Why won't they tell me the sex of my baby?

[Due03.15.10]

Hey guys!

Had my 20 week scan this morning and all good for my first little one!!!!! Couldn't be happier!

Just a quick question though, in my hospital, they have a policy not to tell parents the sex of the baby! Me and my partner had decided in advance that we really wanted to know and are now a bit gutted! Obviously the best news is that my bumps healthy but we would have loved to have known!

Does this depend on hospitals or PCT's?? Really don't want to go for a private one to find this out!

Thanks in advance everyone!!!

 

[Junebug_CJ]

Because mistakes can and have been made. Just last year my friends gave birth to a boy after being told it was a girl. It was a suprise for everyone!

 

[marie-louise]

My hospital won't tell you either but one an hour away will, I think it's up to the hospital

 

[aliss]

Where do you live? It depends on that often.

Officially [out here], the hospital doesn't want the liability if it is incorrect so they don't get sued if you buy $5000 worth of blue merchandise when it should have been pink. Unofficially, some cultures will abort a healthy female fetus just for the sake of it being female (yes, even over 20 weeks). Gendercide... I don't know about other areas, but it does happen out in Vancouver.

 

[moomin_troll]

i was told by someone who worked in the nhs that some hospitals wont tell u what sex the baby is as in some cultures they only want boys and cases have been in this country that ppl have found out they are having a girl and have gone ahead to have a abortion based on the sex of the baby.

what truth was in this who knows but that is what i was told

 

[BabyJayne]

Depends on the hospital policy hun. Ours does tell you, but I know that a few years back the policy was not to. Are you going to wait and have a surprise or pay to find out? We are keeping it a surprise...go team yellow!!

 

[bubbles]

when my ex SIL was pregnant they wouldn't tell her the sex, apparantly because of as already said some cultures will abort a healthy baby based on the sex but I don't know how true that is. They were based in Colchester at the time, I found out what sex my DS was so it does depend on the area/hospital

 

[moomin_troll]

my hospital did tell me the sex but if they didnt i wouldnt pay to find out i would then keep it a total suprise.

but we could see zanes wee man at his 12 week scan so we kinda guessed anyway lol

 

[AP]

My hospital tells you now, it changed last xmas. However when i went they said they couldnt tell me - they couldnt see, but i didnt believe them for a second. I had worked myself up to find out only to leave none the wiser so i did feel gutted!

However getting the 4D scan a few weeks later was seriously the best thing ever. I just looked at my photos and scans of that yesterday and i still maintain, best day ever!

 

[JennTheMomma]

A lot of Hospitals won't for a few reasons
1. Some people abort based on the sex
2. Ultrasounds are never 100%
3. The Center for Disease Control says that ultrasounds should not be performed for finding out the gender

 

[KamKol]

I think it's more to do with the fact that some people have started to sue hospitals for telling them to wrong sex.

I live in a very diverse area and know numerous people of many cultures and religions, and have NEVER EVER heard of anyone who has decided to abort on the basis of what sex they are having...I think that's just a rumour. My hospital, situated in a multicultural area, with patients of many cultures, told me the sex.

Anyway, the NHS provide an anomaly scan at 20 weeks to look for abnormalities, it is not a patient's right to find out the sex at this scan. Also, all patients should be aware that no ultrasound is 100% correct, so to take away the hassle of having law suits filed against them, it's easier to stop telling genders altogether.

 

[Linzi]

i was told by someone who worked in the nhs that some hospitals wont tell u what sex the baby is as in some cultures they only want boys and cases have been in this country that ppl have found out they are having a girl and have gone ahead to have a abortion based on the sex of the baby.

what truth was in this who knows but that is what i was told

My friend was told this about a hospital in West Yorkshire where she had her first 7 years ago, although I think they will tell you know, that was the reason they gave. x

 

[plumplump]

In Scotland it seems to be on a trust by trust basis. In Fife they do say however in Aberdeen they no longer do as they were successfully sued after getting the gender wrong. I also watched a documentary a wee while ago and in some areas down south the won't tell as some couples were choosing to abort, due to there culture etc.

I can see why you are miffed though, i would absolutely have to get a private gender scan if they didn't or weren't able to tell me what i was having, i'm incredibly nosey!!

 

[Rozie_1985]

They do at my hospital but the sonographer refused point blank to give us a toliet shot even tho he was so very obviously a boy at our last scan. She said she had recieved a letter of complaint off a couple a few weeks earlier who were trying to sue her and claim £100 back from the hospital for a private gender scan they "had" to have because the NHS sonographer was unable to tell them the sex of their baby because it was laying in the wrong position!! Talk about harsh, some people are nuts!!

 

[tiny feet]

As others have said, it is based on the hospitals policy.

It is true that some people will abort healthy babies upon hearing the gender, its not just a rumour. So I do know of hospitals which don't tell you because of this reason.
My local hospital will tell you but they have had instances of couples asking who they speak to about an abortion because it wasn't what they wanted, the only ones i know about were for cultural reasons but that isn't to say white british couples haven't done this either.

It might be a bummer not knowing but look forward to the surprise.

 

[MrsHart2b]

Where do you live? It depends on that often.

Officially [out here], the hospital doesn't want the liability if it is incorrect so they don't get sued if you buy $5000 worth of blue merchandise when it should have been pink. Unofficially, some cultures will abort a healthy female fetus just for the sake of it being female (yes, even over 20 weeks). Gendercide... I don't know about other areas, but it does happen out in Vancouver.

oh my god, that's horrible, how could anyone do that!? no offence to anyone but some cultures and religions are just bloody stupid at times!x

 

[AP]

In Scotland it seems to be on a trust by trust basis. In Fife they do say however in Aberdeen they no longer do as they were successfully sued after getting the gender wrong. I also watched a documentary a wee while ago and in some areas down south the won't tell as some couples were choosing to abort, due to there culture etc.

I can see why you are miffed though, i would absolutely have to get a private gender scan if they didn't or weren't able to tell me what i was having, i'm incredibly nosey!!

Thought so up north the still dont do it yet Edinburgh do?

 

[JessiHD]

I'm not sure about hospitals not telling due to cultures aborting girl babies as they were happy to tell me at Birmingham Women's Hospital where there are plenty of women of different ethnicities.

 

[Beadette]

There are many reasons but my midwife emphasised to me that the 20 week anomoly scan's purpose is to check for abnormalities and not to tell you what the gender is. She said you'd be surprised how many parents don't even realise that this is the purpose of the 20 week scan rather than finding out gender. They cannot always be 100% as people have also said.

ps sorry for nipping over from first tri! I'm thread stalking! x x x x x