Why My Kid Should Play Sports (Even If He Doesn’t Want To)

[Wobbles]

Do you agree with Mum/Mom to carry on encouraging sports even if the child doesn't want to?

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Wobbles

 

[seoj]

I understand encouraging our kids to do extracurricular activities- sports included. But it's about finding the RIGHT sport or program for your kid. If they don't enjoy it, then why would they want to do it? And it's never fun for us parents to have to push our kids...and usually counter-productive.

I do agree with her points- but I think you can find a way to do both and not force your kids to continue with an activity they don't enjoy. I'm not saying I would let my kid quit (if they initially asked to join) at the first sign of frustration. They did make a commitment- but, that just means they learned a lesson (me too) and we try something different next time. That is what we did with my SD when she was in ballet/tap/jazz-- she loved it for a long time, then just got burnt out. Fair enough. But we did ask her to finish her commitment and then allowed her to look into other options after a break. She went on to find other passions she stuck with for years (even though she wasn't winning any metals She enjoyed it!).

IDK- I guess finding the right balance is where my mind is at. lol

 

[Bex84]

kids will get forced to do enough at school they don't like so why you need to force them in to sports as extra curricular I am not sure. We all learn we are not great at everything and however good you are there will always be someone better than you. Sports are one of those things that you are either good at or not, just like art and music. I would encourage lo to try new things but would not force her to stay in something she hated. To be honest I have met some hugely competitive people when it comes to sport. When I was doing prep for sports day with a class I was teaching one of the little girls was upset as she kept coming last, my words to her was 'sweetheart as long as you do your best I am proud and it isn't about the winning' to have another adult say whats the point of doing sports if its not to win which is a load of crap. I will encourage my children to develop interests and I myself got more out of doing orchestra where you had to be on time and work as a team, choir where we listened to each other, music lessons where I learnt dedication for practicing an instrument every day, sports isn't the be all and end all and as long as your child gets exercise it shouldn't be forced. For me sports at school was ending up with my legs bruised from hockey, having no natural talent but been put in competitive situations where I failed consistently, was embarrassed and had low self esteem because of it. Children should be encouraged to have fun in sports and by forcing a child in to something they hate I am not sure how that's meant to be good for them, surely its about encouraging interests outside school and getting them to commit to it and work hard.

 

[messica]

Heck to the NO!!! I completely disagree with her "theories."

To what she claims are benefits:

1. (He needs to learn that he's not going to be good at everything) - does she serious think that forcing her child into a sport he stinks at is the only way to get that point across? Seems a bit more like continuously rubbing salt into an already open wound to me....

2. (He's part of a team and they're counting on him) - this is a nice, warm, fuzzy thing you tell a child who genuinely wants to contribute but is struggling to....but don't expect the rest of the team, who will undoubtedly pick up on the less then stellar attitude of a forced child - to agree with the mentality of a disgruntled parent. If the kid doesn't want to be there, they're not going to want him there either nor will they ever count on him in any way shape or form, especially if his attitude is what's affecting his performance.

3. (He's made a commitment and he has to keep it) - OR - he didn't make a commitment at all, his MOTHER did. Would be an entirely different ball of wax if he had solicited to play, joined the team on his own accord and then decided to back out. In his mind, he never committed to squat because he never wanted to be there in the first place. Rightfully so.

I want to sign her up for parenting classes and then tell the world SHE made that commitment so she darn well better keep it!

4. (He's learning the importance of being on time) - erm....because daily schedules don't impress this upon a child? School? Special outings, family celebrations and events? There is no way forcing a child to participate in a team sport is the only way to teach this skill by a long shot.

5. (Sports aren't taking him away from something else - aka - everyone else's kid is doing it so my kid has to too) - seriously about the stupidest excuse she could come up with here. Lesson learned for child? Succumb to uniformity and peer pressure at all cost for the rest of your life. Seriously -

6. (He's learning a skill that will help him stay fit) - because his diet and the modeling you're offering him at home aren't adequate? How did children ever learn to stay fit without organized summer rec sports??!

7. (He might discover something he's good at after all) - but even if he doesn't, as has been the case with the son and basketball, you're going to force him to continue to suck at it anyway over and over and over again for the rest of his childhood....

8. (He'll make friends on the field) - because we all know if a kid doesn't want to be doing something they're super pleasant and in top notch friend making mode!

9. (He'll learn how to deal with conflict) - yeah. With his mother. Years later in therapy.

10. (Sports will help keep him out of trouble) - last I checked pro sports athletes still get in plenty of trouble and they're far busier than any child participating in them is. This is best summed up as - I'm lazy as heck and this will get my kid off MY back for awhile.


My heart breaks for her child if that's really how she feels

 

[RachA]

I do agree to a point. But it depends on the reason the child signed up in the first place. If the child made the commitment to join the team then I think they should see the season through.

I think you also need take your own child into account and make decisions based on your own child. My nephew plays football for his school team. He's actually quite good at it but he doesn't like playing. My brother and sister-in-law insist that he carries this on-why? Because outside of school the only thing he does (apart from eat/sleep etc) is play on his computer. During school holidays he can quite literally be on the computer all day. They limit his use on the computer and sending him to football practice helps limit him. It also helps to keep him fit because if he didn't do the football training he'd put on a lot of weight. In this case it wouldn't matter what they encouraged him to do-if it wasn't anything on the computer then he wouldn't like it!!! Oh he's 13 by the way.

It definitely is all about balance though.

 

[Amarna]

I don't think sports are necessary at all. Not every kid is going to like playing sports and that's fine. Some people would rather read a book, make art projects, play music, etc. on their free time and such things should be encouraged. My daughter loves to dance and wants to join girl scouts. I'm not going to force her to sign up for a team sport if it's not something she's into. My daughter is the type that if she doesn't want to do something she'll be as stubborn as possible about getting it done and it's just not worth it to me to battle with her over something like sports. But then I was a bookworm kid and never was all that interested in sports myself.

I think as long as a kid is active, healthy and getting exercise there are plenty of other ways to get them socializing and into working as a team.

 

[modified]

Disagree completely. Kids can learn those lessons in thousands of different ways. If my kid doesn't want to play sports, she won't play sports.

 

[lindseymw]

The only thing we will 'force' our children to do is swimming lessons. Once they are at a point they can swim with confidence, it will be their choice if they wish to pursue it.

Everything else, it is up to them if they wish to partake in something else. We are looking at martial arts for Joshua as I like the sound of it, self discipline, focus etc but if he decides he doesn't like it then so be it. I won't force it.

As pp said, you can learn those lessons in different ways, not just through sports.

 

[JASMAK]

Disagree with her reasons, and I have a degree in physical education. Kids should exercise because it is a healthy way of life, but she should find something not only her child likes, but is good at. Sounds like she is focusing on the cheap team sports offered at school. Team sports are not for everyone. If anything, she is going to turn her child into a child that hates sports. Shes doing her child a disservice.

 

[morri]

I dont agree, why should my child do something it does not enjoy, sports should be fun, it is also no fun for other children if one child is not having fun.
I think it just needs something it enjoys, if you enjoy sth skill doesnt matter(i was good at no sport but i still enjoyed swimming and soccer although i only came 2nd or last in wider (bigger comps).

 

[Marie000]

I wouldn't force my daughter to play sports if she doesn't want to, especially team sports. There are plenty of other activities she can do. Would anyone advocate that all kids should play the piano?

I did some sports when I was a kid. Sometimes I enjoyed it, but eventually I didn't. You know when I stopped enjoying them? When I was forced to do it. I remember enjoying downhill skiing the first year I did it. Then the second year, my parents bought us a season pass, so they made sure we went skiing EVERY weekend to make sure the pass was worth it. I never skied after that year. It had become a chore.

Another thing... if you want your kids to enjoy sports, why not play with them? Especially when they are little. Watching them play is not enough to show an interest. If you want them to play soccer, get a ball and kick it around with them. Show them they can have fun without worrying about how good they are. Actions speak louder than words.

 

[hypnorm]

forcing him to sports he isn't good at will increase the chance of him getting bullied. Ewan did football at school, he is not good at it at all and some of the kids were pretty horrid to him as they were all in the after school and local footy teams.

 

[Pearls18]

I will definitely be encouraging sports, DS1 has rugby classes on Saturdays, swimming on Mondays and he just did a tennis taster but we won't be taking those on unfortunately as we would need to be members of the tennis club which is expensive and not worthwhile for us as we have access to gym and pool facilities through my husband's work. He LOVES them, if he started complaining about going I would ask him to see the term out that I had paid for, take a break and ask him again and go along with whatever he wanted. I was never sporty growing up and think starting young is the best way to have a bit of confidence, so we will see, but no definitely not force....!

 

[wishuwerehere]

Most kids will want to do something surely...dd does ballet because she asked to. I figure finding a physical activity rhey want to do, certainly at preschool age, is not that hard!
I do consider swimming non negotiable though, like learning how to cross a road safely. Once she can swim she can choose if she keeps it up.

 

[Mapleroo]

A couple of years ago I gave my then 7 year old boy the option of playing minor hockey (we live in a small town in rural Alberta, canada so it's hockey or hockey haha!). He was thrilled and signed up. The deal was though, that once he made the commitment for that year, he had to see it through. After then, if he decided it wasn't for him, he didn't need to ever do it again. He was fine with that deal and as it turns out, totally loved playing and would do it all year round if he could. However, having said that, there was a kid on his team during his first year that had already been playing for a few years and HATED it. His Mum forced him to play and the kid couldn't skate to save himself and meandered around in his own little world during games contributing nothing at all. Thankfully his mum finally listened to him and didn't force him to play another year. This last season they had a kid on the team that also hated playing and the only way to get him to come to practices and games was to bribe him with a new toy each time. As much as I want my kid to honour his commitment to something he starts, I have seen what happens when kids are forced to do something they don't want. I also have a hard time with understanding what the parents get out of that scenario. Hockey for example is a huge commitment on the parents behalf also. First of all there is a tonne of equipment that they need that isn't cheap. At novice level which are 6-8 year olds you have one practice a week and usually 2 games. The games can be a travel distance from half an hour to 2 hours one way. It's obviously a winter sport so that means driving in a blizzard or black ice if that happens to be the weather for that day-games are NEVER cancelled due to weather. Every weekend from September to May is hockey. Plus there are 3 tournaments and fundraising and a schedule for working during home games (time keeper, raffle tickets etc). If your kid doesn't like it, why put yourself through all of that?!?!

 

[JASMAK]

I think a sport of some kind is important though. .. and like a pp said. .. there is probably something a child enjoys. .. but physical activity is important. .. it doesn't have to be competitive though. It doesn't have to be team either.

 

[River54]

When dd was small, we put her in swimming - we live on an island - you need to know how to swim. Eventually that branched out into other things to try. Never forcing, but encouraging to always do something physical given a range of choices.

Eventually, as she grew up, she made choices on what she wanted to try and what not to. Even though I loved ballet, and she was really really good at it - she chose to stop it after age 10, and try soccer. It was really hard on me, but, her choice - and she would still be active. By middle school we encouraged her to try all the sport rotation that the school offered. - She was very hesitant, but agreed to try it - and wouldn't you know - but she found a sport she loved in the process, and stuck to that one she found. She'll now be playing the same sport on a varsity team - again her choice. She didn't like some of them - fine, don't do them next time...
She also found sports that she was not good at, but still wanted to play because she loved the sport, just not the team...if you ever run into this situation - I encourage you to find a diff team for them - one where they are appreciated at their level of play. She did find another team - and then went back to non stop chattering about the practice...she was happy.

Looking back - she basically found a few physical activities that she is willing do for the rest of her life - recreational types, and surprisingly more competitive types.

 

[Starry Night]

I think organized sports are overrated and take too much time away from the family. And living in a rural area means a town only has one team so that's lots and lots of driving to different towns for games. We probably won't have the money to spend on anything fancy anyways. I do think extra-curricular activities are important but I think the child should have some say on picking what they want to do...within reason.

My DH and I are not into sports at all so it will be interesting to see what interests our children will develop. I encourage my DS to go outside and we'll kick the ball around with him. We also take him to the park and he just runs wild (the trick is getting him to stop!) Our kids can get physical activity other ways. And if I remember gym class correctly, they'll be forced to play sports they hate anyways.

Some kids do need to be pushed into trying new things but others won't do well forced into an activity they hate. There are more important things than sports to force on the child if you want them to learn they sometimes have to do things they hate (like chores or homework!).