaks or people coming over to help.

I breastfed Tom till he was 14 months old. He never took a bottle so it was me every 2-3 hours! It was hard, but I didn't consider myself a natural parent because of it. I praised any help I could get in between those feeds x

I've always been of the opinion if someone has help looking after a child as they can't cope alone then their not a parent but part care giver.
my sil has handed her son off to her mam/gran his entire life.
I don't consider her a natural mother.

The most "natural" mothers around, the women who give birth alone in a mud hut, breastfeed or their baby will die, do elimination communication from day 1, will hand off their baby to their sister on month 2 and go work in a field pulling wheat grass for 10 hours straight. That's the way women have done it for millions of years. "Milk sisters" exist for that very reason. Women were never meant to do it alone, we were meant to do it TOGETHER.

Martha Sears, co-writer of attachment parenting, co-slept and breastfed all 8 of her babies at night while working as a breastfeeding counselor in the day. Is she unnatural?

You aren't a natural parent because of it, you just put down other mothers to try and make yourself feel better. You're a condescending mother. Yes, I'm also referring to that thread where you said other mothers were "pathetic" for being upset over having an emergency C-section.

And I am a 24/7 SAHM whose child almost died in labour as well (non-C section). Seriously. Stop trying to put others down and hurt them to make yourself feel better. It's cruel and sets a poor example for your child. Being a good mother is not about bragging about martyrdom, it's about teaching your child to show others kindness and respect. Perhaps you are still struggling with the trauma of your child's birth and are lashing out at others to cope with it and feel better, I don't know, but I suggest some kind of counseling for your cruel attitude.
 
I consider myself a natural parent because I feed my child myself & look after him by myself. no breaks or people coming over to help.

I breastfed Tom till he was 14 months old. He never took a bottle so it was me every 2-3 hours! It was hard, but I didn't consider myself a natural parent because of it. I praised any help I could get in between those feeds x

I've always been of the opinion if someone has help looking after a child as they can't cope alone then their not a parent but part care giver.
my sil has handed her son off to her mam/gran his entire life.
I don't consider her a natural mother.

Do you genuinely believe that?! Even when you sit down and think really hard about it logically and sensibly? Because that's crazy.

This is 2012. People have to be apart from their children sometimes unless they're really really lucky. I've been a single mum and worked part time and had to be away from the children for that. That doesn't make me part care giver, I've always still been mummy. And that's the case for hundreds and thousands of women.

What about women who have suffered post natal depression and need some extra help from family? What about people who just want their children to have a close relationship with grandparents/whoever and have no problem letting their children stay over one/a couple of nights a week? That doesn't make anyone less of a parent or less of a natural parent at all. I am no more natural now that I have children with me 24/7 than I was when I worked in a job where I couldn't take them with me.

Its just going to make people feel like crap who aren't as lucky as you are to get to spend every single moment with their child for whatever reason.
 
I consider myself a natural parent because I feed my child myself & look after him by myself. no breaks or people coming over to help.

I breastfed Tom till he was 14 months old. He never took a bottle so it was me every 2-3 hours! It was hard, but I didn't consider myself a natural parent because of it. I praised any help I could get in between those feeds x

I've always been of the opinion if someone has help looking after a child as they can't cope alone then their not a parent but part care giver.
my sil has handed her son off to her mam/gran his entire life.
I don't consider her a natural mother.

What an unusual opinion to have!! Am I just my childs care giver because he goes to nursery once a week? What if his father looks after him while I go out for the day? Are we both just care givers and not really parents because we share the care?
 
I'm of the opinion that in a FAMILY is the natural way for humans and many animals to exist, it's basic natural survival if nothing else. It's very unnatural to me to suggest that a child should only ever be cared for by the mother. We live in a society for a reason - because we're generally better people and better providers (physically, emotionally, mentally, every -ally really!) for being around others. People go crazy when isolated. Of course some people don't have family around or find it hard to make friends. Many people prefer to look after their children themselves and I'm one of them because I don't have to work and my family live 4 hours away. My 2 year old has been away from OH and I only a few times in her whole life, mostly when she wanted to go to the park with grandma and when I gave birth to her sister. That doesn't make me any more natural than a full-time working mum IMO. IIRC it's been proven that dads experience hormonal changes when they see their babies, suggesting that they are designed to want to stay and care for the baby. So if a mum shares baby care with the father, that is the most natural thing in the world. To suggest that it makes her not a parent but a part time carergiver is ludicrous and suggests to me underlying bitterness/issues rather than an educated opinion.
 
I consider myself a natural parent because I feed my child myself & look after him by myself. no breaks or people coming over to help.

I breastfed Tom till he was 14 months old. He never took a bottle so it was me every 2-3 hours! It was hard, but I didn't consider myself a natural parent because of it. I praised any help I could get in between those feeds x

I've always been of the opinion if someone has help looking after a child as they can't cope alone then their not a parent but part care giver.
my sil has handed her son off to her mam/gran his entire life.
I don't consider her a natural mother.
Superiority complex much?
 
And there we were thinking this was a non-bitchy part of the forum! Always one isnt there...
 
this all reminds me of the African proverb 'it takes a village to raise a child', nickyXjayno I hope you'll come to understand that help does not make someone weaker but it makes them stronger, it takes courage to ask for and accept help, nobody should be put down for it nor is it fair to suggest that your sil is palming off her child because she gets help, everyone copes differently, it certainly doesn't give you bragging rights.
 
I suppose some people DO palm off their kids onto other people, I'm thinking the kind who are out socialising every night after work and send the kids to the grandparents' every weekend. Perhaps that's the kind of person the poster's SIL is. In that case, they're not really 'parenting' their children, I'd probably agree that's not very natural. However the vast majority of people who have other people help them care for the children are perfectly normal, natural parents who accept that other people helping doesn't automatically mean you're not a parent.
 
I just consider me to be a parent just so happens it falls in to natural some of it.
cloth nappy (changed when Alex was a few months old wish I had of always done that)
breastfeed both my children still never had formula
bed share
no baby training, cio cc etc
gentle parenting , respectful and understanding of childs needs etc
I grow my own veg most the year

I do vax however and dont home school but if my child didnt like school I would consider home schooling I think. I will help my child learn outside of school.
 
I won't be home schooling either. I think the schools can do a better job than me any day lol!
 
I consider myself a natural parent because I feed my child myself & look after him by myself. no breaks or people coming over to help.

Thankyou so much for this. Normally I can ignore comments and even though people are very anti FF and I FF from 9 weeks, and that can be deemed 'unnatural' etc it doesn't get to me I made the RIGHT choice for me. However this comment has seriously pissed me off!!! I have gone back to work this week, seriously reluctantly, cried everyday, both before, during and after leaving LO. Cried myself to sleep every night and generally felt like the worst mummy in the world. Despite the fact she is in the nursery where I work and I only work 5 hours a day. I DID NOT want to go back but there really is no other choice at this very precise minute. We are looking at options. So your snotty comment has really made me Cross and feel even worse than I did. Next time think hard before you jusge someone on being an 'unnatural' mummy because they leave their child. Not everyone can have the luxury of staying at home with them!!!!

Sorry for the rant everyone else, like I said normally nothing bothers me, I'm a natural mummy because I look after my girls in a way that is as natural as we can do and I am happy and secure in that.
 
I consider myself a natural parent because I feed my child myself & look after him by myself. no breaks or people coming over to help.

I breastfed Tom till he was 14 months old. He never took a bottle so it was me every 2-3 hours! It was hard, but I didn't consider myself a natural parent because of it. I praised any help I could get in between those feeds x

I've always been of the opinion if someone has help looking after a child as they can't cope alone then their not a parent but part care giver.
my sil has handed her son off to her mam/gran his entire life.
I don't consider her a natural mother.


Thankyou so much for this. Normally I can ignore comments and even though people are very anti FF and I FF from 9 weeks, and that can be deemed 'unnatural' etc it doesn't get to me I made the RIGHT choice for me. However this comment has seriously pissed me off!!! I have gone back to work this week, seriously reluctantly, cried everyday, both before, during and after leaving LO. Cried myself to sleep every night and generally felt like the worst mummy in the world. Despite the fact she is in the nursery where I work and I only work 5 hours a day. I DID NOT want to go back but there really is no other choice at this very precise minute. We are looking at options. So your snotty comment has really made me Cross and feel even worse than I did. Next time think hard before you jusge someone on being an 'unnatural' mummy because they leave their child. Not everyone can have the luxury of staying at home with them!!!!

Sorry for the rant everyone else, like I said normally nothing bothers me, I'm a natural mummy because I look after my girls in a way that is as natural as we can do and I am happy and secure in that.
 
It's okay Lindsay, it pissed us all off, not least because there is NOTHING natural about 'keeping' a child to yourself. They are designed to be loved by many, that's why they are so damn cute and smell so good ;)
 
It's okay Lindsay, it pissed us all off, not least because there is NOTHING natural about 'keeping' a child to yourself. They are designed to be loved by many, that's why they are so damn cute and smell so good ;)

Not sure mine is smelling so cute, think its time to change some fluff.
 
In between that post n this one, I cleaned a slightly squashed poo off the floor...

He still looks cute though (the toddler, not the poo)
 
I had a similar nappy earlier. Now that is more natural than I needed, especially with a poorly 3yo who announced that she doesn't want to see it or smell it thank you mummy.
 

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