Will I ever be normal again??

[Amos2009]

And I say "normal" very loosely!!
After all my losses, my docs convinced me I needed to wait 4-6 months before TTC again. Sooo....I waited 3 months (I'm such a rebel) and this is my first month TTC. I already feel like a failure since I am pretty sure I am out this month. In all my 5 losses, we got pregnant really quickly and I feel like since we didn't this first month, it will never happen.
I know in reality this is just my crazy mind, but yet I can't get over that feeling. I just feel like my body is changing now and I have had my chances to have a baby and I have blown it......
No real point in this thread. Just wanted to put it down on paper...(well- computer lol)

 

[svetayasofiya]

I hope you will still get your chance. Life can be so unfair and we try so hard to find rhyme or reason during all this, but I can't find any. Sorry for your losses and I hope you get your happy ending.

 

[Amos2009]

Thanks Sveta

 

[wannabe mam]

I really hope you get your wish and become pregnant soon. I dont know how you have coped you must be so strong! I have had 1 miscarraige in my first pregnancy and I have struggled. Sometimes you just need to speak to soemone else on here who understands. I feel like I am wishing my life away until I am pregnant again. Making plans and thinking positive is the way forward.
Good luck xxx

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Hi Amos,

So happy to see your back, wow cant believe you have been away for 3 months that has gone soooooo fast. I know exactly how your feeling especially as your use to falling so quickly BUT your ticker says 8DPO your not out yet hunny. I have everything crossed for you and looking forward to stalking you once again.xxxx

 

[Amos2009]

Thanks Wannabe. Sorry about your loss. One loss or ten losses- it's all so hard and troubling at times. Hope you get your sticky BFP soon!!

Sassy!! How have you been sweetie?? I'm 8 DPO, but if I am pg, usually by this time I have one major symptom- boobs that are untouchable!! I know each pregnancy is different, but that has always been my sure sign. In the big picture I know it's ok- my doc will be happy though- I have made it to her minumum 4 cycle mark!!

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Not great to be honest, just had my 4th M/C.

I always think I know I'm pregnant but I had no idea last time so theres hope yet, it's not over until the fat lady sings and all that.

If not stay positive and like you say you have made it to 4 cycles. Welcome back anyway.xxxx

 

[Amos2009]

Sorry Sassy I should have paid better attention to your ticker.

 

[Dazed]

Althought I know I truely don't know how you feel, I kinda do. I am in that same sinking PMS ship now. I wish I could tell you something to comfort you, but I know I personally can't, all I can offer you is a BIG hug!

 

[Amos2009]

Thanks Dazed. I guess we all have these moments- we just have to get through them and I know we will

 

[Lucy1973]

Amos, so sorry to hear such a hard time you are having. I assume you have had loads of tests?

I really hope you get your sticky one, I have only had two, and it's hard enough after those, I can't imagine having more!
to everyone with losses

 

[Amos2009]

Hi Lucy- so sorry about your losses
Yes they have done all the tests and did find a couple of things wrong, so I had some follow up tests done yesterday. I should get those results back Monday. I do feel like I am in good hands at least- I told them what I wanted done when I do get pregnant, and they seemed to be on the same page. We will see if they still agree after these latest tests though lol. I just have so much hope now that I know I have something wrong with me and am on some meds- I guess that's why I want to hurry up and get pg to see if this might actually be my sticky one!!

 

[puppymom32]

Awww babes I know how you feel I get my days where I feel the same way. Praying and hoping with everything that I have that you will get your sticky bubs very soon. Big Hugs Love your new avatar such a lovely couple.

 

[Amos2009]

Awww Thanks Amy. Yes that is me and my hubby at my 20th class reunion this past weekend.
How have you been? Any moving forward towards IVF? Or other options?

 

[puppymom32]

I'm good Dh has been in the hospital and getting IV treatments at home for an infection that got in his blood he finally get to stop the IV treatment tomorrow. I am in the process of applying for an IVF scholarship so we will see how that goes. If not gonna have to get a part time job soon to be able to afford it. I wish I had a magic jeanie or something.

 

[Amos2009]

Oh no...I didn't know your hubby had been sick? Glad to hear he is doing better though!
All this IVF business makes me wish we lived in the UK...at least over there those girls have a fighting chance ya know?? It's so damn expensive here!

 

[puppymom32]

It really is I hate it soooo much. I think I might try to get more involved no matter what happens and see I can do something to help make it easier for future ladies with all of our issues. I did send a letter to my congress woman who knows if it will help but something has got to change.

 

[Amos2009]

You go girl!! That sounds like a great idea. I will write mine too!!!

 

[Lucy1973]

Wow you guys, do you really have to pay for it?
We get a couple of goes for free in UK, so we are lucky. Puppymum, hope you get the scholarship! You sure deserve it!

Amos, glad you feel hopeful, if they know what's wrong then they should be able to help you next time.

 

[puppymom32]

Thanks Lucy yep only like 20% of insurances in America cover any fertility treatment. Most states cover nothing. Really sucks.