Why does anyone care about 'stealing'/copying names?

[Larkspur]

Maybe I'm just really obtuse but... what is the problem with two kids who know each other having the same name?

Time and time again I see people ranting about people 'stealing' the name they want or worrying about copying names.

I just don't understand why anyone cares about this. Names do not come with ownership papers. Whatever you're planning on naming your child, you almost certainly didn't invent it yourself. So you 'copied' it from someone, somewhere at some point. What does it matter if it's a movie star or a book character or your friend's sister or your cousin's child?

One of best friends used a name I loved for her son, and I admit I was a bit surprised at the time because I'd told her it was my favourite name, but after giving it about five seconds' thought, I realised it didn't actually matter at all.

My OH wasn't too keen on that name anyway, so we ended up calling our son something different, but I don't really see what the issue would be if he'd loved it and we'd gone ahead and used it.

Can someone explain to me what the actual problem is?

 

[Leids]

It doesn't bother me at all. I know my son has one of the most common names probably in the world but I had a good friend who suggested it because she was planning on naming her little boy William. I didn't think twice about it, and she was really excited that we decided to go with the name.

I honestly wouldn't even be upset if one of my step-sisters named their kids the same thing as mine. Then again, my husband is all for traditional and common names so there will always be a good amount of kiddos running around with the same name.

Even with unique names, I don't think it's anything to get upset about. If anything I think it should validate their feelings on the name because other people do like it enough to use it for their own children.

 

[AmbersMommy11]

I honestly wonder that myself.
It doesn't really bother me if another person uses the same name I like.

Everyone has their own taste, I'm sure millions of other people like the same names I do.

 

[steph.]

The only time it would bother me is if it was my sister because we see each other all the time and its confusing enough that we are both married to Daves! Anyone else, friends, family wouldnt bother me much. In fact my cousin said if she ever has a girl her name will be Sophia (i took it as a compliment), and when I said that I wanted to name this one Sienna my friend said " Oh! I love that name. If i ever have a girl she will be a Sienna".

 

[daneuse27]

You make a good point. A name is just a name but I guess some people feel that a name being used often takes away from it. (Not saying it does) But I can understand these things upset people sometimes.

I chose a not too common name for my daughter, and part of what drew me to it was the fact that it wasn't very popular. So if one if someone in my immediate family or one of my close friends were to use the same name, I have to admit I wouldn't be too happy. lol

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

I don't really care about "name stealing" but I do tend to go off a name if I see someone using It that I don't like the look of lmao I think "ew if they like it I don't want it"

 

[xjesx]

I think its important to be open minded here and remember that the people who have names "stolen" may be upset based on their relationship with the "stealer" It could feel like betrayal.

You confide a name to someone and then they use it. I know we cant help when we concieve and whether or not its a boy or girl, but people could respect others and ask...

thats my explanation.

With that said I do share your opinion in that I don't care if someone uses my choice name or if i "steal" theirs. No one knows when people have a name list and are TTC.

 

[Larkspur]

I think its important to be open minded here and remember that the people who have names "stolen" may be upset based on their relationship with the "stealer" It could feel like betrayal.

You confide a name to someone and then they use it. I know we cant help when we concieve and whether or not its a boy or girl, but people could respect others and ask...

thats my explanation.

With that said I do share your opinion in that I don't care if someone uses my choice name or if i "steal" theirs. No one knows when people have a name list and are TTC.

No, I get that the relationship makes a difference to how mad people get, but what I don't get is what another kid (even a close one) having the same name as yours takes away from that name, aside from maybe a tiny bit of practical differentiation difficulty (eg them not knowing which "Jimmy" you are talking to).

Like, is it that people are in love with the idea that the name they've given their kid is special and unique, and any other nearby kid having that same name makes their kid less special and unique by a kind of nominal dilution, haha?

 

[xjesx]

I think its important to be open minded here and remember that the people who have names "stolen" may be upset based on their relationship with the "stealer" It could feel like betrayal.

You confide a name to someone and then they use it. I know we cant help when we concieve and whether or not its a boy or girl, but people could respect others and ask...

thats my explanation.

With that said I do share your opinion in that I don't care if someone uses my choice name or if i "steal" theirs. No one knows when people have a name list and are TTC.

No, I get that the relationship makes a difference to how mad people get, but what I don't get is what another kid (even a close one) having the same name as yours takes away from that name, aside from maybe a tiny bit of practical differentiation difficulty (eg them not knowing which "Jimmy" you are talking to).

Like, is it that people are in love with the idea that the name they've given their kid is special and unique, and any other nearby kid having that same name makes their kid less special and unique by a kind of nominal dilution, haha?

I dont think it has anything to do with the name...I honestly believe its the weight attached to a name...they have their heart set than BAM!!!! friend "steals" it.

 

[Larkspur]

But the friend didn't steal it! Why couldn't they still use the name? Because some people might think they copied it? Almost everyone "copies" a name from somewhere.

 

[bassdesire]

It's just weird for two close friends to pick the same name. I dont know am I the only one who finds it an odd choice?

 

[Larkspur]

But WHY is it weird?! That's what I'm trying to understand, haha.

 

[steph.]

I think its because they feel like it will take away from the 'specialness'of the name if there is another one. They want their kid to be the "Jimmy", not one of the Jimmies and if a friend or family uses the name it ruins its wow factor. For example, i named my dd Sophia and I love the name, however i do wish there were less of them around because you hear it so often that the name starts to sound kind of banal. Its not the kind of name people will say "wow, thats awesome" because they have heard it so often.

 

[daneuse27]

Take the name Sarah for example. If you really listen to it, its a lovely name (partially why it was so popular for so long) but there are so many Sarah's, that I dont think you really listen to the name when you hear it, if that makes sense. There are so many of them that you may already have positive or negative associations, depending on your experiences, with someone named Sarah. I'm not saying theres anything wrong with popular names; most are popular for a reason. But this might be why some people don't want their child to have the same name as many other kids, or as a kid they see often.

If someone had asked me what I planned to name my child, and they then went and used the name without asking how I felt, I would feel a bit betrayed.

 

[JJKCB]

but its not name 'stealing' if you pick a popular name

if you call your child Calliope, Pepper, Anjanette, Leonardo, Majesty, Augustus etc... it would be a shock if someone picks the same name because its an odd chance

picking something like Lily, Harry, Jack, Isabelle, Ellie, James etc... what do you expect?

same as people who try to pick common 'unique' names (Eden, Violet, Willow, Autumn, Scarlet, Quinn, Zoe/Chloe etc... often much worse with girls, all so very original I only know about 5 of each despite them being soooo unique obviously lol... they all suit there name beautifully btw but dont convince yourself its somehow unique)

my sons name is supposedly 'common' (23rd rank) but Ive met very very few, despite my friend 'stealing' (lol) the name... it doesn't bother me at all (my son has never even met their child)

pick a name you love, nothing else should matter other than that at the end of the day

 

[hans2009]

I'm in the same boat! My friends are all asking me what we plan on naming our little one and when I tell them Devin James they all say "oh thank God when didn't use Devin then, it was on our list" I don't see the problem either but my husband does! He won't name his kids a name someone we know is already using so he's been telling his friends for years that he likes the name Devin!

I grew up in a family where someone in every family had the first for middle name Robert (my grandpas name) and my husband thinks that is the weirdest thing!! I don't get it either!

 

[xjesx]

I think we are off track here. I interpreted the original post to present ideas as to why some people feel like its stealing regardless of who the said "thief" is.

I dont think we came on here to argue whether one theory is right or wrong.

So I think the answers we have are:

1. Feels like a form of betrayal.
2. Loses the potential to be special (keeping in mind we are from different parts of the world whats popular one place is not necessarily true for another)
3. People don't care and don't have a the view that a name can be stolen.

 

[phoenix333]

I don't like being copied. I wouldn't even like it if my best friend went out and bought a coat exactly the same as my coat, even though I may see 100 strangers passing down the street in the same thing I know names are rarely completely unique but I put a lot of thought into the names I choose and intentionally try and steer away from anything overly popular. I feel as though if I tell someone the names I have chosen, I have confided in them something really personal and precious to me and if they then go and use that name it would feel like they couldn't think of something so they just stole my name. And yup, to me it would definitely feel like a betrayal and the name wouldn't feel as special to me any more.

I have no problem with other people sharing the same name per se as it's bound to happen sooner or later. It's just the fact that someone you know well (who is aware of the sentimentality of your chosen name) simply doesn't care or has the lack of originality to think of a different name of their own and just copied that makes me uncomfortable.

 

[smallpeanut]

Or maybe they just also really liked the name? Maybe they didn't think 'ah, X had chosen that name for her son, I can't think of anything better so let's use it first'... Infact X probably hadn't even entered their minds.

I'd feel complimented if a friend copied my fashion sense. At least someone would think I dress well

 

[felix555]

I have to say I never understand this either and especially I it's a popular name!

Unless you name your child Unicorn Sunshine Smith and a week later your sister has a baby and names her Unicorn Sunshine Smith I don't see the issue.