Why does anyone care about 'stealing'/copying names?

Discussion in 'Baby Names' started by Larkspur, Oct 9, 2013.

  1. Mummys2be

    Mummys2be Well-Known Member

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    for me its all about the person that already carries that name, when someone mentions a name and i know someone with that name i automatically think of them! So i wonder, will i think of them every time someone calls my child's name? Especially if that person was particularly horrible? I mean if the name of your school bully was for instance "john" you wouldnt want to call your kid "john" would you?

    I dont know everyone is different i guess!!! x
     
  2. housewifey

    housewifey Well-Known Member

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    We obviously all put a lot of thought into naming our children and we all have different tastes. I personally, prefer names that are un-common yet not unusual, reasoning behind my daughters name.

    I admit it, I don't like names being stolen, I would hate it if my daughter had classmates with the same name as her.

    After I had my daughter a girl added me on facebook, she was a few months pregnant, 2 months later, she found out she was having a girl and had named her the name I gave my daughter. It's a blatant steal, and by that I mean she heard it from me and used it! It's just annoying, put some more thought into your child's name! Maybe it has to do the fact with this girl hated me at school and I hated her, she's a total chav and it just annoys me that she is using my daughters beautiful name.
     
  3. emyandpotato

    emyandpotato Well-Known Member

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    I think with a common name it's no big deal. The amount of times I read about people using Eve/Evie or Amelia, or the worst, Rose as a middle name, and claiming someone is stealing their idea, and I just want to scream that every second female child has that name! But if it's something quite quirky it feels somewhat silly to name your child that after your best friend/sister has just used the same name, don't you think? So if you're in love with a name it can be a little gutting, especially if you've confided that name to said person. For example, I like the name Lyra, but it's a little unusual, and I haven't heard it used outside of the book series. So if someone I was close with went and used it, I'd feel a bit silly then going and using it, because it's such an unheard name that people would probably assume I was copying... I dunno. I get what you're saying OP, but it's kind of different in reality sometimes!
     
  4. Larkspur

    Larkspur Well-Known Member

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    Maybe she just loved the name the second she heard it? :shrug:

    I guess I just don't get it. If you're only "friends" on Facebook (it doesn't sound like you get on in real life) then wouldn't a response like, "Oh that's sweet, she must have heard that name from me and loved it" be more appropriate?

    I mean, as soon as my OH suggested our son's name, I was like, "YES, love it!" So I didn't really put any thought into it. Am I not allowed to use it because I didn't spend long enough thinking about it?
     
  5. daneuse27

    daneuse27 Well-Known Member

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    I really like larkspur's positive take on this situation, but I admit id be soo irritated if this happened to me. I have a lot of Facebook friends and this is making me wonder if i should hesitate to broadcast my daughters name (which is also uncommon but not unusual) on there. I'm like you, I don't like it when I hear of someone else with my daughters name, which thankfully isn't too often. Even now, I still check baby name stats to make sure it isn't growing too much in popularity :haha:

    I guess you could try to use larkspur's positive take on this but its not easy for some of us who place importance on uniqueness of names. I think its pretty clear that girl admired you and held you in positive regard, otherwise she never would've used the name she heard from you. Did you ever say anything to her about it?
     
  6. shanny

    shanny mother of 4 and an angel

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    for me if the child is born and someone uses the name thats fine

    i think its when you confide or share a name and then that someone uses it

    yes you do not own that name but you have started to picture your child with that name ...........
     
  7. Larkspur

    Larkspur Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Daneuse.

    I'm not trying to be argumentative, and I like a unique name as much as the next person (my son's name is pretty uncommon, and actually, I got really excited when I heard that someone who knows someone I know had named her kid that - and also named her other kid another name we're considering for our next!) but I guess I don't really understand the 'rules' that people make around what they feel is okay for other people to do in terms of names, because those 'rules' always just seem to make the person making them up unhappy, and make absolutely no difference to the person who they're trying to apply the rules to.

    I guess I just think every child is an individual regardless of whether they are called something really common or something really unusual. I've got several friends who have children with the same or really similar names (eg Lola, Lula, Lily - two of those) but it doesn't stop me from seeing them as completely unique children, or make me think the parents should have tried harder to come up with a more original name in order to make their child more special.
     
  8. JJKCB

    JJKCB Guest

    yep... I dont know anyone my sons age with his name but I know someone 20 years older and 2 years younger and couldn't care less

    for my next child the name I have picked is a very common girls name (I know at least 5) but we will be using it the traditional way (for a boy) which is nearly unheard of here... does it bother me that there will be lots of girls with the same name? no, because ive had that name picked since I was 3

    I think I would only be upset if it was my choice of girls name because its MASSIVELY uncommon (dont think it has EVER been in the top 1000 names) but even then Ive seen it appear on here and just thought 'oh, well that's funny', Im almost certain the name is so unique no one could accidentally copy the first and middle name anyway, so someone sharing one name wouldn't bother me
     
  9. housewifey

    housewifey Well-Known Member

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    I mean I guess it's hard to understand without knowing the person but when it's someone you don't like didn't get on with I just find it annoying. Her 2nd child has a typical chav name (imo) not saying what it is! haha! If her 2nd child had an equally unique, uncommon name then maybe I would think maybe she does just (like me) go for names that are uncommon and unusual, but she didn't.

    And no i'm not saying you are not allowed to use it because you just said YES straight away, ur OH suggested it and I'm assuming that wasn't the very first name he'd suggested.

    Yeah I agree it's harder for us who find it important to have a unique name. No, I'd never say anything to her, I'm not that kind of person. Although I would feel awkward if she approached me in the shops or anything though!
     
  10. Andypanda6570

    Andypanda6570 3 Boys and an Angel Ava

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    Normally I would probably not giving a flying shit :wacko: But my situation is a bit different. I gave birth to my daughter at 22 weeks on 3-3-2011, we had a burial and my SIL & BIL and friends and close family.

    I was 40 at the time with 3 boys 20, 17 and 12 and this baby was soooooooooo unexpected and such a blessing at my age I felt, finally got my girl :cloud9:
    My SIL also had 3 boys and said she wanted no more, but miraculously she got pregnant 8 weeks later, "It was an accident" her boys were also older 17, 14 and 10.. Well she had her girl and the whole nine months would not say what she was having fair enough, but I knew it was a girl by the way she was carrying, I am Godmother to her oldest so i have seen how she has carried her 3 pregnancies before that. The WHOLE 9 months never mentions a name . at 6 months I asked her again no names yet? She was like oh I don't know my husband likes Mia.. So she gives birth and names her my baby MY baby's name that passed away :nope: never asked , never mentioned, never asked how would we feel about it> So we have not talked in a year I refuse to ever see her again, cause if I do I would probably beat the ever loving shit out of her.
    She literally broke my heart showed us NO respect and thinks what she did was perfectly fine, so yea in my case it was a big deal-and it was stealing in my eyes. The whole family is broken apart cause of what she did and she thinks I would forgive this and be around a newborn with my daughter's name? The only word I have for her is cruel, Thank You :cry:
     
  11. JJKCB

    JJKCB Guest

    I think that's a very different and unique situation though

    is there any explanation as to why?

    did she maybe think she was honoring your daughter? (like you would with a grandparent who has passed)

    seems insensitive but it may of just been a very bad train of thought on her part
     
  12. Andypanda6570

    Andypanda6570 3 Boys and an Angel Ava

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    She never said a word, she hid the name for 9 months, that can't be in honor. If she did it in honor she would have came to us to tell us that. Instead she kept it quiet and figured it wouldn't blow up to what it did, it ripped us apart. I know exactly what happened, instead of coming to us and asking how we would feel she just did it, cause she knows I would have flipped out and then what would people say, u asked ur SIL and she told u it would hurt her and u did it anyway. she is 39 I know her since she is 15, she is a selfish bitch, I still a year later am in shock over this..We had a huge fight on the phone and she told me to get over my baby's death and then she said that was going to be her name my whole pregnancy, I said really then why when asked u never said a word to even ur own brother? They hid it, cause they are cowards..
     
  13. Scottishgem

    Scottishgem Well-Known Member

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    I think names are very personal to people , my name is really common here(gemma so i went to school with and now loads of gemmas) but it doesn't bother me however its more a respect thing, if my sister gave birth but couldn't decide on a name and then i told her my faves and she fell in love with a particular name i would let her use it ( ie the whole rachel/monica/emma thing from friends)but if i told her my faves and she didn't mention at the time she loved it or even contemplated asking me when baby was born i think i would be hurt, it wouldn't bother me if folk off facebook or friends of friends picked the same name as they are not in my day to day life but close friends and family would bother me! plus i think having two kids with the same name in the same immediate family is daft hence why i don't agree with name like george junior etc
     
  14. BebVern

    BebVern 3 MC, on a break (TTC #1)

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    This is something I've been thinking about recently.

    I can kind of see where people are coming from with the names thing. I personally love the names Theo for a boy and Lois for a girl, both pretty 'normal' but uncommon names, and would be irritated if my best friends picked them knowing I was planning on using them...it kind of feels like 'I love that name - we'll have to use it first, so it doesn't look like we're copying.' Don't ask me why, that's just how I see it I guess.

    On the other side of the coin, a girl I used to work with had a baby last year and called him Stanley. I LOVED that name, and now feel like I can't use it in case she thinks I've 'stolen' it?! I'm not even close to her in any way, it's utterly bizarre, but I have consciously thought about alternatives in order to divert from using Stanley.

    I wouldn't bat an eyelid if someone bought the same dress, car or even dyed their hair the same colour as mine though - in fact I'd be flattered!! Odd indeed.

    The whole thing is really ridiculous; I guess it's people wanting to feel unique.
     
  15. Sarah lo

    Sarah lo mum of 2 little monkeys!

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    Just a thought but why don't you ask your friend if she minds if you call your baby Stanley? If she's not that close a friend i bet she wouldn't mind, and then to you it wouldn't feel as though you'd stolen it, it'd be more like your friend gave it to you :)

    If someone asked if they could use my child's name I wouldn't mind at all, in fact I'd be honoured that they liked my name enough to want to copy it. Having said that I think I'd be narked if someone used my name before my baby was born as it would then look to everyone like I was the one who'd "stolen" it
     
  16. housewifey

    housewifey Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry for your loss. What a horrible thing for your SIL to do! I actually can't believe somebody would do this, it's obviously going to break your heart, and has obviously broken your family apart. She is so selfish and wasn't thinking of anybody but herself. Even if she was soo in love with that name, she should have respected the fact that you had chosen it and picked another name. Out of the other 3 billion choices in the world. How horrible. Biggest hugs to you.
     
  17. Andypanda6570

    Andypanda6570 3 Boys and an Angel Ava

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    Thank you very much. She has broken my heart, when it was already broken. There is no forgiveness in me, I will never look at her again, ever.. XO :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  18. housewifey

    housewifey Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't either. :hugs::hugs:
     
  19. AP

    AP Well-Known Member
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    I wouldn't change it for anyone else.
    However I know a cousin of mine did use the name Alex for her daughter, and we discovered this had something to do with my 7 year old sister speaking to her. It was a bit of a pisser at first, couldn't understand why she couldnt get a name that meant more to herself, but hey ho.
     
  20. mysteriouseye

    mysteriouseye Pregnant with No.3

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    I know this is an old thread but I wanted to my opinion on here :)

    My 'friend' knows that I have liked Luna for a long time after talking about our 2nd child, I like Spanish inspired names as I am half Spanish and my children will be a quarter Spanish, she has just found out she is having a girl and what name is she picking... Luna... LOL... her loss I know why shes done it because she is vicious.. there are a few names that that I like that she picked but I would stay away from them because I am a loyal friend.
     

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