Why?

[Mervs Mum]

My friend hadnt actually told me out right that she was pregnant but I'd pretty much guessed and last night she said she was off work this morning and would be emailing me this afternoon with an update.

Well she just emailed me and as suspected she was going for her 12 week scan but they have said the baby died at about 9 weeks......

Why? I dont understand. How can the baby just die? And she felt fine and there were no signs??? Sorry if I sound stupid but I cant get my head around it at all.

I feel terrible because I feel bad for her and now all I can think about is me and whats going to happen when I get my nuchal scan.

WHY???

 

[Ann-Marie]

Aw hun !! Thats really sad

I had a 'missed abortion' identical to that. I went for my 12 week scan, and the baby had 'stopped growing' at 9 weeks. It sometimes signal that the placenta hadn't rooted properly. I know that does't help.

You must be really worrying about what to say. Just be there for her, and let her lead any conversation, she'll talk when/if she's ready

 

[niknaknat]

Don't really know what to say hun but like Anne marie said all you can do is be there for her if and when she needs you. xxxxxx

 

[Mervs Mum]

Aw hun !! Thats really sad

I had a 'missed abortion' identical to that. I went for my 12 week scan, and the baby had 'stopped growing' at 9 weeks. It sometimes signal that the placenta hadn't rooted properly. I know that does't help.

You must be really worrying about what to say. Just be there for her, and let her lead any conversation, she'll talk when/if she's ready

She's only emailed me. she said she feels numb and will be in touch. I just said I dont know what to say so I wont say anything except that I'm sending love.

I just dont get it. I saw my baby's HB at 7 weeks and I felt so reassured but now I feel like the rug has been taken froim under me. I'm at work but I leave at 3 on a friday - its a good job coz I'm sat crying and I dont do crying at work.

 

[Ann-Marie]

She's only emailed me. she said she feels numb and will be in touch. I just said I dont know what to say so I wont say anything except that I'm sending love.

I just dont get it. I saw my baby's HB at 7 weeks and I felt so reassured but now I feel like the rug has been taken froim under me. I'm at work but I leave at 3 on a friday - its a good job coz I'm sat crying and I dont do crying at work.

All the symptoms disappeared for me from 9 weeks.....

You still have your symptoms.... sickness, tired................. Please don't worry

 

[miel]

oh lisa...i am very sorry for your friend but don't stress yourself , you are fine and your baby is fine i am sure of it you a very very good dear person nothing will happen don't worry to much.
sending you lots of love.

 

[Vickie]

I'm so sorry for your friends loss.

 

[babezone]

aww hun try not to worry to much....i know what you mean tho i gets scared.....is there nothing u can do to keep reasuring yourself.....maybe a doppler of ebay..but then i dont no how far gone u hve to be to hear it with one.....jus not try take it easy...sorry about ur friend hun thats just awfull xxx

 

[elles28]

I am so sorry for you & your friend

 

[wishes]

I just dont understand why that happens either... you just have to believe that everything happens for a reason i guess.

Youll be fine hun, please dont worry.

 

[ladymilly]

 

[Mervs Mum]

Thanks Girls. You're great.

I just cant understand it. I know everything happens for a reason etc but its so cruel to think she was excited and had no reason to believe she would go today and get such terrible news. I cant ask her anything for obvious reasons. Thats probably not a bad thing or I'd be reading in to everything from now on. I think its just particularly hard to hear that the baby died at about 9 weeks. You know, when I was pregnant with Emily I breezed through it, never really worried that it might not happen. I guess as I was 19 then and I'm 33 now I have a different outlook on life - less carefree and much more realistic. I dont remember stressing about only getting one scan at 16 weeks and I certainly didnt think that when I did get scanned that there would be anything else to report other than a healthy baby wriggling about.
I'm on my own this weekend - hubby is in Paris on a school trip. Like I need to be on my own 'stewing' right now. Then again I should just snap out of it and remember how my friend must be feeling. Thank God I have you lot to keep me busy.

 

[Rumpskin]

Oh that is terrible news lovely x

 

[leeanne]

Aww, honey, I am so sorry about your friend, and also about your anxiety.


Although I feel good, I feel anxious too. One of my OH's exes carried until 40 weeks and when she went in to deliver, something had happened to the baby a week prior. I get this god awful anxiety and sadness when I think about it.

When I hear about miscarriages at a later week in pregnancy, it scares the crap out of me too.

I don't know why it happens and I can only imagine what your friend must be going through right now. It's terribly sad

 

[Donna26]

I'm so sorry to hear this news,
I do agree with you though- I feel worried now! When I was in the EPU last week they said- once you see a heartbeat at 8 weeks you have a 96% chance it will progress to a normal healthy pregnancy.
I have been trying to reassure myself with these rates, but this post confirms my fears.
God I really wish I wasn't going on Holiday next week.
Anyway- enough about me-
My thoughts are with you and your friend.
D
x

 

[jonnanne3]

I am so srrry to hear about your friends loss. You are doing all you can by just being there for her. I can imagine how you are feeling, but I know you will get through this and you will continue to be a great friend to her!

 

[Vickie]

Unfortunately there really is no reason, nothing to point to, to say why this happens to some people.

 

[gde78]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this Lisa. That's such sad news. All you can do is be there and give her lots of support when she's ready. Sorry you're going to be on your own all weekend too honey. You don't need that right now.

I don't know what we can do to reassure ourselves. Would another pg test tell us everything's OK?

 

[nikky0907]

Sad news,but 70 % of women have a misscarriage.It just happens...Although she must be feeling terrible,it happened for a reason,just like you said...
I hope she will have a healthy baby one day...

xxx

 

[Belle]

Sorry to hear of ur friends sad news Lisa!
I too worry from a day to day basis that something is wrong with babe. I stopped bein sick 4 2 days and thought why but was really reasured when i was hanging my head over the loo all morning! Being pregnant is as scary as it is exciting but just try not to worry.
As 4 being on ur own, u have us!!
Keep strong!! x